To think your body is the greatest thing you'll ever own and you should invest in it ?

[tiredpom]

Had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. She is overweight and has been told by her GP to lose weight. She is struggling with this, says she can't afford it and simply doesn't have the time.
I work out 6 times a week (yes I know extreme side of the spectrum) But think you should invest in your body as you'll never get another one. I eat healthily 80% of the time and 20% of the time will treat myself. Meals out, wine at weekends etc. I have been trying to help (from afar, don't live in the uk currently) but she has been really snippy with me saying it's easy for you you have the money, the weather and time. My argument is if she has the money (new car, new clothes, meals, trips out) she could prioritise some of that money for gym classes or do them online for free. (You tube) Working out in the heat is just as challenging as the cold (park run in 38 degrees anyone) and time if you have time to go to the movies, shopping malls and watch Netflix you have time to workout. I'm trying to be supportive and send her links to things I think she'd like, but every time she just blames time and money. AIBU to want to shake her and say, how can you not see you have the time and money your just not investing it in your body !!!! That it's her choice not to get better ?

I suppose I am a bit smug. I found myself in a size 16 and this alarmed me so I made changes. I work out six days a week and I quit drinking. Lost nearly two stone and over 6 inches from my waist.

But I (think) I keep my smugness to myself. I don't badger my friends about it. But they often volunteer their excuses when I just mention something about going to the gym. I guess they assume I'm judging them... and I'm not, until they bring out their excuses. I have one friend who, over the same period that I lost weight, gained that much. She talks about joining a gym and she buys workout clothes. . Always some reason why she hasn't joined, yet. I just change the subject.

If someone says something about me doing something extreme or how hard it is, I just say that it's not hard if you prioritise it.

justgettingstarted

i'm the same as you, I lost 4st in 2016 yes i said op is smug but thats only because I dont talk about my weight loss to others, it sounds awful But i cant be bothered. Every one is different and when ever people ask and i tell them about my new lifestyle they just go "oh well I'll never be able to do that" etc. So i just keep my mouth shut.

"Losing weight is really hard"

Yes it is but so is studying, passing academic exams, learning how to drive, learning a new job etc. These things were all challenging for me, I don't believe it's because I'm cerebrally challenged, it's because they are new skills and learning anything new is a challenge.

The biggest con ever perpetrated by the diet industry is that losing weight should be easy. Wrong. Changing ones habits, food choices, taste buds and expectation of portion size is harder than not doing these things. It takes effort.

Until something is an ingrained habit then it is going to be hard work, what is wrong with understanding and accepting that fact?

Why are people so worried about OP "being smug"?!

That's clearly a worse crime on Mumsnet than being supportive to a friend, which is what OP was actually doing.

I think all the "you're smug" accusations are coming from thin skinned people who perhaps struggle to lose weight, and are projecting all their insecurities (and sadly, all their vitriol) onto the OP, trying to hurt her in order to make themselves feel better

Wow, is all I can say to those folk.

I have no idea what you mean by that portentous post @PortiaCastis

For me, losing weight was not easy, but it was simple. I knew exactly what I had to do. And when I did gain a pound or two here and there, I always knew why.

(Didn't always know why I'd lost, but I decided not to think too hard about it!)

And as a runner give me -2 over 20 degrees plus any day! I would say 90% of my running friends agree

Definitely, anything over 12 degrees and I find it too hot for running!

To answer the OP, your friend is just making excuses. She doesn't really want to lose weight or get fit otherwise she would do it.

I find running in the cold much easier than running in the heat

I'm a total fitness fanatic but I never discuss it with people who are into the same thing .....and most people aren't into the same thing
Besides, The gym is crowded enough I don't want everyone else in there too

I agree in principle - it could save a lot of future pain - it's less easy in execution however!

Agreed.

I think my mind is the greatest thing I will ever have, and through learning and creating, I have the chance to leave something behind that will endure long after my body has rotted to nothing.

So no, I look after my health where I can, but I don't batter my mental state by setting myself over-challenging standards,and I do spend the free time I have left after work and responsibilities on writing rather than working out as a priority.

I actually agree with you. My Dad is the same, extremely overweight and a multitude of health problems associated with it. He complains and tells me repeatedly that he's going to do xyz to lose weight. It never happens.

Inwardly I get very frustrated with him as he's not doing anything to help himself. However to his face, I just try to be as supportive as possible and suggest things that he could do (he never takes me advice, nor his doctor for that matter)

So I totally get how annoying it is to have a friend moaning on and asking for your advice, whilst not taking anything on board. Just nod and smile and then change the subject, would be my advice!

Agreed, as in I agree with the title.

She obviously does not want to invest in making this change yet.

I think my mind is the greatest thing I will ever have
So true and brain health is very tightly correlated with cardiovascular health so you should exercise to get the best mind possible

YANBU op, your friend is making excuses, many of us have been there.....wanting to make changes but not making the effort...but that is not your issue it is hers. You answered her request for tips.

