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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick of all the man/boy hate.

710 replies

churchoflego · 24/01/2018 09:55

What the hell is going on? Men are not the devil. Boys are not the devil. I have sons and all I read is how as white males they are basically considered the spawn of satan. When did males become the enemy? Surely there are good and bad individuals who happen to be male or female?

I was horribly bullied at school by females and again at work by females, however, I don't consider all females to be evil. They were horrible individuals who happened to be female.

It's really depressing and scary.

OP posts:
BattleCuntGalactica · 27/01/2018 11:38

Oh wow this is still going!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 27/01/2018 14:10

Well it appeared to have gone quiet as of yesterday

But now youve posted

And i have as well

So yeah...its still going

BertrandRussell · 27/01/2018 14:40

“Oh wow this is still going!”

Is what still going? Misogyny? Yep.

BattleCuntGalactica · 27/01/2018 16:03

@BertrandRussell did I ever imply misogyny ever stopped? We both know that without absolute matriarchy, that's unlikely to happen.

mrsmrsmrsmrsmrs · 27/01/2018 16:43

FFS! I have also mentioned boys being brought up badly - why have you not read that?!!

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2018 16:56

mrsmrsmrs

I have. I agree with you - we need to raise boys not to be violent.

I still don’t see how me not raising my daughter as a princess will have any impact on male violence.

mrsmrsmrsmrsmrs · 27/01/2018 17:54

pumper so that boys and girls can be raised more equally - how do you advocate the raising of boys then if you think it is OK to raise daughters as princesses (and by "princess" I mean entitled etc as already mentioned).

They should all be shown to treat all others with respect so that they can understand that everyone is different and stereotypes are ridiculous.

I merely wanted to share what I am see, not what I condone and that it should make us question how we rear our children

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2018 18:06

mrsmrsmrs

The reason people are reluctant to raise their daughters as princesses, or spoiled, is because it’s unpleasant. The reason we shouldn’t force our children into strict gender roles is that it limits their potential. It makes them think ‘I’m a girl, so I can’t do this’. The reason we shouldn’t raise boys to think with their fists is because it makes them think violence is the answer.

But the two don’t overlap. Me raising my son not to be violent has absolutely no bearing on how spoiled my daughter is. My daughter not being a spoiled princess doesn’t make her immune to male violence. You are making two separate points.

As a PP pointed out to you, spoiled girls are not in the same league as violent boys. By suggesting they are, it’s like you want to pretend that they have equal responsibility for male violence. They don’t.

I don’t know what you mean by ‘how do you advocate the raising of boys’ so I can’t answer that, I’m afraid.

mrsmrsmrsmrsmrs · 27/01/2018 18:18

Then I cannot get you to see that how we bring up our children is directly related

the two are inter-linked

I didn't say that spoiled girls are in the same league as violent boys - I am saying that they are being brought up as polar opposites of each other - they are being given different values to aim for and being stereotyped

Surely, you agree that nurturing respect between the sexes will help lessen violence from men against women?

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2018 18:26

Surely, you agree that nurturing respect between the sexes will help lessen violence from men against women?

I’m afraid I don’t. I think the only way to stop male violence is if all men and boys have respect for all girls and women. I don’t think telling girls to have more respect for boys will make a difference. It’s dangerously close to ‘try not to be annoying or you’ll deserve what’s happening to you’.

I don’t think that girls and boys have equal responsibility for male violence. I don’t think men and women have equal responsibility for male violence.

I’m not really sure why anyone would think they do.

mrsmrsmrsmrsmrs · 27/01/2018 18:31

respect has to come from both sides ...

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2018 18:41

mrsmrsmrs

So if girls respected boys more there would be less male violence? Do you honestly believe that?

bakedappleflavour · 27/01/2018 18:41

Wow you can't seriously believe that male violence is down to women being "entitled". Jesus.

FrancinePefko · 27/01/2018 18:49

Why is the term "men as a class" is acceptable when "Jews as a class" would rightly be considered antisemitic?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 27/01/2018 18:50

Luckily we say man as a class and women as a class

So its nice and even and fair

FrancinePefko · 27/01/2018 18:56

But that doesn't answer the question, would it be acceptable for example to say "Black youths" as a class?

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2018 18:57

What’s your opinion on male violence, Francine?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 27/01/2018 18:58

I dont know

I have only ever seen it as men and women

It seems accepted in feminist theory

No idea about religion

Idontdowindows · 27/01/2018 18:59

Francine, do you know what class is?

Lizzie48 · 27/01/2018 19:03

Girls are being encouraged to dress up as princesses, and have princess parties, that's certainly true. It's a stereotype that needs to be challenged, that's for sure. My DDs love pretending to be princesses. And I guess that can lead to some girls becoming entitled in their attitudes.

But I don't see what it has to do with male violence, it's irrelevant and it does sound like blaming girls for provoking boys into becoming aggressive towards them. Male violence can't be excused by anything women and girls do.

FrancinePefko · 27/01/2018 19:04

@pumper

What’s your opinion on male violence?
It's despicable.

Could you now please answer my question?
Why is it acceptable to say men as a class when it would not be acceptable to say brown skinned taxi drivers as a class?

BertrandRussell · 27/01/2018 19:06

Well, if there was something that over 90% of was done by brown skinned taxi drivers........

FrancinePefko · 27/01/2018 19:07

@Idontdowindows

do you know what class is?
I'm not sure I do in this context. I take it to mean the group overall based on statistics. Is that not correct?

KOKOagainandagain · 27/01/2018 19:07

POWER POWER POWER

Forgive me shouting.

You cannot discuss gender in the absence of an understanding of the social power context.

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2018 19:08

Could you now please answer my question?
Why is it acceptable to say men as a class when it would not be acceptable to say brown skinned taxi drivers as a class?

It’s been answered about fifteen times on this thread already, everyone has different opinions on it. I think if ‘brown skinned taxi drivers’ were killing 113 women a year and committing 98% of sexual crimes, I’d be happy to use that fact as a way of opening a discussion on how we could stop that, and the reasons why that fact exsists.

You say ‘despicable’ - yet your contribution to this thread was to ignore the fact that 113 women were killed by men in 2016, that 78% of violent crimes were committed by men, that 98% of sex crimes were committed by men. Why is using ‘men as a class’ worthy of comment by you, but not the totally horrific facts we have on male violence?

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