Leaving baby crying

[harriettehashadenough]

He's 18 mo crying in his cot now, goes down really well every night but wakes up crying looking for attention refuses milk or juice, only thing that stops him is our bed.

AIBU to just be brutal and let him cry it out cold turkey? We do CIO contact every 5 minutes usually.

He knows what he's doing

You’re not doing anything wrong! It’s totally normal for babies and toddlers to wake and need their parents overnight. Also totally normal for them to strongly prefer sleeping close to their parents.

Will be sleep in his cot if you stay in the room with him?

Excuse typos (new phone!)

Just wondering

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3052438/Coroner-calls-urgent-action-newborn-baby-died-bed.html

On a side note don't offer him juice at night, a sure-fire way to rot his teeth.

OP, that article is about a newborn. Yours is almost a toddler (and too big for a crib anyway).

Yes I know that, just explaining why I didn't buy one from when he was a newborn if that makes sense

Yes I've read about the unbearable crying reflex aswell, it's so hard!!! No one tells you this!!!

Treat him how you'd like to be treated when you're infirm in a nursing home.

Does he have a dummy? I know some people hate them, but they worked wonders for us. We used to put a couple in cot in case he lost it.

There's some real my-shit-doesn't-stink types on here isn't there!

Our 16 month old would hate to be left in his own room. He's still in with us, in a cot right next to the bed. Used to have a Snüzpod but much too big now. He likes to cosleep as well sometimes.

Suggest you put him back in with you. He's still tiny.

Yes he's got a dummy, I tried putting a few in so he could find one but he moves around so much we watched him one night swap the dummy out of his Mouth for one in his hand about 27 times 🤣

He's nodded off now, going to get some shit eye until he wakes again!! Thanks for the suggestions xxxxx

Cry it out is horrible for babies and toddlers. Cold turkey is even worse, bring him in with you. He’s not manipulating, he needs comfort. He needs to know that his mummy is there for him when he needs her whether he is 18 months or 18 years. Please go and get him

Shut eye

My daughter was like this from birth, wouldn't be away from me day or night it's bloody hard going but after trying the "no cry method" (ha!) and cry it out without success we caved in and just learnt to co-sleep figuring that any sleep was better than none.

I have no advice as we've only just got her to sleep reliably in her own bed now she's 4 but just wanted to say you're not alone and try not to stress it. This too shall pass!

I actually think my DS cries less because he knows we will always go to him, and he knows we are immediately available and in arms reach.

It's very rare that he wakes properly, it's easy to settle him from bed.

@ hip hop op already said that he is not tired, hungry or cold. I’m Sure she knows her child better than anyone. 18 months is quite old enough for a child to know how to play there parents (mother of 3) so wind your neck in. If you haven’t got anything constructive to say don’t say anything at all.

Shit eye is what you get after 18 months of sleep deprivation!

I did accidental crying it out, having fallen almost comatose on the sofa though sheer exhaustion one evening and not waking until daybreak. He must have wailed and wailed

I couldn't have engineered it, but it bloody worked.

I have left my children to CIO when they were younger than 18 months. Going in every 5/10 mns or whatever made them more angry.
It was tough but completely worth it as I have now 2 very good sleepers.
I completely realise that my view is considered to be cruel and heartless but god did it make a difference to all of us.

My parents did cry it out with me and I'm fine. If you do choose that method don't feel guilty.

I had a friend who had a spare bed in their child's nursery and they could go in and lie down on the bed until the child fell back asleep in the cot; the child could see the parent and was reassured by their presence and apparently it worked brilliantly for them. Could you put a comfortable chair in there?

I'm back just felt the weight dropping out of the bottom of my feet and crying again 😢 I'm up at six. Feel for him I do, can't imagine being able to sleep but not doing

Next time he wakes up he's coming in here for another sleepless night for all of us.

Can't wait until he has his first ever hangover MUHAHAaaa

At 18 months, I don't think there's any problem doing a bit of sleep training. I've never left mine to just cry - always go in straight away to check everything is ok - but with DD1 I did drawn-out version of what you are doing when she went through a bad sleeping phase. If it was clear there was nothing particularly wrong (i.e she settled as soon as I went in), I went out again then left it 3, then 5, then 7 minutes etc before going back in. It worked within a couple of days. She was only ever "fussing" rather than full-on crying though. I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if she had been. She's 8 now and still a good sleeper (and shows no sign of being emotionally scarred.....).

On the other end of the spectrum, DD2 was always a terrible sleeper and I co-slept with her for most of the night until she was 4.5 and she still comes in with me every so often.

We went through this at the same age, fuck knows what caused it but I'm still traumatised.

We ended up leaving him to CIO not because I wanted to, but because everything else made it worse.

I tried sleeping on a mattress in his bedroom and he cried because I wasn't playing with him.

He didn't want to co sleep.

Little sod!