AIBU to think it is irresponsible to eat a meal full of sugar and fats if you are diabetic?

[lolaflores]

SIL has type 2 diabetes. In the last 2 years or so it has become very problematic, hard to control, difficult to get accurate sugar levels. She has been really poorly, hospitalized etc. I don't know if this has to do with her age and menopause etc but, for whatever reasons her condition has caused a lot of concern
All of which made me express my surprise of a pic she posted of her breakfast this morning.
A stack of pancakes topped with several crispy rashers of bacon and the whole lot swimming in maple syrup...
I mentioned it to my DH saying I thought it was irresponsible of her to eat like that given the state of her diabetes.
He didn't see the problem
Am I being thick or is he.
If there is somethign I am missing about diabetes management then would someone enlighten me because I can't see anything right about that meal for someone with that condition....

I think there’s a lot going on - it seems so simple on the outside. And yet my relative - my dad - is an intelligent man with a very successful career who seems to have a blind spot with food.

He will always order the highest calorie item on the menu ie: steak pie rather than steak, potatoes mashed with butter rather than boiled etc etc

He seems to automatically eat - Mum keeps dried fruit in the cupboard thinking he will eat a few raisins and that will stave off sugar cravings. He eats handfuls abd finishes the packet.

He baked a fruitcake ‘for Christmas’ and put it in a tin. None of us had a slice. It was gone in two weeks.

He doesn’t see it. We do. But it’s so hard to keep nagging and so hard for someone to feel constantly judged.

But most type 2 diabetics don't test.

I was diagnosed end of August and put straight onto the maximum dose of tablets. 4 weeks of feeling pants I went back the the Dr and was put onto them properly. Increasing the dose over 2 week periods to the maximum dose (which still make me feel like pants)

I have also been on a course and was interested when it was the week on eating. All health care professionals ranging from my Dr to my nurse had all said cut out sugar and carbs - the course has said you can eat what you like as long as it is part of a healthy balanced diet. Now, I know a healthy balanced diet is one that doesn't rely on sugars and carbs but to have a balance of foods. But, some people may see this as being able to eat what you want as the tablets are sorting out the diabetes for you.

But, some people may see this as being able to eat what you want as the tablets are sorting out the diabetes for you.

Yy to that

The NHS doesn’t support type 2 diabetics with testing - there are still plenty that do.

Dh is type 2, and for the most part, eats well, but it takes time, research and working out what his problem was (carb sensitive) for him to lose weight and his sugar and ldl/hdl readings to be where his consultant wanted.

It is also difficult for families - I love chocolate, ds loves ice cream, and if we have them, we have to police dh, as he will snaffle ice cream and certain types of chocolate if it's there. Whilst wanting to help, I also don't see why I should forego what I enjoy just because dh can't resist ice cream. Low fat natural yoghurt (no nasties, just yoghurt made from skimmed milk) and blueberries gets boring after a while.)

AnnaMagnani my Dad died of type 2 (was extremely skinny his whole life however) but would say things like:

• products for diabetics were pointless as he used to buy a friend's wife diabetic chocolates every time he visited and they eventually asked him not to because "they are worse for diabetics than normal chocolates."

• he could have a drink (he drank very little so it wasn't a big problem) as the Diabetes Nurse had told him he could have four glasses of wine a day. I said "Well I doubt she said that, Dad, she probably said that she knew someone who had four glasses of wine at a wedding once and was OK, but it's definitely not true that you can drink four glasses of wine every day, that too much for someone without diabetes," and got "Yeah yeah yeah love I know, it just shows these people don't know what they're talking about" and proceeding to ignore everything she'd told him until he was dead.

For the poster that said "why do you care?" Well because she is kind and loving enough to not want her SIL to die, that's why.

Fat is an interesting point. I don't think it's quite as simple as eat as much high fat food as you like so long as you're low carb (if you're overweight anyway, and most T2s [not all of course] are).

First because fat really slows a spike - so you might test and think you're fine but actually you're on the way up and will be for some time. Some people find that food like pizza doesn't spike for about 4 hours instead of 1!

