To think I'm not starving my wedding guests.

[MBlaze]

Helpful Mumsnetters, please let me know if this is enough food for a wedding. I think it's more than enough, but DP thinks we need to add more food!

Timings are approximate...

2pm - Ceremony
3pm-5pm - Crepe or ice cream van, canapes (3 each) and drinks
6pm - 3 Course dinner (Vegan and Gluten-free options so nobody should go hungry.)
7ish? - Cake after dinner
9pm - Cheese board with bread, crackers, grapes, figs etc

Surely that's enough food considering the ceremony is at 2 and people can have breakfast beforehand?

DP thinks we should provide more than a cheeseboard after dinner and should hire a fish and chip/burrito van or ask the caterers for something more substantial. We aren't having any evening only guests, so I really don't think people will need another meal 3 hours after a 3 course meal.

What do you think?

It seems a bit strange to me that none of your meals are really at meal times! For me it's enough food but the timings seem a bit weird - especially two hours hanging around before sitting down for a meal.

It might be a better idea to get married at 3, have the drinks reception 3.30ish-5ish, dinner at 5.30, evening snacks at 9pm?

Yes. I think that is better. And no ice-cream before dinner!

Where is lunch? If the 'wedding breakfast' isn't until dinner time an ice cream isn't gonna cut it for me. I agree with your DP. Can't you make dinner a bit earlier?

Seems like too much food if anything. The OP said that most of her guests are local, the ceremony is at 2pm and everyone is invited for the whole event. Knowing that the ceremony is at 2pm surely everyone will eat lunch before they come. Why wouldn't they? Lunch is around about midday to me, not at 3ish. In an ordinary day I'd eat lunch and an evening meal only, with dancing or other physical activity then extra snacks would be welcome which the OP is providing.

The only thing I'd be concerned about with this menu is that guests eat too much in the early afternoon and then aren't hungry for their main meal, waste food then and are too hungry for the cheese board.

We got married at 5 and had a big buffet for our evening party (at 7ish I think), no other food provided. Everyone seemed happy. What is wrong with providing one meal at around about the time when people expect to eat normally?

Hi all, I know people probably haven't read all 15(!!) pages so I thought I would put all the points together

After looking at everyone's comments, we will most likely change the timing of the day: ceremony at 3, drinks reception 3.30-5ish, dinner, evening snacks at 9.

Will most likely stick with the cheeseboard for the evening snack, or have pizza, or chips.

Will also most likely change the food at the drinks reception to afternoon tea, as having a crepe van to serve 100 will be slow. (still surprised so many people hate crepes though! )

There WILL be gluten free, vegan, egg free, nut free etc options at all meals!! I am gluten free myself, and my partner is veggie so we are well aware that at usual weddings people with dietary requirements don't often have food options. There will also be soft drinks provided for those that do not drink alcohol.

Other than that, we can't really do much else to keep people happy. As this thread demonstrates, you can't please everyone

Thank you for all the input though - I do very much appreciate it and I would hate for my guests to leave my wedding feeling hungry or like we hadn't given them any thought!

I think it sounds fine until the cheeseboard. Cheese is revolting and I'd be a bit miffed if the only option was cheese

Surely you know you're very much in the minority, though? There's a reason cheese boards are a thing and it's that most people like them.

Personally I don't like chips but I wouldn't be 'miffed' if they were served at a wedding because I know I'm not the only guest and therefore that it isn't designed entirely around me.'

I've met a lot of people who don't like cheese. It's not that uncommon.

I didn't say I would be miffed if cheese was served I said I would be miffed if cheese were the only thing served. As I'm sure you would be if only chips were offered
I also didn't suggest that I thought a wedding should be planned around me and my dislike of taste so don't put words in my mouth for me thanks.

Sounds much more bearable OP.

1.5 hours for the reception will cut down the amount of canapés you need.

What are your plans for the 3-5 bit? Standing Round chatting whilst photos happen? I would say this is where there should be something more substantial to eat (maybe crepes could be sweet or savoury?). But still needs to be eaten on the go if people aren’t seated at that point.
I would say after the evening meal (it’s quite late too) I don’t think people would eat too much, & personally I’d be happy with a cheese board but if you don’t like cheese then obviously they wouldn’t eat anything. I went to a wedding recently where the evening food was a cheese on toast or sausage baps with the wedding cake cut up. This wouldnt have been my choice (we had a buffet) but it wasn’t my wedding so not my choice & they provided a veggie & a meat so catered for majority.
With canapés I thought they are quite pricy & if people are getting hungry they may take more than 3?
I think you have enough food though maybe just juggle it round.
Have a good day xx

Ninon - glad to hear my wedding will be "bearable"

Just saw your update, new timings & ideas sound good x

I meant it in a nice way

I think it will save you money not to have to provide endless food and alcohol at a long reception.

