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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not starving my wedding guests.

450 replies

MBlaze · 24/01/2018 20:04

Helpful Mumsnetters, please let me know if this is enough food for a wedding. I think it's more than enough, but DP thinks we need to add more food!

Timings are approximate...

2pm - Ceremony
3pm-5pm - Crepe or ice cream van, canapes (3 each) and drinks
6pm - 3 Course dinner (Vegan and Gluten-free options so nobody should go hungry.)
7ish? - Cake after dinner
9pm - Cheese board with bread, crackers, grapes, figs etc

Surely that's enough food considering the ceremony is at 2 and people can have breakfast beforehand?

DP thinks we should provide more than a cheeseboard after dinner and should hire a fish and chip/burrito van or ask the caterers for something more substantial. We aren't having any evening only guests, so I really don't think people will need another meal 3 hours after a 3 course meal.

What do you think?

OP posts:
snowone · 25/01/2018 22:28

Now I do love a cheeseboard but I get horrendous indigestion afterwards (especially when drunk) so my personal preference would be fish and chip cones! But it's your wedding and you should darn well do as you please. Have a fabulous day Wine

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 25/01/2018 22:30

Why would people be 'looking for food'

crepes-chips-ice cream-canapés at 3-5
5 Main meal would last at least 2 hours with speeches

Cake 7

Cheese board later

I don't get it.

Maireadplastic · 25/01/2018 22:40

Everyone gets their hair done for everything now, Ivegotpompoms. What none of us are, is starving! Ridiculous.

pollymere · 25/01/2018 22:56

You need to warn guests that wedding breakfast will be at six. Diabetics for example will need to know to eat beforehand. I'd have expected to eat around three or four.

I've seen food go to waste in the evening but maybe a little more than cheese and biscuits would be good. Even just some snacky things and dips.

chachaboom · 25/01/2018 22:57

No to ice cream van. Actual food. Or booze. Preferably both.

Uterusuterusgarlic · 25/01/2018 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DreamyMcDreamy · 25/01/2018 23:14

Haven't read the whole thing but I echo the poster above who said please don't change your timings on the say so of a bunch of mumsnet randoms (especially as very few people on mumsnet seem to enjoy going to weddings for some bizarre reason or other).

This, don't change your timings! Go with what's best for you.I was only saying go with a substantial food option for the evening such as the chip cones as people who have been drinking throughout the day will fall on those options and be the best bet in my opinion and experiences.

Aridane · 25/01/2018 23:16

More fucking fish and chip cones. What are they - a magic elixir? And now a hog roast Grin

DreamyMcDreamy · 25/01/2018 23:20

Why would people be 'looking for food'crepes-chips-ice cream-canapés at 3-5 5 Main meal would last at least 2 hours with speechesCake 7Cheese board laterI don't get it.

I can see both sides. It does sound a lot of food, but nobody's really getting anything but nibbles until 5pm when they have the meal.
I obviously no idea what the OP wedding menu is like, but if it's anything like a memorable one we went to the meal was posh three course but basically soup and vegetables. Fruit for main course. Wine and champagne throughout the day.
Come the buffet at 8 people were falling over themselves for some "proper" food and the chips practically got inhaled in the first few seconds of them being put out in their dainty little cones.

iBiscuit · 25/01/2018 23:27

Crepes and fucking ice cream are not mere nibbles!

inchoccyheaven · 25/01/2018 23:32

We got married a week ago with ceremony at 4 followed by drinks until 5.30 when we had a buffet instead of wedding breakfast. We then had the cake cut and left for people to help themselves after 8pm as well as a chocolate fountain and sweetie cart. People took cake home as were stuffed from buffet and sweets etc. Definitely didn't need more food in the evening and my dw and I didn't eat that much as was too excited the whole day.

CotswoldStrife · 25/01/2018 23:45

I have been trying to keep up with reading this thread.

I see that you have decided against the crepe van, which is a good thing - there is no way it would have fed everyone once, never mind saying they could have 2 or 3 if they wished, unfortunately.