Secondly some of the research seems to suggest that fat around/in the pancreas and liver is part of the problem. So these fierce 800 calorie a day fasting diets that have reduced blood sugar levels are thought to work because they reduce that fat.

I guess the answer is probably, as usual, everything in moderation - have the real cheese, mayo, etc, but not too much of it! Lots of green veg and a healthy amount of protein. Low to moderate carbs; everyone will be different in what they can tolerate.

Indeed, MIL was told there was no need to test her blood sugar everyday - assuming she was following a healthy lifestyle, the A1C test would be adequate. However since she refuses to deal with the 'fat' nurse she avoids those tests and buys her own testing strips.

lola be a dear and read my post, would you? It says "in your title".

I have type 1 diabetes and love an occasional meal of pancakes, maple syrup and bacon. However, it's taken me 10 years to work out how to dose my insulin for it, it's a nightmare!
But, keeping to a diet every day for the rest of your life is hard and people fall off the wagon, sometimes for months on end. It's the mental load of balancing everything, Google "diabetes burnout".
I wouldn't shame her with her choice of food, she probably already feels rubbish. Why does she feel like she doesn't want to take care of herself, given her young family? Depression is very common in diabetics. Would you be able to invite her out for a walk regularly, or some other exercise, for instance?

Of course that sort of meal is completely unsuitable. Perhaps if you are a very well controlled diabetic and it’s a special occasional treat like your birthday it might be ok. In her situation, no. Definitely not.
It does not surprise me that your DH doesn’t get it either, he was presumably raised in the same family as her and would have adopted similar attitudes and beliefs around health and food.
I’m a nurse and routinely care for diabetics with horrendous leg and foot ulcers that will not heal. Being bed bound in hospital for weeks at a time at 60 is pretty shite. I think if people had a realistic understanding of where they are headed if they don’t look after their chronic diseases they might be more motivated to take care of themselves.

okay, someone posts how a facebook post makes them feel like shit and the overwhelming response on MN is....it's fakebook, it's not true, don't believe all you see blah blah blah.
brace yourself...maybe your sil knows what she should and shouldn't eat and this was a joke?

I gave T2 and control it through well through low carb diet and exercise. Nobody but my dh knows Ive got it because the last thing I want is to be monitored by the diet police. Sometimes I like to eat puddings and pies and i don’t want others commenting.

“Why do you care?” is a pointless response to any post on MN.

No, type 2 diabetes is not necessarily ‘caused by lifestyle’. There are a range of causes, and actually I believe that it is likely that for many people it is a processing issue long before it becomes a lifestyle issue. I was diagnosed with type 2 purely by accident through testing and the doctors were baffled as I was not someone who ‘should’ have it.

And actually, for the poster who mentioned it, we were told by our very good consultant, a specialist in diabetes, to avoid special diabetic foods as they are generally worse than the normal ones. They are generally a money making scam by food companies and have nothing to do with actually managing diabetes. If you check the carb content (in other words, for the purposes of diabetic control, the sugar content) on diabetic chocolates it is usually higher than normal ones, for example.

To all those people tut tutting and shaking their heads. Diabetes is as much about what is going on in your mind, as what is on your plate. Think of all the issues people have with food and then add a life limiting condition too. You have no idea, unless you have diabetes, how difficult it is to live with. Diabetic care in the UK is shocking, really shocking. It is better than it was when i was diagnosed 35 years ago, but it is still way behind other countries, including USA.

I get so sick of people telling me i shouldn't be eating this or that and they know nothing about it. Mind your own fucking business, until you walk a day in my shoes, let alone a life time.

I disagree that only a small number of Type 2 diabetes is caused by diet as a PP said. Diabetes 2 is a huge problem at the moment and most of it is caused by diet.

My mum is the same though. Her eyesight is going bad but yesterday she was sitting on the phone eating a bag of mini eggs. Sugar is very addictive. She tries, but it’s hard, so I don’t say anything. It’s her life.

