AIBU to think it is irresponsible to eat a meal full of sugar and fats if you are diabetic?

[lolaflores]

SIL has type 2 diabetes. In the last 2 years or so it has become very problematic, hard to control, difficult to get accurate sugar levels. She has been really poorly, hospitalized etc. I don't know if this has to do with her age and menopause etc but, for whatever reasons her condition has caused a lot of concern
All of which made me express my surprise of a pic she posted of her breakfast this morning.
A stack of pancakes topped with several crispy rashers of bacon and the whole lot swimming in maple syrup...
I mentioned it to my DH saying I thought it was irresponsible of her to eat like that given the state of her diabetes.
He didn't see the problem
Am I being thick or is he.
If there is somethign I am missing about diabetes management then would someone enlighten me because I can't see anything right about that meal for someone with that condition....

Northernlurker simple question.
Is a dish loaded with sugar a good or bad meal choice for someone with poorly controlled diabetes?
That was my question.
My DH didn't seem to think it was.
His SIL has been told by myself and other members of her family what they think of her eating habits in regards to her health. No secret been made of what I think. Ever.
I haven't said I think controlling diabetes is a walk in the park

I have worked with people who are diabetic.
The information that is given to them re Diet is appalling. No one has time to sit down and actually explain how they should eat, portions etc...
The message of the GP is ‘if you take that medication, you will be fine’. And if blood sugar aren’t good then they just try another set if medication.
That’s wo talking about let’s say hospital meals full of sugar (think cakes, sugary custard etc...) for someone who is diabetic.

So yes I agree that what she is eating has too much sugar (the fat from the bacon will not be an issue for her diabetes though. In fact, it will help slow the rise in sugar in the blood steam). But I suspect she hasn’t been taught, nor has she be told how much difference this will make to her wellbeing/health.

My dad does this and it drives me mad. He goes between eating really healthily and eating loads of food that's really bad for him. I think it's completely irresponsible.

You're kind of BU for judging but your opinion isn't BU.

My DH &BIL are both T2 diabetes. Bil currently only has 8 toes, he's got no bother about stuffing takeaways, Mars bars and doesn't give a hoot about anything.
DH on the other hand eats well, I've changed how I cook to little to no processed foods, no cooking sauces and mainly low fat and he's managed to get his levels way down (don't quite understand it all but it's 48) on the overall scores which his nurse is extremely pleased with.
I'd be giving my DH the eyebrow at the meal you describe, unless it was very much a one off thing. And reminding him that he actually feels quite rubbish when his sugars go too high.

Basically there's no point in trying to change her pov because it's unlikely she doesn't know that's not a healthy option.

Fwiw the way diabetes is dealt with in this country is bad.
Loads of people are loosing limbs/sight or even life because their blood sugar isn’t controlled.
It’s a real shame when some simple changes could make such a huge difference.

Fwiw my dad has type 2 diabetes. It’s totally controlled with diet. He doesnt even take any medication anymore so would be considered in ‘remission’ (which he isn’t. Because if he was going back to how he was eating, the problem wouod be the same....). So it’s totally doable.
But he only managed because my mum spent hours and hours working out the best diet, went through all the quantities, proportions etc...

NOtReawdyToMove she is well informed and knows the difference.
Fair enough. I don't live with diabetes and I can't fully understand the process behind her choices and it isn't my place to judge, I'll accept that.

But it looks like running into the traffic with a blindfold on from where I am sitting.
Probably a reaction to all the constraints over a life time of living with a condition, which again, I won;t fully appreciate as I don't live with it but if you could give yourself one slight gain against it, wouldn't you do it?

I've just googled sugar free maple syrup and there are lots of varieties.

So, do you know what brand she used?

Diabetes is a bit weird as different things spike differently in people.
DH has type 2, he can eat sugar & fats no issues but some carbs send his bloods rocketing.

Type 2 is caused by lifestyle (ie eating way too much sugar so that you knacker your pancreas) so yes, eating loads of sugar when you have type 2 diabetes is going to be bad for your health.

Fats are not relevant to the diabetes, other than in the general sense that being very overweight makes management harder.

Newyear thats a thing. I didn't check

A family member who has had diabetes for many years acts like this. He is in this thirties, very bright, and very very arrogant. For many years he has " controlled" his diabetes and awful diet by adjusting his insulin - he says this works for him and completely ignores the number of times he has had to be hospitalised as he has been slipping into a coma.

