No one wants to come to dd party

[Celp28]

My daughter is turning 13 on Friday. She has invited 9 friends for a sleepover and no one has responded to her invite. She has a so called best friend who has told her she doesn’t want to come and she doesn’t think others will want to come if she doesn’t come and that my dd is ‘a freak’. I’m so bleedin angry! Aibu to contact the girls mum to inform her her darling daughter is a bully or leave it?

I hope your surprise is wonderful for dd, and we are all cheering her on and wishing her well.

You definitely made the right decision to cancel too many unknowns - and could make things worse. Hope she has a great day

God teenagers can be vile. What is it about that age that makes some kids want to knock the confidence of others to make themselves feel secure?

Your poor DD. It sounds as if she's handled it with great dignity. Hope you have a brilliant weekend

You could get a load of pamper stuff in and have some girly time Friday night instead, take away and chick flick DVDs, then a trip out on Saturday, maybe shopping and lunch or waterworld, Alton towers, snow dome, ice skating?

Although, at some point, poor OP will have to address the issue of her DD's supposed 'friendships'

Her DD can't carry on through the whole of school with these girls treating her this way!

Probably DD has realised, herself, that these are not friends.

Thanks again for all your lovely comments and support. I had hell getting dd to school this morning! I told her to keep her head high and not to mention anything. The only person who brought it up was ‘the best friend’ who said she’d only cancelled as no one wanted to come anyway! Grrrr! Bleedin little sod! Anyway, dd handled it well and said she’d cancelled as we are going to a hotel and special day out with her cousins which shut her down.
In respect to the questions about the contact numbers, my phone number/address was given with the invites should any parent wish to contact me and I was planning on asking for parents numbers when we got a response (which obviously never happened). Anyhoo, onwards and upwards, we have a hotel booked and a shopping trip planned and potentially a trip to the sea life centre if dd and her cousin fancy it so hopefully all’s well. Thanks again everyone you truly have kept me sane with your nice responses, it’s refreshing to see that there are nice people and feel supported

I wish i could pair your dd with the dd in a thread i just read on the Teenagers board. Same age and having similar issues. They could befriend each other and tell the mean girls to bugger off!

I think you did the right think cancelling. Teen girls are bloody awful to each other.

Your plan sounds like fun. Much better than spending time with those nasty girls

*thing

That 'best friend' is a spiteful piece of work, isn't she.
Well done, OP, and well done to your daughter too. Hope she has a lovely time. To be honest, with this nastiness in the background, she may well have been on edge and anxious during the sleepover anyway, so this sounds like a good call.

Teen girls are bloody awful to each other.
Some are, not all of them

She was brave to invite her friends anyway! I didn't invite any friends on my 13th birthday (or my 14th or 15th) as I knew nobody would want to come anyway. This of course happened ages ago, am still hesitant to invite people though, that's something that has stuck with me all these years (forty now and counting).

Of course Heidi.
My experience as a parent of a teen girl who has special needs has been awful tbh but yes of course not all girls are like this. But God the drama amongst a significant group in dds year is horrendous.

I wish your DD was in my DD’s class I am sure they would be friends.

OP, just to say Ive read the thread and Im thinking of you and your girl and though it may be of little consolation now I hope that in the not too distant future she realises her so called friends weren't worth the upset.

Here's to a lovely day for your girl.

How about a night in a premier inn/travelodge in a city Nottingham, Birmingham etc At that age my dd would have loved a night in a hotel with me, you could go out for a pizza or see a film and then potter around shopping etc the next day.
What rotten friends, I hope your dd has lovely birthday

I have had hell with Sen dd and friendship groups but I remember years ago my Mum buying us all Take That tickets for my birthday she when Take That were huge instead of a party and the queen bee persuading people not to come. I spent the evening up to an hour before my birthday calling people asking if they were coming and no one answering.
I was heartbroken more because I knew my Mum had saved like hell to sort it for me and would lose money.

As it was we sold them on the night to a family who had crap seats and I stayed in contact for years.

Are there any really good gigs on near where you are staying OP?
I'd be tempted to do something very grown up and cool.

That's really sad. We've been lucky with dd13s friends at high school so far i guess. I'm sure that sort of thing goes on in her year though. There were mean kids in her primary class.

In my experience this is a very tricky year for girls-

DD had a form teacher who said it is a very "tribal" year with different groups forming and alliances switching.

She will find her group and they will be lucky to have her. And I think they are pretty resilient so hopefully she won't miss them for long as she has seen their true colours!!

I know that you don't have the "best friend's" parents number - but I would consider talking to the school. This relational aggression is bullying and can be soul destroying if left to continue. The school have a responsibility to deal with it tactfully. Even if you mention it and ask them to keep an eye on things - and if things don't improve insist the other parent is informed. It's horrible behaviour. If my child started behaving like this I would absolutely want to know- partly because it is vile and I would insist it stopped and apologies given, but also because it would be out of character and an indication that my child was not right and I would want to get to the crux of it.

I'm so sorry your daughter has had to deal with this - she is lucky to have a Mum looking out for her. I hope she has a great time this weekend.

Your poor DD, that girl is not a friend. Your DD needs to find some better/real friends. I would suggest either Alton Towers or a spa day. Tell her Happy Birthday for Friday.

I too would have a quick 5 minute casual phone call to school - tutor. Because this nasty piece of work of a 'best friend' is a right one!!

What a nasty, bitchy child - she would be very quickly crossed off my friend list. Do you think she is jealous and doing a bit of 'intimidating' of the other girls? Could you perhaps ring round other mums in a light hearted way and ask if their girls are coming as you need to get arrangements sorted ? I would also let the mother of this horrible child know what she has said. - it might be springing from something that has happened at home and mum needs to know otherwise she won't have any friends left.