To think your body is the greatest thing you'll ever own and you should invest in it ?

[tiredpom]

Had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. She is overweight and has been told by her GP to lose weight. She is struggling with this, says she can't afford it and simply doesn't have the time.
I work out 6 times a week (yes I know extreme side of the spectrum) But think you should invest in your body as you'll never get another one. I eat healthily 80% of the time and 20% of the time will treat myself. Meals out, wine at weekends etc. I have been trying to help (from afar, don't live in the uk currently) but she has been really snippy with me saying it's easy for you you have the money, the weather and time. My argument is if she has the money (new car, new clothes, meals, trips out) she could prioritise some of that money for gym classes or do them online for free. (You tube) Working out in the heat is just as challenging as the cold (park run in 38 degrees anyone) and time if you have time to go to the movies, shopping malls and watch Netflix you have time to workout. I'm trying to be supportive and send her links to things I think she'd like, but every time she just blames time and money. AIBU to want to shake her and say, how can you not see you have the time and money your just not investing it in your body !!!! That it's her choice not to get better ?

Well Op, I'm sure most self made millionaires think it was just a matter of hard work and eye on the prize. They even write books to help others do the same. But take a check - how many millionaires are there? Are you a millionaire? If you put more effort into it you could be!!

The sentiment of what you are saying is spot on.

However, your OP is totes smug.

There was that program where they looked at people’s physiological age versus actual age and did something like a 12 week plan working on the things that were that person’s main problem.

One was a lady who found herself struggling with cognitive abilities. They put her on an exercise regime and took a measurement of blood flow to the brain before and after. There was a significant increase in blood flow after the 12 weeks of exercise which correlated with improved scores on the cognitive function tests. Was very interesting.

If she’s is at the point where her GP is telling her to lose weight for her health than she would have been given sensible advice and suggested means to do so

I’m sorry but this is rubbish! I was a very overweight young adult which led to medical problems (this is only about 5 years ago) I was told I had to lose weight, I asked if they could help me or give me some advice but they said although I was fat, I wasn’t fat enough for their intervention.

Drs throw around the ‘you have to lose weight’ line all the time and I have rarely heard of anyone being given any advice for this (apart from one friend who was 22+ stone)

In fairness being a self made millionaire is a mixture of drive, determination, getting to know the right people to help you with your success, an element of good luck and the desire to be a millionaire. Some people succeed at it and tell everyone else about it, some will give advice if asked and some will quietly go about their business without anyone being the wiser of their net worth and how they achieved it.

Basically the same as any endeavour including weight loss.

People do not take too kindly to weight loss chats from someone with experience.

In theory yes it is nice to know how it is done but deep down everyone knows it is a case of eat less and move more. By pointing this out (however well intended) you have inadvertently made her feel inferior and lazy.

slow clap for tiredpom, you win at everything

It sounds like you’re trying to help, after being asked for advice. To be asked for advice on how to do something you’re good at then told that you have it easy (despite working hard) is bound to be a little frustrating! However, it sounds like your friend is also frustrated...possibly with her perception of your life, possibly because she believes she needs lots of money to lose weight, possibly even with herself. Weight loss can be a sensitive subject for many, and you need to be in the right frame of mind to do it. That frame of mind can be difficult to achieve - you may be comfortably in a headspace where you prioritise your body and health, but this doesn’t mean your friend can snap herself into it instantly just because she’s been told to.

I’ve been everywhere from underweight to overweight...when overweight, weight loss can feel like an almost insurmountable obstacle! Maintaining weight is easy (for many people), losing weight can feel like a hard slog mentally...especially when you have a long way to go and have only just started.

Could you maybe suggest your friend makes some sustainable changes...just little things to start with like cutting out sugar from hot drinks and not having sweet stuff during the week? Maybe trying to increase her daily steps? Little changes will cause her to lose some weight, and maybe once she’s started it won’t feel like an impossible task to her. I wouldn’t suggest anything that costs any money, as this sounds like a sore point.

I'm with you op. But it sounds like your mate isn't ready to get fit yet - I think you only have one body you may as well look after it. Also I much prefer keeping fit in cold climates not hot - and running is free as are exercises in the home!

If she asked for help then it's not unreasonable of you to share ideas with her, but leave it at that - however i also don't think you should have to listen to her complain, if she doesn't want to do anything about it.
Fwiw, having come from a hot country to a cold one, the hardest bit was not the weather but the darkness, and also the working hours and commutes in the UK.
I used to exercise most mornings, indoor or out. Eating healthily was much easier when I was often hot and just wanted a salad. Now I leave home at 7.30am in the dark and get home at 6.30pm in the dark, see the kids for an hour before bed and then am absolutely exhausted and crave stodge. Can't run part of the way to work as there are no showers there (and can't afford the £99 a month to get the membership for the nearby gym with bathing facilities), running home is scary, and cycling is flat out terrifying. My health has definitely taken a hit, even though I am generally an exercise lover!

