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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to next time tell him to fuck off?

409 replies

ohreallyohreallyoh · 23/01/2018 17:40

Parking. I get the frustration for people living near schools but I never park illegally and never block people in. This evening at 4:30 I parked up in my usual spot about 2 doors down from the school as we are not allowed to park in the school car park. Bloke in van pulled in behind me, gesturing wildly. Got out his car and banged on my window, demanding that I move my car so He could park outside his house. Several times I head tilted and said ‘why’ and he repeated himself, each time just a little bit more aggressively. I had turned off the car and picked up my mobile to speak to my eldest to see if he’d picked up a loaf on the way home. Once I’d done that (man still shouting at me),I moved the car across the road but walked back past him to a very insincere ‘thank you’. Repeated again that my car was taxed and insured and that as I was legally parked, under no obligation to move my car. He then got really aggressive and yelled at me that he was ‘going to report’ me for being on my mobile. I laughed and said yes, in a legally parked up car with the engine turned off. So his response to that was that it was illegal to use a mobile in a car.

I shouldn’t have moved, I know. I was wrong, AIBU to stalk that parking space so next time I can tell him to do one?!

Am really shaken.

OP posts:
taskmaster · 24/01/2018 15:24

They were both inconsiderate and difficult

no they weren't only he was.

She can only be if you think people have the right to park outside their houses, which they do not. So your opinion is simply wrong.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/01/2018 15:39

Like I said, to me it's not about who has the "right" to park outside a house it's about being considerate and accommodating the odd request to move.

Life's a hell of a lot easier if everyone can rub along together without heated confrontation over minor issues isn't it?
Imagine all the people living in harmony. Wink

taskmaster · 24/01/2018 15:41

It's not a request when it comes with window banging and shouting. What you are doing is castigating a woman for not giving in to the demands of an aggressive entitled man.
Which is.....well, if you're comfortable with defending the desires of shouty white van man I suppose thats up to you. Pretty ick though.

Bluelady · 24/01/2018 15:43

If everyone was like you, Lost, life would be so smooth. Can we elect you to run the country, please?

Bluelady · 24/01/2018 15:44

Didn't read the post, did you taskmaster?

HelveticaVanBuren · 24/01/2018 15:45

I can't stand people like you.

taskmaster · 24/01/2018 15:45

i did, clearly. unlike yourself.

taskmaster · 24/01/2018 15:46

I can't stand people like you

Nah, me neither. Horrible people aren't they?

HelveticaVanBuren · 24/01/2018 15:47

This thread is fully of lazy parents who are happy to inconvenience others for the sake of being closer to drop off/collect their precious sunbeams.

You're children aren't special; make them walk a bit further.

Bluelady · 24/01/2018 15:47

No you didn't. Out said f the request had been made politely and responded to n the same way, there wouldn't be a problem.

Bluelady · 24/01/2018 15:48

Not Out, Lost!

Littlebitshort · 24/01/2018 15:51

Ugh shouty man was a PRICK!! I wouldnt have moved. What an absolute a-hole! He choose to live by a school and you were legally parked. You WNBU if you parked there again and told him to do one. Lets face it, its right by the school so someone else is bound to park there. In fact, if he does it again i would report him for verbal abuse!

taskmaster · 24/01/2018 15:52

You're children aren't special; make them walk a bit further

To where? Outside someone elses house?

Really stupid answers here. Still not getting the point.

Littlebitshort · 24/01/2018 15:53

And for those calling lazy parenting....i also park right by a school....this is because i work between the school run and have very little time between school and work and if i dont clock-in on time i loose an hours pay and face disciplinary action too.

taskmaster · 24/01/2018 15:53

No you didn't. Out said f the request had been made politely and responded to n the same way, there wouldn't be a problem

It wasn't, and that poster still said that the op was just as bad as the shouting banging demanding man. Which is not only complete bollocks its quite offensive.
Woman doesn't give in to aggressive mans unreasonable demands and lots of women on here tell her she's in the wrong? WTF is wrong with you to think that?

