AIBU to next time tell him to fuck off?

[ohreallyohreallyoh]

Parking. I get the frustration for people living near schools but I never park illegally and never block people in. This evening at 4:30 I parked up in my usual spot about 2 doors down from the school as we are not allowed to park in the school car park. Bloke in van pulled in behind me, gesturing wildly. Got out his car and banged on my window, demanding that I move my car so He could park outside his house. Several times I head tilted and said ‘why’ and he repeated himself, each time just a little bit more aggressively. I had turned off the car and picked up my mobile to speak to my eldest to see if he’d picked up a loaf on the way home. Once I’d done that (man still shouting at me),I moved the car across the road but walked back past him to a very insincere ‘thank you’. Repeated again that my car was taxed and insured and that as I was legally parked, under no obligation to move my car. He then got really aggressive and yelled at me that he was ‘going to report’ me for being on my mobile. I laughed and said yes, in a legally parked up car with the engine turned off. So his response to that was that it was illegal to use a mobile in a car.

I shouldn’t have moved, I know. I was wrong, AIBU to stalk that parking space so next time I can tell him to do one?!

Am really shaken.

He was being an overtly aggressive arsehole, but U were being passive aggressive. I can understand why he gets annoyed that he can’t park outside his house, but he should have been more polite. However on the basis there was another space opposite you might have moved immediately to save you the stress

This thread is fully of lazy parents who are happy to inconvenience others for the sake of being closer to drop off/collect their precious sunbeams

Seriously? You read the whole thread and you got that from it?

I keep asking, because no one has yet answered, but no matter where I park, I will be in front of someone’s house. So how far away is acceptable? Do you not get that as a working parent, dropping off already as soon as the school opens at 7:30, having to walk even a few minutes puts my ability to get to my job in time in jeopardy. Not to mention if the only acceptable solution is walking, my children would be out the house at 7am and on many days, not home before 6:30pm. And actually, I couldn’t make that work because the logistics of walking and fighting my way through traffic would mean I arrived at work late everyday. I am also a single parent. Would you prefer me on benefits?

And why is it not acceptable for me to inconvenience this man but acceptable for him to inconvenience me when legally I had done nothing at all wrong?

Op you are always going to get people disagreeing with you because their opinion is different. For whatever reason. You are best off reporting this man so that people are aware and continuing to legally park as you have. If he does it again then report it again.

Parking outside your house...im just glad i can park on my road. Ive asked someone to move once, discounting the block in. That was to get my elderly gran as close to the door as possible. All very friendly and she pulled forwards four feet. He could have asked politely and accepted if you declined.

He wanted to park outside his house. That is not unreasonable he also may have had a long day/early start the next morning / heavy item to take inside.
You had alternatives and could have easily moved with a smile and you would probably have both felt better about it all. You would have been accommodating and magnanimous when faced with a stressed man and he could have parked without losing it at you. You could have felt good about helping someone leaving him in a better mood with a better view of parents that park in the road so that next time no one needs to end their day feeling angry.....

OP, You don't have to think about anything other than were you parked legally and safely. We're there any restrictions?..NO!
Everything else is irrelevant.
All the prats on here telling you that you should park further away, or walk, or move your car, or worry about who lived in the house where you parked, or you shouldn't respond to aggression by tilting your head lest it further annoyed an aggressive self entitled male bully.....are all totally wrong!
Facts mean nothing to them because they lack logic and intelligence. You have done nothing wrong.

I’m dismayed at every single post that says the OP ‘antagonised’ the cretin who made her feel threatened and vulnerable. It doesn’t matter how she acts (not including violence or abuse), no one has the bloody right to bang on her car and intimidate her 🤬

It is still scaring me that there are people on here wanting to soothe the ego of a "stressed man" who may have somethjng heavy to lift from his van.

So it's ok for this stressed man to bang on the OP's window, aggressively intimidate her?

Oh yes I forgot - it is ok, because the OP dared to be passive aggressive in reply, which is worse than instigating an argument aggressively.

OP - you did nothing wrong. IF he had come over and asked politely, and you'd replied as you did, then sure, the balance of the argument MAYBE shifts to you perhaps BU, although it's still incredible that someone feels they can move you around from a legal parking space

But for folk to fall over themselves criticising you for "winding up a stressed man"... give me strength!!

@klw77

Couldn't agree more with your post.

It's scary people are so excited to put down a "wrongful parker" that they'll overlook (or deliberately justify) aggression

I live near a school and trying to just drive out of the road at drop off time or get a space if I return at pick up is impossible. . On the other hand, my children got into that very oversubscribed school because we lived near and I had a nice, anxiety free walk with my girls to and from school during their primary years. I would be a hypocrite if I objected to the parkers now !

You were legally parked, but unfortunately the people that live in that area get it every school day. My neighbours have had people park in their drives, across their drives, over double yellow lines, legally and illegally. People are so inconsiderate. Yes, you were legally parked, but I suspect he has seen it all and on some days people just want to park in front of their homes.

Sorry you had to take the brunt of it. Please don't antagonise. It won't do any good and may bring the school into it.