You do not come across as judgemental at all, it is other peoples issues creating such vitriolic response, apparently the word fat is the worst in the world here...mustn't say it...!

However I am a stone too fat at the moment because l have been too lazy to exercise and greedy with my food, and lazy with cooking.

If you told me that, l would have to agree because it IS up to me how fit/healthy/slim l am. Not sure why some have an issue with that.

Well done you for having the right priorities, l am going to start with a healthy salad for lunch today OP.

If you're into exercise and follow a healthy diet it makes sense to only discuss that with likeminded people as food/weight is a massively emotive topic and it is very easy to offend.

That said if someone is moaning about being overweight and asking for your advice and then puts barriers up then it's tricky.

As someone who has battled various eating issues (mainly binge eating) and is very sensitive about her weight what annoys me the most is when people say things like, it's easy for you or how can you eat that and stay slim? I have to bite my tongue not to say because I go to the gym every day while you're watching tv or because I eat healthily 90% of the time. I would never say that because it's unkind and because I've been in their shoes. Staying slim and healthy takes a lot of willpower in our society with it's emphasis on convenience foods and also the sheer volume of delicious food out there.

I just wish there was an answer!

DH refuses to exercise for fun. He says he gets enough exercise around the house. To be fair he does a lot, cutting down trees and splitting firewood with an axe. Building barns etc.

I guess he has a point, that going to the gym is dependent upon your existing lifestyle.

No one needs to go to the gym to exercise. Just going for a walk, exercise DVDs, being active in daily life... I find gyms incredibly dull and what I mean by gym is crossfit/weightlifting which is structured and in a group setting. Not being able to afford gym membership is a poor excuse for not doing any exercise.

Gyms aren't for everyone (probably most people actually) but movement should be for everyone (apart from those who are physically unable obviously). We are not designed to sit at a desk all day and on a sofa all evening.

No one needs to go to the gym to exercise. Just going for a walk, exercise DVDs, being active in daily life... I find gyms incredibly dull and what I mean by gym is crossfit/weightlifting which is structured and in a group setting. Not being able to afford gym membership is a poor excuse for not doing any exercise.

Maybe. Maybe not.

I find walking does nothing for me re weight loss.

Exercise dvds get boring and annoying unless you have a biggish lounge and what if you live in a flat. Do aerobics in your lounge with people underneath you?

I found the gym exposed me to so many things I never knew I would have liked if I hadn't tried it.

The trainers are nice and often give free advice. When you're in a class you have got to keep up. The teacher will make you keep up the intensity and shout encouragement.

Doing it alone. The temptation to slack off is far greater.

I agree with you OP. I'm guilty of over indulgence but I always try to claw it back and I'm able to make time for regular exercise. As I get older it becomes more apparent that you really do reap what you sow with regards to health when more and more people I know have serious health conditions that could have been avoided.

It isn't always easy and many choose not to prioritise health. That's their choice but not mine.

But all of those things are better than doing nothing. Which is often the alternative. Gyms can be expensive and they're also bloody intimidating for lots of people. I agree that most people would benefit from the support and advice you get in a gym but if cost is going to be used as a barrier to being active (and I suspect it's more likely the intimidation factor but cost is easier to use) then doing anything else that is active is still good. Albeit not as good. If we are talking about someone that is very overweight and unfit any activity will make a difference. Walking would do sod all for me as well but can be incredibly useful for some. That activity and weight loss will enable people to become more confident and possibly join a gym later on. Or start running or do something else.

I don’t agree with people who say “healthy eating is expensive”. Things like spag bol aren’t unhealthy meals (as long as you aren’t overloading it with vast quantities of cheese and huge mounds of pasta). Batch cooking something like that and having a smaller portion isn’t going to break the bank. Same with making things like homemade soups. Just buy a handful of veg for about £2 and bung it in a blender with some stock. Porridge & omelettes for breakfast etc. Surely buying things like pizzas, takeaways, desserts, alcohol etc is more expensive?!

I love going to the gym, before I joined I was walking a lot and using dvds but it was all too easy to think ‘I will give it a miss today’, because I pay a gym and pool membership I have to go to get my moneys worth so I go most days, there’s loads of different things to do so it never gets boring, yes there are days where I think I would rather be somewhere else (sat in Costa with a cake) but I still make myself go by reminding myself I’m paying £40 a month and by looking at the resaults in the mirror.

Eating healthy doesn’t cost a fortune, I eat less, meal plan and spend £50 a week on food for 3 or us, I just limit unhealthy snacks but haven’t cut them out (we all need a treat), I eat chicken, fish and a lot of stir fry’s and eat out most weekends.

Healthy snacks can be expensive (like Nakd bars etc) but you make a big batch with the same ingredients that last ages and cost a fraction of the price. I cooked a homemade sweet potato chicken curry last night and it cost £5 to make 3 big portions. Would have cost me about £20 to get a takeaway or about £10 to get 3 ready meal curries