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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be sick of all the man/boy hate.

710 replies

churchoflego · 24/01/2018 09:55

What the hell is going on? Men are not the devil. Boys are not the devil. I have sons and all I read is how as white males they are basically considered the spawn of satan. When did males become the enemy? Surely there are good and bad individuals who happen to be male or female?

I was horribly bullied at school by females and again at work by females, however, I don't consider all females to be evil. They were horrible individuals who happened to be female.

It's really depressing and scary.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 09:02

I will put any money you like on the fact that

A cornish pasty has more rights then a woman

Was just a throwaway comment and not an argument

Grin
changeAtAnyTime · 25/01/2018 09:02

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changeAtAnyTime · 25/01/2018 09:05

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corythatwas · 25/01/2018 09:15

"Why does your daughter have to be on her watch but not your son?"

Well funnily enough, no adult woman has ever threatened to stay behind and rape my teenage son when he comes out from somewhere late at night because they were dissatisfied with his performance of his daily duties.

He has attended countless sleepovers without any woman trying to force herself on him when he was asleep.

He has never had a girl threaten to rape him when he said he didn't want to sleep with her.

He has been able to take part in job interviews and leisure activities with older people without being groped by middle-aged women.

As a 13yo child he was able to walk down the road without gangs of grown women commenting loudly on the size of his balls.

He has not been followed down the road late at night by adult women

The only risk that is equal to both of them is mugging and general assault. I admit that is a risk. But my daughter faces that risk on top of the risks of sexual violence, sexual assault, and sexual harassment.

And - this is the bit I think am vital- the number of people prepared to mug or assault a random stranger in the street is infinitely smaller than the number of people who will quite happily push their hands into the groin of a young adolescent girl or threaten her with sexual violence.

The fact that judges will still, even in this day and age, comment on an female assault victim's whereabouts and general ability to look after herself, while the same will not be said about a victim of mugging, shows that society still thinks that sexual violence against women is something women ought to factor into their everyday planning. We don't think that way with men.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 09:15

change

I will tell you what

I havent seen that comment in context

But if you wouldn't mine linking to the thread concerned i will have an open mind and look at it

They may well have been comparing the whole 'cornish pasty has to be from cornwall etc) bit in which case it might not be a throwaway comment as such

If i dont get back to you today I definitely will tomorrow

corythatwas · 25/01/2018 09:16

And in case you ask, yes all those things above have happened to my daughter. Which does not surprise me in the least. Those, or similar things, happened to me. They happen to many, many women.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 09:17

And I completely agree with corys last post

Pumperthepumper · 25/01/2018 09:21

Why does your daughter have to be on her watch but not your son? I pity your son having a mother with your attitude. Of course, statistically, she needs to be most on her watch around your son. I propose we name the beast. If we're happy to have 'male violence' then we should say 'male-family-member-rape'. Does she have a lock on her door when it's only her and your husband around? Again, that's where and when she's far more likely to be abused than anywhere else.

Aaaaaaaaand here we go with the insults again.

I, like most sane and rational people, would class rape as an act of violence. So we don’t need to say ‘male family member rape’, we can just say ‘male violence’, we already have a term for it.

That’s good you are admitting you know the facts though, although they’re a bit skewed here - she’s more likely to be abused by someone known to her, most likely someone living in her house or a frequent visitor to her house. That someone is likely to be a man.

What do you suggest we do about that issue? Apart from pitying the OP for wanting to keep her children safe?

OnTheList · 25/01/2018 09:27

And - this is the bit I think am vital- the number of people prepared to mug or assault a random stranger in the street is infinitely smaller than the number of people who will quite happily push their hands into the groin of a young adolescent girl or threaten her with sexual violence.*

The fact that judges will still, even in this day and age, comment on an female assault victim's whereabouts and general ability to look after herself, while the same will not be said about a victim of mugging, shows that society still thinks that sexual violence against women is something women ought to factor into their everyday planning. We don't think that way with men.

YY. Its so fucking depressing.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 09:27

Bugger

Not the last post

Though there is nothing wrong with that one

The one before

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 09:28

Was it you?

Sorry should have said that if it was me it will have my name at the top

I doubt it though, im not really a cornish pastry type of woman

maybebabybee · 25/01/2018 10:14

I genuinely don't understand why anyone bothers wasting their energy trying to deny that male violence, specifically, is an issue. It's not just violence "from people". FFS.

What is the point? It's like white people trying to deny that POC experience racism more often than they do.

BertrandRussell · 25/01/2018 10:26

What Cory said.

BertrandRussell · 25/01/2018 10:27

But enough about all this. I want to hear about the Cornish pasty.

OnTheList · 25/01/2018 10:29

I want to hear about the Cornish pasty.

Yes me too, waiting for the link with interest Grin

restbiterepeat · 25/01/2018 10:30

I'm beginning to wonder why anyone bothers, it seems futile to argue with people who cannot accept that male violence is a problem.

If a person who is capable of reading a newspaper or watching the news concludes that male violence is not a problem then they have clearly put an astounding amount of energy into that delusional misreading. And that won't be undone in 1000 posts on Mumsnet.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 25/01/2018 10:30

I have an amazing son

I have some great men in my life

I am also aware that far far too many males harm women and many are unaware of their entitlement

I can’t see what one has to do with the other Confused

Pumperthepumper · 25/01/2018 10:53

I'm beginning to wonder why anyone bothers, it seems futile to argue with people who cannot accept that male violence is a problem.

See, I like threads like this (I always think they’re started by someone who knows fine well about male violence and wants to highlight the issue by posting something controversial) because the people who start off with ‘you’re all man haters, my husband is lovely’ always slink off when faced with the facts. That to me suggests they have had their eyes opened but won’t admit it.

restbiterepeat · 25/01/2018 11:08

I would really like it if that were true Pumper.

If those of you who slinked off because you realised you are wrong could come back and say so, it would be much appreciated, thanks.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 11:57

Awesome well done jaimes

No wonder i didnt see it im not clever enough for feminist theory

Apologies change

I only stick in chat...ill have a little look though

Lizzie48 · 25/01/2018 11:59

I seriously doubt they have changed their minds that quickly. I expect they can't think of a way to justify their position. Because there really is an issue of male violence.

I also think a lot of women become defensive because they feel like their loved ones are being insulted and they jump in to defend them.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 25/01/2018 11:59

Oh

Im really honestly disappointed

Ill have my apologies back....

One random poster fails to get a thread going in 2016, are they even a feminist? Might do a search

But yeah feminists...am i right!!!

maybebabybee · 25/01/2018 12:01

What?! That thread didn't even have any replies.

BertrandRussell · 25/01/2018 12:10

Very disappointed. But it was obviously totally serious and started by a feminist- feminists famously have no sense of humour.