To think I'm not starving my wedding guests.

[MBlaze]

Helpful Mumsnetters, please let me know if this is enough food for a wedding. I think it's more than enough, but DP thinks we need to add more food!

Timings are approximate...

2pm - Ceremony
3pm-5pm - Crepe or ice cream van, canapes (3 each) and drinks
6pm - 3 Course dinner (Vegan and Gluten-free options so nobody should go hungry.)
7ish? - Cake after dinner
9pm - Cheese board with bread, crackers, grapes, figs etc

Surely that's enough food considering the ceremony is at 2 and people can have breakfast beforehand?

DP thinks we should provide more than a cheeseboard after dinner and should hire a fish and chip/burrito van or ask the caterers for something more substantial. We aren't having any evening only guests, so I really don't think people will need another meal 3 hours after a 3 course meal.

What do you think?

I would probably have something like the fish and chip cones (though not for veggie/vegan/gluten free depending on batter) at the drinks reception. Then I'd scrap the dinner and have a massive ongoing buffet with hot items brought out at the start and cold items/cake left out for later grazing.

I love this one. 'What I would do, OP, is have a completely different wedding entirely.'

Margaret - me too

I honestly don't get how that isn't enough food? We had ceremony at half one,arrived at hotel to cookies,pies,scones,punch and tea/coffee. Then full works sit down meal at 5,8pm a buffet of goujons,cocktail sausages and selections of sandwiches,cake,tea/coffee. People were more than full. I'd say you have more than enough altho maybe change the cheeseboard idea as with drinks flowing all day some people need a bit of substantial soakage😂😂😂 best of luck on the big day btw

I would probably have something like the fish and chip cones (though not for veggie/vegan/gluten free depending on batter) at the drinks reception. Then I'd scrap the dinner and have a massive ongoing buffet with hot items brought out at the start and cold items/cake left out for later grazing.

What I would do OP is have your wedding at 3 am and provide everyone with a cup of Night Nurse as an aperitif with a cone of fish and chips (for people who cannot eat fish and chips unless it is in a cone. Cones of rice and tahini for vegans)

Followed up by a running breakfast buffet for 17,000 people at 7.30 am.

Brunch surprise at 11 am ( a whole roast buffalo and a stuffed porpoise with salads and sides, corn on the cob for vegans all served in cones)

Then send everyone home with (cone shaped) party bag containing a massive sausage roll, a baguette, a boiled trout and a pipe filled with tobacco (filled with coconut for kids and vegans).

Don't be surprised if you still get people complaining there weren't enough cones of fish and chips.

Kurri

Thank you, kurri - but make sure you don’t forget the cones of fish and chips

2pm - Ceremony
3pm-5pm - Crepe or ice cream van, canapes (3 each) and drinks
6pm............

I think that because people will leave for the wedding at about 1pm or earlier (maybe after a rushed lunch, or no lunch owing to the journey),
people will have had very little between 1pm - 6pm - 5hrs some ice cream or a crepe and 3 canapes (if you manage to grab one as it goes past) is half sickly and half too little. I think you need at least 6 savoury canapes each.
.

But Kind, haven't you seen all the comments just slightly upthread, about how these guests are adults who can plan their timings and lunch so that they don't arrive at the wedding not having eaten. An early lunch is perfectly possible for most sensible adults, or grabbing a sandwich from a petrol station on the way is also possible. There is absolutely no reason why anyone will need to be ravenous through the afternoon - they can sort out lunch for themselves and before they know it, they will be getting substantial snacks mid afternoon, which presumably most people don't need or have on a daily basis, followed by an early big dinner.

To be honest, the constant offering of food at weddings is getting ridiculous. Previously you were given one decent meal and possibly an evening buffet. People were able to get through an afternoon without constant food. Occasionally there was wedding cake after the service - well OP is offering that, plus more in what can only be described as a mid afternoon snack - it isn't intended to be and shouldn't need to be a full scale meal.

And yes I'm laughing at all the alternative food options people have offered - cones of fish and chips. The OP didn't ask what would be your ideal wedding menu, simply whether there was enough food. Guests understand the OP has chosen the menu and only a really miserable person spends their time saying 'they should have given us cones of fish and chips instead'.

And yes I'm laughing at all the alternative food options people have offered - cones of fish and chips. The OP didn't ask what would be your ideal wedding menu, simply whether there was enough food. Guests understand the OP has chosen the menu and only a really miserable person spends their time saying 'they should have given us cones of fish and chips instead'.

... Fish and chips is one of the alternatives suggested by the venue.

I think we should all go to Kurri's cone party Night Nurse and stuffed porpoises plus a morning run, it sure will be unique!

I got married at 3pm and some people hadn't had lunch. You can't allow for that! Though 3 canapés each is not enough, I'd do more canapés and ditch the sweet stuff. Crepes and ice creams are too messy for guests with posh togs on.

We had 116 guests who polished off 1000 canapés. Just saying.

Yes, you can't allow for grown adults turning up at a wedding and not having eaten. What you can do is to give some info about when the
meal will be or even the timings if the day, so people can plan ahead and eat accordingly beforehand. I think Brides can reasonably expect their guests to do this and not to feel or be responsible for some numpties who don't eat before a 2 or 3pm wedding, if they've been told the meal will be At 5 or 6.

Mid afternoon snacks are intended to be just that - snacks, not a meal. They do t have to be hugely substantial. The reality is that people will eat 3 canapés if they are provided, or 10 if they are provided. People will eat what's going at that point in the day. If they've eaten lunch, the fact they've had a crepe and 3 canapés mid afternoon won't leave them famished.