He is now starting to get problems with his feet. I can see him being a candidate for amputation before he hits 40.

She was in a cafe from what I can tell.

Not sure about Type 2, but the nutritional advice some hospitals give out for gestational diabetes is shockingly bad. I was given a leaflet stating that a kit kat is a healthy snack because of they have a low number of calories per serving!

My mum is like this. She is type 2 and obese. She had a gastric band fitted about 7 years ago but 2 days later she was eating cake at a family meal.

Unsurprisingly she has not lost a pound of weight and is plagued with associated health problems.

Not proud to admit it but hard not to judge

YANBU but you'll never change her so don't bother trying.

MIL has had Type 2 for over 20 years and has told us a) that she's been told she's allowed 2 cream cakes a week (God knows by who) b) she's been advised to go onto insulin but she won't because she couldn't eat when and what she wanted to and c) why should she take the nutritional advice of a fat nurse?

It's bizarre really because she insists on testing her bloods several times a day and writing them down but doesn't actually act on them. DH took a photo of her tea the other week - it consisted of a Twix, a banana and a Mr Kipling cake. She's suffering from neuropathy and can't sew anymore but refuses to link it to the uncontrolled diabetes. DH and I don't mention it anymore - it's pointless.

Not all type 2 diabetes is caused by lifestyle - stop reading the headlines and learn some facts!

Not all diabetes can be managed by simply not eating sugar.

His SIL has been told by myself and other members of her family what they think of her eating habits in regards to her health. No secret been made of what I think. Ever.
I haven't said I think controlling diabetes is a walk in the park

So you're all telling her what an idiot she is all the time?
You are right in that her meal is a poor choice for a diabetic, but it's not your life or your kids and you don't know how she feels about the illness or what else is going on in her head.
Do you actually want to help or are you just enjoying judging her and arguing with your DH about what a selfish idiot she is?
I imagine she doesn't need any of this pointing out and all that happens when you do so is she probably feels like shit.
Why don't you just lay off.

Depends why she has Type 2 diabetes. Only the forms that are caused by weight gain / obesity can be controlled by diet etc. That is a shockingly small number of people, no matter what you think you know about the disease most diabetes sufferers don’t get it just because they are fat.

Generally women who get it young have another condition that causes the diabetes (secondary diabetes): Pancreatic Cancer, PCOS, Cushings are the most common ones. No amount of diet will help them significantly and so they may struggle a lot. If a sweet breakfast every now and again helps her mentally then fine.

Thank you Friedgreen, I’m fed up on the ignorance about type 2 and this attitude that others have the right to judge you if you put something other than ‘healthy’ food in your mouth.

I’d suggest if you care so much you start attending all the blood tests and appointments your SIL has to attend on a regular basis before you judge her for eating pancakes.

Would she be offended if you gave her a copy of Michael Mosely's The Blood Sugar diet? thebloodsugardiet.com/

She really needs to understand the effects of what she eats and as far as I'm aware, they are not well publicised. The misinformation about what is a healthy diet for type 2 Diabetes in general is shocking and some professionals just promote the drugs approach that viques relative follows

Would she be interested in reading about Dr Aseem Malhotra's work as a leading cardiologist on the effects of sugar on peoples' health. doctoraseem.com/biography/

She might find the Blood Sugar Diet book (Michael Moseley) interesting reading.

The problem is a lot of the information about diet and exercise is out there already and HCPs tend to assume that patients know what's what and how to control diet.

I live in a place where people don't know honey is sugar...

What she needs to do is understand what causes her sugar levels to spike or drop, it could be:
certain foods
exercise
Dehydration
Hot or cold temperatures
Not feeling well
Lack of sleep
Because the wind has blown north today

Diabetes is unquie to each person, reading books won’t help. Continuous self testing will.

It really depends if it is a treat meal or a daily habit. Everyone eats unhealthy stuff fromtime to time. Diabetics are not perfect people with perfect willpower who only eat carrots and salad. They are just like everyone else. You can't state that she is living unhealthily because of one pancake meal. Tbf even if it is a daily habit and if she has poor blood sugar control I don't see how you can change that for her. I'd let it go if I were you.

You have absolutely no idea what it's like. Yes, on paper it's all very easy so of course you know exactly how you'd deal with it. And starting judgey threads about her is really going to help her