Just to give a different perspective...

YANBU and your viewpoint is one I will maintain when booking spa days massages etc. You'll get a bollocking on here though for daring to suggest weight gain/loss is the responsibility of the individual with the issue.

Everyone knows how to lose weight. Everyone. She doesn't need you patronising her, she'll do it if she really wants to.

If she asked you for advice you are not unreasonable to give it.

If she then came up with a lot of excuses, there's not much more you can do.

She's in the hardest place right now - getting going. That first run/walk/gym visit is the hardest. But yes it can be frustrating when people put barriers up when actually they themselves want to be slim/healthy/fit.

Bloody hell
You are getting totally bashed here,
I agree with everything you say
The brigade of fat people who jump down the necks of people who do look after themselves is really quite sad,

I have tried to get to get some of my friends to Join parkrun for years. I eventually told my largest friend - over 24 stone, that he was going to die if he didn’t do something. His would be the first funeral of my contemporary I would attend. It was not a good conversation.

It took another 6 months to get him there, he came on 31 dec 16.

On 31 dec 17 he took me for coffee and thanked me, he said he neve would have changed his life if I hadn’t spoken to him, and then supported him. He didn’t think he could. I would do it all again, I would lose friends over this rather than watch someone slowly kill themselves. It’s called being a friend.

Too many people leave it too late, or need to have a catastrophic health crisis to do something.

you sound very smug OP.

I don’t think ‘working oit’ 6 days a week is actually over doing it.

If you like several different forms of exercise it’s easy to hit every day and still feel like you’re not doing enough!

2x spin classes 2x runs and 2x boxing classes wouldn’t be a crazy amount of exercise to do in a week.

You're right, OP, but it's one of those things that people have to see and decide for themselves.

I understand your frustration though. There are so many things in our lives that we truly cannot control, but weight is not usually one of them.

Anyway I totally agree. We only get one body. We should treat it well with good food, minimal shit going in, exercise, good dental care, good health care, etc etc

OP, I don't know why some posters are being so upset with you. Some posters just auto-react to their own insecurities when they read a post and become hyper defensive, so the only way they can support their upset is to portray you as saying something they haven't and argue against that. Classic Cathy Newman style.

Look, your friend has been told by her GP to lose weight because of some medical issue. She's asked you for advice and how you keep fit, and you have told her. That's all you can do really. You can be frustrated that she doesn't do anything about it and come and post here about your frustration - which is valid, I'd be frustrated too if the health of a friend of mine was in danger if she didn't lose weight, and then I had to watch as she didn't do anything to follow the doctor's instructions. You can challenge her when she makes excuses which do not stack up (the "it's more expensive to eat healthy and exercise" line is a lie disproved again and again, I'm amazed anyone still comes out with it).

But other than that, and showing her what you do and gentle challenges (meal plans and a clear programme have been proved to get results), anything else will make her stick to her guns, and her over eating.

Park runs at 38 degrees, provided you have plenty of water and electrolytes, are a piece of cake compared to park runs at -2

I think if it's 38C degrees outside, it's actually quite dangerous for the average person to go for a run or do anything requiring moderate exertion!

On the other hand -2C would be fine, providing the ground wasn't icy and slippery.

I'm not a runner, but I do love to walk. For me, the most comfortable temperature to walk in is anything between 1C and 15C. If it's above 15 degrees, I get very hot and bothered, especially going uphill, so I have to slow down and take more breaks.

I don't think op is smug - fit, motivated, energetic, taking responsibility for her own health - but Smug? No

I agree. It’s not that hard to work out if you make it a priority and it’s not hard to eat less (well it does take some will power). I say that as someone who had to lose 3.5 stone of baby weight. Starting exercise is the hardest part but I’ve never met anyone who’s not become hooked because it makes you feel so bloody good!

prime example of Thin privilege, right there.

"I can do it, why cant anyone else?"

• Some of us run parkrun in all weathers and have done for years. Some of us could put down the cupcake and do a half marathon today. Some of us pay £200 a month to a personal trainer and are still overweight. Some of us have a resting heart rate of 42 and still have a BMI of 28.

It's not that easy. If it was some of us wouldn't be pulling their damn hair out at having to go up yet another dress size.

However.. I agree with others, she asked for your advice and didn't like the response. You can't control that. Like you can your weight. You are very, very lucky.

SSDGM
prime example of Thin privilege, right there

Thin privilege?