veuveo · 24/01/2018 15:55

God some people are stupid
You did nothing wrong op, guy shouldn't be able to shout and intimidate someone just to get the spot outside his house.
I've lived in a school road,sometimes I'd wait 5/10 mins to avoid going home, to avoid school times. I'm now waiting outside school for pickup, there's a car park, but I had someone screaming at me about a space insisting it was permit only in the car park. It's not. I get that it's annoying but there's no need to shout and scream at anyone.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/01/2018 16:10

I agree the man's attempt to intimidate with aggression were out of line. OP's response to that with repeatedly mouthing "Why?" head tilting and making him wait while she made a call were her squaring up to him with her own form of passive aggression.

It's quite fascinating territorial behaviour. And a bit depressing.

Peace Out BlueLady Smile

Lizzie48 · 24/01/2018 16:13

Wow, parking really does bring out the worst in people. Hmm

TeeBee · 24/01/2018 16:16

I don't think you did anything wrong at all OP. I live near a school and I accept that I absolutely do not have jurisdiction over the bit of road outside my house at school run time or at any other time. People have to park to pick up their kids. If he doesn't like it, it shouldn't have moved there.

If he's asked you politely, it would be a different matter but he didn't. He has the option of parking elsewhere and then moving outside his house when the school run is over. What, an hour at most? He sounds a dickhead.

I'm confused why people said you were inconsiderate. You needed a space, there was a space to park in. End of.

Estellanpip · 24/01/2018 16:19

You goaded him on purpose AND he's right- sorry OP but I'm with him on this.

Gottagetmoving · 24/01/2018 16:44

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LakieLady · 24/01/2018 16:47

YANBU. He was being unreasonable and aggressive.

Most schools are in residential areas and most on-street parking in residential areas are likely to be outside someone's house. If he has a problem with someone legally parking outside his house for the few minutes it takes to pick up their kids, he needs to move to a house with off-street parking.

GinDaddy · 24/01/2018 17:22

It's absolutely disgusting that a number of (I presume female) posters on this site are so consumed with a desire to give the OP a ticking-off for daring to park somewhere where someone else is "entitled to" because they happen to own a house adjacent to the pavement...

...that they then conveniently ignore the fact that the original aggressor was a man, who banged on the window and caused fear and discomfort to the OP.

As a man I'm flabbergasted that there isn't more solidarity with the OP here. The man didn't ask politely or get out and put his case forward. He went 0-60 and was aggressive, touching her car and causing consternation from the outset.

Let's flip the scenario. OP comes into a cafe and takes the last remaining table. Man is in queue collecting food, therefore is more "entitled" to the table. He walks over, bangs OP's table loudly and gestures for her to move.

I bet there'd be a number of posters who would say "OP was being goady and unreasonable to take the table, thereby Man's aggression is justified". ShockHmm

We are so consumed by this urgent desire to put people in their place for a perceived wrong, therefore justifying aggression and ignoring outrageous behaviour.

I'll make a mental note of the following:

Parking etiquette >> more important to address than >> aggression against women

GinDaddy · 24/01/2018 17:25

Oh and just to let folk know on here that there are men out there doing domestic violence who justify their behaviour by saying "she looked at me funny, she was smirking etc". One of them was my dad.

So I hold no truck with any of this the "you tilted your head!!" cries of outrage. How anyone can use that to justify the man with the van's outburst is utterly beyond me.

As far as I'm concerned the OP can tilt her head all day, the man has the right to verbally and respectfully tell her she is downright unreasonable. He doesn't have the right to bang on her property and shout at her.

cuddly61 · 24/01/2018 17:34

We get problem parking near our village school ,but I’ve never known anyone get aggressive demanding a parent move their car.
If you was parked ok by that I mean you wasn’t over any part of a dropped kerb to this chaps house. Then you was quite legally parked.he does not own the road outside his house.
I remember the lady over the road just needed to nip home to pick something up.she parked outside my neighbour house but the neighbour started banging on her kitchen window telling her to move she couldn’t park there.of course the lady over the road ignored this and purposely took longer to pick whatever it was she picking up from her home.