To think your body is the greatest thing you'll ever own and you should invest in it ?

[tiredpom]

Had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. She is overweight and has been told by her GP to lose weight. She is struggling with this, says she can't afford it and simply doesn't have the time.
I work out 6 times a week (yes I know extreme side of the spectrum) But think you should invest in your body as you'll never get another one. I eat healthily 80% of the time and 20% of the time will treat myself. Meals out, wine at weekends etc. I have been trying to help (from afar, don't live in the uk currently) but she has been really snippy with me saying it's easy for you you have the money, the weather and time. My argument is if she has the money (new car, new clothes, meals, trips out) she could prioritise some of that money for gym classes or do them online for free. (You tube) Working out in the heat is just as challenging as the cold (park run in 38 degrees anyone) and time if you have time to go to the movies, shopping malls and watch Netflix you have time to workout. I'm trying to be supportive and send her links to things I think she'd like, but every time she just blames time and money. AIBU to want to shake her and say, how can you not see you have the time and money your just not investing it in your body !!!! That it's her choice not to get better ?

OP, ignore the usual malcontents that all such threads attract.

I think there’s some sense in what you are saying about making sure we look after our bodies and health. I think as parents we are so busy with work and kids and other demands that we can put ourselves at the bottom of the list. How many of us eat on the run while making sure our DCs have healthy meals? How many of us skip things like smear tests because we are so busy with work and looking after everyone else? I make sure my DCs never miss a dentist or doctors appointment but I cannot find time to go for myself. We need to stop this and prioritise our own health as much as we do our DCs.

Thin privilege 😂😂😂
Ffs

I’m the same as you OP, I’m in the gym most days and I try and eat healthy (with the occasional take away at the weekend). Since doing this I have not picked up any illnesses, not so much as a cold, saying that I will probably now be struck down. I’m a strong believer of looking after your body as it needs to look after you for a very long time. I like to think keeping fit and healthy will give me longer with my children.

I haven’t always been fit/slim and healthy so I do know it’s not easy to turn things around but it’s not impossible. Stop buying sugary, fat food and move more. Walk more, take the stairs instead of the lift, walk the school run instead of drive and eat more fruit and veg. I know it’s hard if you have medical conditions, fighting through depression (been there) or just finding the will power.

As a person who has been overweight and lost two stone I now have a weekly struggle, I have to go to the gym at least twice a week or swim and I have to be mindful of what I eat.

I wish it was easy and that I never been overweight but I just don't have the fast metabolism, it only takes a week on holiday or sometime off the gym and the weight starts piling back on, it is an endless battle.

The last thing I would want to hear is somebody who has always been slim lecturing me, even now I am fairly slim with clothes on but underneathi'm a bit blobby but at 47 I think I well I've got to get on with it, I'm never going to be 20 again.

If you want to keep your friend I suggest talking about other things.

I do agree with you in principle however there is nothing more important than our health,

Which is why I'm such an advocate of the NHS being available for all.

Some people simply don't want to take action, they'd rather just moan about it and have people tell them how 'sorry' they are just to avoid an argument.

I've never missed a smear test in my life. My health is every bit as important as the kids.

Some people look after their bodies by not wearing them out at the gym.

You know you can work out 6 times a week and eat healthy all the time and still end up with major health problems like diabetes. Happened to a family member of mine who exercises every day sometimes for several hours, and looks very underweight. They are type 2 diabetic now with no family history.

Your friend knows all the advice, she's just not choosing to live it.

For those who say that working out/ exercising 6 times a week is dull/boring/excessive, what do you fill those 7 or 8 hours with instead?

Exactly pink, I go to the gym for a hour every morning, sometimes I add half an hour swimming if I have time, I do this before I go to work instead of sitting and watching morning tv for an hour. It makes me feel awake and ready for the day. I don’t work out hard, just gentle exercise (half an hour cardio, half an hour weights and stretching). I never find it boring as there’s many different things you can do.

"Thin privilege"
"Exercise ruins your joints so it's best not to"
"Thin people get diabetes too"

I'm this close to fatlogic bingo..

I get where you're coming from OP.

But - I'm closer to your friend than you on a health scale.

I could stand to lose a few pound still and eat and cook very healthily and rarely get takeaways or fast food.