Why would anyone who has eaten lunch before a wedding be starving hungry at any point mid afternoon? Don't we all usually eat lunch and then have an evening meal.....in the evening. I cannot understand why anyone thinks guests are starving by 3 or 4pm, or why a few snacks isn't more than is actaually needed in hunger terms? Again, if they failed to eat lunch, then that's really not OPs fault when a wedding starts at 2pm and if the timings of food are made clear. Bizarre idea that everyone is ready to gnaw the arms off their fellow guests by 4pm.

How do the people who say to let the guests know food timings think this should be done? I ask because I've never been told this in advance of a wedding, and I think if I got an invitation saying 'wedding at 2, dinner at 6' I might think I was supposed to not be there between those times?

Margaret, often people include an info sheet that they have made with wedding invitations. It includes stuff like places they can stay, sometimes where they might get lunch beforehand, tax numbers, sometimes info about a gift list. They also often provide info about when the main meal will be or rough timings of the day - these can help people think ahead, especially if they are bringing small children and will need to leave a bit early.

Sometimes this info is in the form of a letter. 'We are so looking forward to seeing you at our wedding....' Other times it's just an info sheet.

To be honest, I've rarely had a wedding invitation without an info sheet and I've been to over 80 weddings. Many of these have been a distance away, so that info about possible places to stay etc is really useful. Most people have some guests coming from a distance, so the info, including timings can be included for all.n

Thanks, chocolate - to be clear it was a genuine question, not a snarky one! I've seen lots of info sheets with hotels and taxis but never with meal timings. Perhaps this is because most of the weddings (20 in the last three years!) I've been to have been either explicitly child free or just happened not to have had many guests with children - we're early 30s and seem to be having the first big wave of child-bearing now. Anyway, for whatever reason, I've never seen anyone include timings beyond 'reception starts at X and ends at Y', so I just wondering how it was done.

So, a schedule included with a wedding invitation might look like this;

• 2pm - marriage service
• 3pm - photographs and travel to reception
• 4pm - arrival drinks and wedding cake and photographs
• 6pm - dinner and speeches
• 8.30pm - disco/barn dance
• 9.30pm - evening buffet

Someone can see that they will get cake at 4pm and dinner at 6pm. They can see that they need to eat lunch before the wedding. As well as B and Bs to stay in, cafes for a quick lunch/places to get a sandwich might also be mentioned.

I've also found that some wedding invitations even include a menu now and sometimes give choices which you have to select in advance.

I guess that people have found guests sometimes struggle with a long day of uncertain timings and so give them info in advance.

I do t think there's any need for a detailed timetable, but the time of the dinner is useful to know.

3 canapés each isn't enough imo and I agree with your dp about adding to the cheese board. Or get rid of the cheese altogether and have what your dp suggested.

A 2pm wedding means that with travel and preparation time most guests won't of had any lunch. And someone suggested people could eat a sandwich in the car on route but I certainly wouldn't be eating snacks in the car on the way. But I'm then a messy cow that would drop stuff all over my outfit.

You sound thoughtful op I hope you have a fab day.

Thanks, that makes sense, but I've just never seen it done. I also wonder how well those schedules get adhered to - I've been to lots of weddings where the timings got a bit off-course (including my own!)! The menu thing, on the other hand, has been approaching standard for the weddings I've been to. I guess these things differ group by group as people see what others do, and maybe also regionally?

I've been to a wedding with half this amount of food and it started earlier. It was fine. The majority didn't bother with the cheeseboard and I the cake was completely forgotten on the day!

You're absolutely right that timings usually go awry and things run over. I think anyone sensible makes clear its rough timings and I think generally guests are having a good time and do t notice or care too much when things run over - it's just that idea of having a rough sense of it.

Likewise, people sometimes like to know a rough time Bride and Groom are leaving - beause then they can book taxis to leave themselves etc, or if necessary decide they will go before that point, but not in the middle of bride and groom leaving.

To be honest, I'm not bothered whether I'm told this info in advance or not. I know weddings can be lomg days and will always feed myself well before getting to one. I always have a snack in my bag, just in case. And I just go with the flow and enjoy what's on offer and being with friends or family. I've been to so many weddings that have varied so much and I can say I've enjoyed being part of the all, because they've been happy occasions with friends and family. I cannot remember most of the food arrangements that existed or what we ate and when and I can't remember coming away and moaning about any of them.
What kind of person does, in reality?

OP, your plans sound great. You are evidently going out of your way to make sure everyone has a lovely day, and it's loads of food. Who in real life starts troughing half an hour after a three-course dinner? I bet you don't half wish you'd never asked for advice. And I bet you will never again eat fish and chips (either in or out of a blasted cone - wtf is that all about?) as long as you live.

Who in real life starts troughing half an hour after a three-course dinner?

Do you have teenage boys? 😂

Ha ha. Yes, I do, Cushioncovers. And planning a wedding for a horde of teenage boys would require about 1,000 loaves of sliced white bread for starters...

It is eating too little while drinking that ends up being unpleasant, leading to grumpiness and headaches. I agree about not having the ice cream but having more canapes.

As for timings, how far have people have had to come & getting dressed up does mean that in practice people may have not eaten for a while - adult or not.

A light hearted view about canapes:
www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/features/five-ways-avoid-canape-catastrophe-weddings/

The main thing is that you have a lovely day which it is bound to be one way or another. Good luck with it all.