I feel your pain but what can you do?

Dh had a type 2 appt this week and advised nurse he had porridge with ss milk, a banana and grapes every day for brunch. She said to drop the fruit?! Is she right?

I’m not an expert but I think whole fruits are fine as long as not eaten to excess. Limit fruit juices and dried fruits though.

I recommend keeping a food diary in something like MFP which will tell you how much of each food group he is eating.

lola be a dear and read my post, would you? It says “in your title”.

Some ops put completely different titles up from the ones their thread is about so that it draws attention and get clicked on. I don’t see posters blasting them for that. But Lola didn’t add type 2. Her AIBU is very clear to me.

Lola
You sound as though you really care about your sil. Unfortunately you can’t change the way she acts.

Roystonv
Grapes and bananas are very high in sugar. Berries and are lower sugar fruits. Perhaps have a few of these if his blood sugar is stable with them.

I don’t have diabetes but I am overweight and getting toward insulin resistance, mine is diet related. I have read that diabetes caused by high sugar and therefore insulin resistance can be managed from a low carb high fat diet. I’m not saying categorically this could be right for your dh as there are many factor to consider and some HCP’s will totally disagree with it. All I can say is from a personal POV when I was on LCHF I felt miles better. It takes a lot of effort to eat like this, it’s labour intensive and I found it not sustainable long term. I do know a couple of people who are on it and feel great. They do, however, get regular blood tests to ensure they are actually as healthy as they feel.

Has your dh tried eating plenty of vegetables and protein and reducing his carbs? I imagine he needs to play around with his diet and find the right one for him.

Roystonv

Fruit in general is pretty high in sugar but grapes and bananas are two of the highest in sugar/carbs.

imagine you're at work and you're busy and you need to go and grab a quick lunch. But you really need to keep the carbs to under about 30g or less. What do you buy?

Pret - no sandwiches, no hot wraps, no falafel boxes, no mac n cheese. No muffins, no sweet bars, no crisps. Some of the soups, some of the salads, the hard boiled egg and spinach pot and some nuts maybe.

Supermarket - boxed salad or pot of soup.

M&s - cold meat or fish or cheese, salad, soup.

bakery - forget it

Etc etc etc. Now imagine this every single day, for every single meal. Constantly analysing labels; constantly having to resist whatever you fancy; constantly having to tell yourself that you really want another salad or bowl of soup.

You can't ever just order a pizza or have a nice bowl of pasta. Puddings come with such a side of guilt that you end up ordering cheese. But no crackers or grapes or bread or chutney with it, not for you. You even have to watch what you drink. If you order a soft drink and the waiter brings full sugar, you've got a real problem.

Meanwhile everyone else around you is happily munching on whatever they fancy without even thinking about it.

And then when you've tried really hard and made loads of effort and shown lots of will power, you test your blood sugar and it's too high anyway. It feels like a massive kick in the teeth as well as being bad for you.

Meanwhile you have to be constantly aware because even things like a cold can shoot up your blood sugar. exercise can be really unpredictable and cause rises in some people sometime. If you cut your foot it's panic stations in case it doesn't heal.

Well meaning people tell you nonstop about all the amazing cures that have been discovered in the Amazon and how their uncle's best friend's wife's cousin's budgie was totally cured after losing weight...

And all this is permanent. It's forever.

It's utterly fucking shit and nobody who hasn't had to live with it can understand just how shit it is!

You can’t judge on the basis of one meal. If that’s the type of stuff she eats all the time then yes it is s problem and she needs to reasses her diet if it’s a once a month treat it’s not an issue

I agree with you OP, if this is the usual way your SIL eats. If it's an ocassional treat, then fair enough.
Most cases of diabetes T2 are lifestyle related, though there is a genetic factor in some cases. Anyone who doesn't make a consistent effort to improve their outcome by lifestyle changes (improved diet, exercise, quitting smoking, and controlled/minimal alcohol intake) is being irresponsible.
Actually I apply that across the board, not just for people with diabetes.