Is your wedding in the same venue as your reception, and they suggested that gap between the ceremony and the main meal? It does seem a long time to me, tbh, but I'm not an expert in modern weddings! I hope you have a lovely day.

starlight13 · 25/01/2018 23:54

This sounds perfect OP. You are having the ceremony at 2pm so everyone would have had lunch to keep them going easily until 5pm. Then they have a 3 course meal at 6pm so to have food in the evening as well is more than enough.
Who eats a meal in the evening and then more food another 2 hours later anyway? I would however provide a dessert io cake - people expect a dessert and to have the cake later with tea or to take home.

BadLad · 26/01/2018 00:21

It's plenty of food. When we got married, the guests all shared a cup of warm wee and a wagon wheel, and everybody said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to.

DrCoconut · 26/01/2018 01:14

I would probably have something like the fish and chip cones (though not for veggie/vegan/gluten free depending on batter) at the drinks reception. Then I'd scrap the dinner and have a massive ongoing buffet with hot items brought out at the start and cold items/cake left out for later grazing. We did this and it worked really well. People can eat as they wish all evening and are not starving in the afternoon either.

DreamyMcDreamy · 26/01/2018 01:18

It's plenty of food. When we got married, the guests all shared a cup of warm wee and a wagon wheel,

A cup of warm wee?! Confused

WannabeGilmoreGirl · 26/01/2018 02:03

Love the new timings. I think it works much better.

Enjoy your day.

FitzChivalry · 26/01/2018 05:40

6pm is a normal time to eat a meal. And as for all this you haven't got time before a 2pm wedding for lunch, are you telling me you can't eat a sandwich at any time between 12 - 1.30? Good grief.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/01/2018 07:31

" And as for all this you haven't got time before a 2pm wedding for lunch, are you telling me you can't eat a sandwich at any time between 12 - 1.30? Good grief."

Yes, it's rubbish. You take a packed lunch or you buy a ready-made sandwich from a shop/train station or whatever.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/01/2018 07:35

"People haven't got time for lunch because they're getting their hair done. The world has gone mad."

If someone is at the hairdresser's then they're probably in town so can easily buy a ready-made sandwich even if they don't have time to cook or have a packed lunch.

JackmanAdmirer · 26/01/2018 07:42

Don't most people generally eat lunch at 1ish and dinner at 6ish?

I'd expect people to eat before the wedding and then have a 3 course dinner... you've even got more food than that.

IMO it's more than enough.
Surprised at people saying it's not.

maddiemookins16mum · 26/01/2018 08:43

Only on MN do grown adults need feeding at weddings every 90 minutes or (by their own admission) they'd be starving and have to leave early.
A wedding at 2pm followed by food of any kind, be it canapes or lovely sounding crepes, then a massive (again lovely sounding big meal) with cake and then cheese a bit later is plenty enough food. Some people just sound greedy.
Don't people survive up to 3 hours at work, on a conference, in the Theatre, on a flight etc etc, without food - course they do.
Your wedding food sounds lovely Op, don't change a single thing.

ChocolateWombat · 26/01/2018 08:46

People seem to think all guests are extremely delicate and don't have any common sense. That they couldn't manage to make/get a sandwich and eat it sometimes before 2pm, and that they need to be fed a substantial meal every 10 minutes. It's ridiculous.

If the OP was having a 10 hour wedding starting at 11 and only providing a piece of cake at 6pm, I could understand the complaints, but her original timings allowed people to have lunch and to then be fed 3 or 4 times before the end of the party - far more than most would eat in a day.

Already, the food at this wedding sounds like a real treat for guests. The only conclusion I can draw about people's complaints is that they have zero imagination about how to organise eating before 2pm, and see a wedding as an opportunity for excessive greed and are only going for huge amounts of food and drink - not for any concern for the bride and groom. How odd. The only other thing I can think of, is that people posting don't get out much - they don't have much experience of being a bit flexible about when you eat, or coping wih being offered things which might not be their top preference.

Don't normal adults receive an invitation to a special day of friends or family and feel pleased to be invited, come up with a plan for managing their day and then go and enjoy the hospitality offered to them and have a good time? People who can't do this seem very self obsessed and demanding to me, and I would be disappointed if my circle of friends was made up of these types.

SchrodingersFrilledLizard · 26/01/2018 11:36

A cup of warm wee?!

Yes. Tepid wee is not alliterative.

Ishouldntbesolucky · 26/01/2018 12:58

Wombat I couldn't agree more.