I can't believe some of the comments on here, and people are projecting massively about double parking, blocking drives, illegal parking on junctions etc. The OP wasn't doing any of that.

She was legally parked, on the public highway, not in a dangerous spot. She wasn't blocking anyone in. She wasn't parked across anyone's drive. She was LEGALLY PARKED ON THE PUBLIC HIGHWAY.

White van man with sense of self-entitlement was aggressive, intimidating and threatening. He has no right to park immediately outside his house.

OP, YANBU. Definitely film him if it happens again, and then suggest to him that as he seems to think you've done something wrong, perhaps he would like to call the police.

If parking in his own space were so important to him, he needs to move to a house with a driveway. Yes it is inconvenient but his choice of housing has not got the convenience of a drive. Never mind that on some roads, some residents believe they have some entitlement to park outside their house. It is wrong. It is not theirs anymore than it is anyother drivers right to park there. Yes it might be annoying but that does not justify his wrong sense of entitlement. His behaviour in any event sounds aggressive and gives grounds for complaint.

Can’t get over the amount of people saying OP shouldn’t have parked there.... I assume all these people never park near anyone else’s house when going about their daily business!

Perhaps if it’s that much of an issue and a priority that you park directly outside your own house arrangements should be made for off road parking to be created or buy a house with off road parking!

It really is just ridiculous!

In answer to the queues I wouldn’t antagonise him, park elsewhere if the confrontation shakes you up. It really isn’t worth the hassle if he’s going to be precious about it.

I get so annoyed at parents who park in our road, we live behind a large primary school, some are so inconsiderate, but he could have asked more politely for you to move. at certain times of the day, no way could an ambulance or fire engine get passed! I have lost count of the times when i have not been able to get into my own driveway, never mind park outside my own house! I've given up on that! I actually avoid trying to get in and out of my drive at school times.

*question

I'm with you OP.

I've commuted to London for over 20 years and currently live somewhere where the roads adjacent to train station all have drives and yet I often find shitty notes on my windscreen telling me I shouldn't be parked in this road because I either don't live here or I'm taking the piss parking outside someones house and should use the station car park.

Firstly the road is line free so I can park anywhere and secondly you all have sodding drives/garages!!

It drives me nuts!

I would strongly recommend you don't antagonise though, you don't want to come back and find your car keyed!

By antagonise I mean don't deliberately wind anyone like this up. If it happens again, I wouldn't move my car and I would calmly tell say "please stop being so aggressive, I'm allowed to park here and I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to intimidate me".

Gottagetmoving
I can assure you I'm not fucking stupid, I just don't agree with you. Does calling people stupid make you feel good about yourself?
Both were wrong, both were aggressive, but the MN head tilt makes me cringe, the asking 'why?' repeatedly and hiding behind the law rather than acknowledging common curtesy are arsey, smart Alec moves. Asking if it's ok to tell someone to 'fuck off'...seriously.
Guess I'd better give my head another wobble!

OMG OP is this school in Lewisham and have St in the name?

If so I know this man or a doppelganger of him. I have had exactly the same experience with a complete nutcase just as you describe.

I am someone who lives right by a school, thankfully we have drives!

I don’t think you were unreasonable, no you shouldn’t hav moved your car, video him sounds like a great idea! From within the car ofc, for safety...

He didn’t have any right to behave the way he did :(

We have parents that block drives at my nearby school, now THAT is different !!

If it were me, I’d probably avoid the spot, but only cause I dislike confrontation... and then I’d beat myself up quietly over letting the dick get his way :(

I keep asking, because no one has yet answered, but no matter where I park, I will be in front of someone’s house.

Which is the same in every built-up area. Especially with older houses with no drives.

You have to park in any legal spot you can find. And the homeowner has to put up with it till school time is over.

He wanted to park outside his house. That is not unreasonable

It is though.

People are saying OP could have saved herself the stress and moved her car to the space opposite. Why not say that he could have just parked opposite and not been such a rude entitled dick head?

When I was a student the street I lived on a was like this - naturally it is irritating because I might have had to park 2 or 3 streets away (and that was the whole day, not just school run.) But I knew I had no right.

Although that man was being a complete asshole - no need to act like that at all! 😥 I can understand completely why OP wanted to dig her heels in after being accosted like that - its fight or flight mechanism kicking in after being aggressively confronted.

I’m sure if he had have asked politely & explained why OP would happily have moved to the other side, you do catch more flies with honey than vinegar

I've skipped through a bit, but personally I think that parking work vans on the road in a residential area is pretty off.

Where I used to live there was barely room for anyone else to park because of all the work vans parked up overnight.

I understand that it's more convenient for the business not to have to provide parking, and for the employee to not have to drive to work, but I feel like there should be some extra business tax to compensate for it personally.

I live very near a school and parents are very annoying, but I think you were right OP. You were parked safely and legally and he was aggressive.

Now, to moan about the parents around here rolls eyes... Often they park over the drive and some cars are there for over an hour, not 10 minutes twice a day rolls eyes again. We have places to go too, y'know.