But I don't run nearly as often as I should and am not a fan of the gym.

If your friend has gotten so overweight that the GP says it's an issue then being told that everything has to change NOW is going to be a big big task.

It's shitty if her GP didn't offer advice. Don't some offer free 12 week Slimming World vouchers or something? That's a really positive step and really helps people with bad eating habits learn new ones. (I cook quite a few SW recipes and they're all about lean meant and loads of veg etc.)

Just one not too scary step at a time could help her a lot. Then once she's feeling more confident and in control she might feel up for more exercise etc.

OP - you are brave posting on here about wieght - ill give you that!

In theory, yes, of course it is her best interests to get fit etc, especially if shes been told by a dr to do so, however its not so simply - so many other factors come into play. She really needs to WANT to get fit, healthy etc. It sounds as if shes not ready, which is fair enough. Youve done your part - youve been a good friends and advised where she asked. Leave it now knowing you have done your part - the rest is up to her.

Don't have time to rtft but I imagine you'll get flamed.

I agree and dont understand people who say I can't afford to lose weight. It is cheaper to.eat alot less. You dont need organic produce and expense food you just need less food and smaller portions so anyone can afford to eat less of what they currently buy.

I say this as someone who has last nearly 2 stone so far.

A close friend of mine is a size 22. Has been creeping up from a 16 Over the last 6 years. She whines and complains and does nothing to help herself and wont stop smoking either.

I eventually said I can't do it for you.

It is cheaper to.eat alot less.

For me, it was the time loss, not the money. It takes time to exercise and prepare healthy meals. Totally possible, I lost a significant amount of weight and then my baby weight, but it does require effort.

And I could not have lost my baby weight without such a supportive husband. No way I would have had the energy to exercise and cook healthily if my husband hadn't done his share of everything (actually when I had PND, he worked full time and did all housework because I was on another planet).

Thin privilege - what does that even mean?

Working out 6 days a week isn’t excessive - I train competitively (triathlon) and train up to 2 hours a day, and I have a job, and 2 children. 3-4 hours at weekends. I have a brilliant life - I have met so many friends from it (who all exercise too), travelled round the world with it, and it’s fantastic. However, I am not super human, I am just motivated, don’t want to spend my life sitting watching box sets, and moaning I am overweight. Op, I get you totally! Looks like more people are like your friend though...and get all defensive about it, because unless there are genuine medical reasons for it (which are, in fact, few & far between) they are overweight because they EAT TOO MUCH. You can spend your life being like that if you like, but I know which one i’d rather live.

You are right, OP

As someone who is fat and unfit myself I just wish I had your motivation. I just find it so hard.

OP I get you, but in your shoes I’d have fluffed it and avoided the question. Like everyone says, everyone knows how to lose weight and those that need to but don’t, well... there are all sorts of reasons.

If your friend were nearby you could offer to go running with her, at her pace? But that’s the limit of advice I’d be prepared to give. Not that anyone has ever asked my advice about weight loss. 6 sessions a week seems pretty light to me, but I love training so there you go.

I have two best mates, one goes running, swimming or to the gym before putting in a full day's work, has done in the 25 plus years I've known her, even when she had young kids. I need to lose weight, but it's so obvious that it's my own fault that I really don't need another adult telling me about it. I would be really hurt if she were to go on at me about it.

They love me and don't judge me.

Ps. To those lacking motivation, try three hard days where you drastically reduce your food intake and exercise - once you start to see weight loss it’s much easier to keep it up. Also, I can’t recommend signing up to an event enough - a 5k, a 10k whatever. Setting realistic goals and checking back at your progress all the time to see how well you’re doing really does work.

Good luck to all x

LMFAO

Oh good gods.

I think the problem you have is that, no matter how well intentioned and correct what you say is, until your friend's head is in the right place to tackle this, she won't want to hear what you say. In fact, until her head is in the right place, she will see what you're saying as criticism / smugness / preaching. (As have a lot of people on this thread coincidentally)

In the meantime I think you just have to back off and let her get there herself, then be supportive.

If I could work out what makes that switch flick in a person's head that makes them ready to get fit / lose weight, I'd be s millionaire!!

Cancer doesn't judge