Ninon - Don't worry I didn't take any offence . Saving some money on food and alcohol would definitely be a good shout.

I really like your new timings, op

I think the original sounded fine.
If there's a wedding at 2, you expect to eat lunch before it. If necessary, include timings if the day, so no one is in any doubt.

If people have had lunch (and that's their responsibility - it's not hard to buy a sandwich before the wedding) then most people can survive until an early evening meal. In fact you're not even asking them to survive before snacks are provided in the afternoon too.

If you have provided an evening meal, then actually, again no one will starve whatever or if anything is offers later. Who of us eat a full meal and then need another meal just a couple of hours later?

As wedding host you do need to feed people, but you don't need to allow them to stuff their faces constantly all day.

People are not so delicate as to not be able to manage a couple of hours without food and really do need to take responsibility for feeding three selves before an afternoon wedding - as I say, you can make that clear by either giving full timings if the day or just saying evening meal will be at 6. Even people travelling can grab a sandwich....and who needs loads more than that if they are having an evening meal.

Change the timings if you want OP, but your original plan was fine. And cheese and biscuits or whatever is fine too. People will have had a big meal probably an hour or so before, nothing huge is needed. Cheeses and biscuits is buffet style food. You don't need a table to eat it and once you've loaded your plate you don't need cutlery. It's a good option for a party.

It all sounds great - if you like the sound of it, go for it. It would be a miserable guest to moan about this offering.

Loving the new timings OP

OP, please don't push your ceremony back on the say so of a bunch of MN randoms who claim to be unable to occupy themselves for a few hours despite there being food and games available and them knowing (and presumably enjoying socialising with) most of their fellow guests.

Your wedding day will fly by. Don't make it shorter than it has to be.

Does everyone live close enough to have a good lunch between 12noon and the ceremony? Perhaps they are all staying at the venue? It seems to be normal to make guests starve for the interminable (3+hr) standing around between wedding and reception, but that doesn't make it good.

You are providing vegan food at 6, so what are vegans and dairy-free people having at 3 and 9? Is the cake vegan?
If you know or think you have guests with these needs they are going to have those same needs for the whole event.

Is it in town, where they can pop out for a takeaway? I have had to do this at a wedding I was told would have dairy-free for us, when the caterers knew nothing about it. It left a bad feeling tbh. At another wedding the same happened, there was nowhere to go, so having starved for about 7 hours we just left, freezing and shaky. It felt great to be so valued, and no, I haven't forgotten how important me and DS were to those people who casually lied to us, or forgot.

op, your revised plan sounds fabulous. You are also being very gracious considering some of the comments directed your way.

I wish you and your fiance a long and happy life together.

At the end of the day do what suits you. It's your day and you're never going to please everyone. We got married at 3pm and,for me, it was a great time. I don't know how people getting married at 12pm cope. I booked 3pm hoping to have a lie in/relaxing morning but everything still started early! Hairdresser's at 10am, make up at 12pm, an hour drive to the place we were getting married and then photos from 2pm. We had a sit down 3 course meal at 5pm and then I booked a hot buffet at 9pm (it was hardly touched-and it was a really good spread but everyone was still full from the meal).

God - don;t start panicking and changing all your arrangements - it is all fine, this is MN, a crazy place - most people don't eat their own weight in food at weddings. You are providing a 3 course meal and more - that's plenty.

I'd still got with this ^^ OP

It's spot on imo.

*go

My wedding caterer told me that the biggest waste of money is bacon rolls in the evening. He said whenever he provides them, 80% get thrown away.

Evening sounds more than enough - three course dinner is enough surely if anyone wants to be able to fit any drinks in / be able to move if they are going to make it to the dance floor, so rest is a bonus. Just not sure a crepe is enough to see you to that point if you’ve travelled and not eaten.

It's not the amount of food it's the timings. If I was going to a wedding at two I would probably miss lunch due to getting ready and getting my hair done and I would be starving. I am not a fan of crepes or ice cream so 3 canapés would be no use to me. What about mini fish and chips and ice cream van on arrival and then have the canapés in the evening when people really aren't hungry but just wanting a nibble?

Your best bet is to speak to your wedding planner. They do this all the time and will advise you on timings. It's your day do what you want. If people are hungry they can go and buy snacks at the bar or learn a life lesson to eat before you go. It's not your fault if they haven't had lunch for x, y or z reason and they won't be coming to moan at you if they haven't. God I'm a miserable cow but some of the planning of mine was a nightmare so don't worry about others who are celebrating your love for one another. Just make sure you have enough time after the ceremony and before the meal for photographs. We cut it fine but it obviously depends on the numbers of photos you want taken.