Have you ever checked your partners phone?

[Elizanotlittle]

I have with my ex. Some of my friends say they have never looked snd don't even think about it. Others say they check now and then and don't feel bad.

I don't want to go down this road with new partner.

Never. Until I knew what I'd find anyway.

Yes.

I had strong suspicions he was up to something from his behaviour. I was right.

In the words of the great philosopher Fleshlumpeater; I has no regrets.

I did with an ex's phone because it went off at 5.30am when his dad was extremely poorly so I thought it may have been important. Turns out it was just another woman proclaiming her love for him and explaining how she was looking forward to seeing him that night. I then checked the past messages between them to make sure it wasn't a mistake and there were pots of love you texts, poems, soppy messages. I had never looked at his phone before and never inteneded too. A few minutes later I woke him, confronted him, got called every name under the sun and told him to be gone by the time I got home from work. He actually had the audacity to tell me I was paranoid and they were just friends. Good riddance

No. I made a decision fairly early on that that if I trusted him there was no need for snooping, and that I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone I couldn't trust. I'm also a very private person and would not for five seconds tolerate anyone checking up on me.

Yes. I like the feeling of not finding anything. I don't think he is cheating but then people never really do. I don't think he checks mine. I would be shocked if I found anything. I somwtimes check his internet searches. Always very boring.

Yes because I’m nosey and he forgets to tell me things. I look at it in front of him. If he asks me to stop I will.

Nope never. We know each others pass codes but it would never occur to me to snoop. Then again, I've never had cause to.

I asked to see my ex husband’s phone for several reasons... he was never off the damn thing, always out of data, then suddenly started placing it face down on the side which made me very suspicious. I picked it up once to see what his reaction would be, under the pretense of checking the time. He snatched it off me and was so shifty afterwards I didn’t even have to see anything to know there was something to find. He only agreed to let me see it once he’d stormed out for a while and had time to delete anything incriminating, because apparently I was born yesterday 😂 He admitted it all when he realised I wouldn’t let it drop, it was the final nail in the coffin for us, the fact that I felt I needed to look in the first place

Yes and found something a very very minor something though. Ever since we just use each other’s phones all the time and have the same passcode so I don’t feel the need.

No. Main reason is I'd hate him to check mine in case one of my friends and I had been messaging about something important/private to her. I have nothing I wouldn't share with him but I'm sure my mates wouldn't want him knowing their personal stuff.

Not really but we have access to each other phones, all we need to do is to pick it up and read. We also have a common Apple account and DH leaves his bank statements lying on the table so pretty much no secrets. I prefer it that way.
Have to say, I'm not curious and never went to check his emails or Whatsup or whatever else.

Yes, once. We were going through a rough patch and he'd been acting weird. Turned out his only mistress was alcohol (which he subsequently got help for).

No. I couldn't. If I couldn't trust my DH, we wouldn't have a relationship. If he ever breaks my trust then it will come out at some point and that would be it. If someone is going to break your trust, checking a phone isn't going to stop them.

My first relationship was controlling and abusive and I was traumatised by that but also ashamed to say that I learned some unhealthy relationship behaviour from it. If I ever feel that I'm behaving or considering behaving in a way that exp would have done, I stamp it out as quickly as possible. Phone checking is one of those things. It has crossed my mind a few times for completely irrational reasons but I give myself a mental kick up the arse.

I know his phone password and his tablet password and he knows mine because sometimes its just convenient.

No. Never ever .

Privacy is important. Besides, I adore and trust him so no need.

Audrina - that is quite chilling.

You have no respect at all for your partner, let alone trust.

My DP's ex checked his phone, opened his mail and his emails as part of an ongoing abusive and controlling relationship. I would never do it and he knows it. We choose to trust each other.

Yes, and found what I suspected I'd find. He's now my ex.

I'd never check never would mind. If i felt the need to snoop though messages it would signal I thought something was seriously wrong. I'd rather leave.
MG knows my code I don't know his I have no idea if he's ever checked my phone ..I have nothing to hide if he wanted to look through my phone he could I wouldn't have a problem with that he'd be extremely bored rather quickly.

No never. It just wouldn't occur to me, I have no interest in what's on there and no reason to.

The moment you start doing things like this is a slippery slope to relationship destruction. Obviously it’s different if your OH is giving you very good reason to be paranoid (like being on their phone constantly and taking it with them absolutely everywhere even to the toilet, or snatching it out of your hand if you want to look at the time or something). But if they aren’t behaving like that then it’s a really crappy thing to do to invade someone’s privacy because of your own insecurities

I have. I had major trust issues due to past relationships particularly one ex who cheated on me with his son's Mum (which is so not an excuse!). I got so paranoid DP would do the same.

I once found something on DP's phone. He wasn't cheating or anything like that but it was something he lied about. I drove myself mad for months checking his phone at every opportunity. Since that one time he hasn't given me a single reason to distrust him.

It was totally my issue which I brought into the relationship and shouldn't have. I haven't checked in a long time though and I think it's a really unhealthy thing to do.

No, never.

Sometimes read his messages out of interest if I’ve borrowed his phone or something but we both know each other’s passwords and tell each other everything so it’s not like i’m checking up on him, just reading the office gossip 😂

i've checked only when i've been suspicious of something and i've always been right. its not a regular occurance.

not even cheating but even silly things like we were doing a detox - no wine! and my partner was with friends and came home and i was sure a little drunk, checked phone and right enough a 'she won't find out' message from a friend! minor argument, but again suspicions correct.

i've found out an ex was cheating this way too

My partner asked me to find something on his phone today actually and I did have a nosey. More to see which pics he's keeping

Fortunately there was nothing untoward and I never thought for a second there would be.

No. Never. He cheated and dumped me for homewrecker at work