Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to next time tell him to fuck off?

409 replies

ohreallyohreallyoh · 23/01/2018 17:40

Parking. I get the frustration for people living near schools but I never park illegally and never block people in. This evening at 4:30 I parked up in my usual spot about 2 doors down from the school as we are not allowed to park in the school car park. Bloke in van pulled in behind me, gesturing wildly. Got out his car and banged on my window, demanding that I move my car so He could park outside his house. Several times I head tilted and said ‘why’ and he repeated himself, each time just a little bit more aggressively. I had turned off the car and picked up my mobile to speak to my eldest to see if he’d picked up a loaf on the way home. Once I’d done that (man still shouting at me),I moved the car across the road but walked back past him to a very insincere ‘thank you’. Repeated again that my car was taxed and insured and that as I was legally parked, under no obligation to move my car. He then got really aggressive and yelled at me that he was ‘going to report’ me for being on my mobile. I laughed and said yes, in a legally parked up car with the engine turned off. So his response to that was that it was illegal to use a mobile in a car.

I shouldn’t have moved, I know. I was wrong, AIBU to stalk that parking space so next time I can tell him to do one?!

Am really shaken.

OP posts:
Serin · 23/01/2018 20:49

I used to park a couple of hundred yards away and walk the rest of the way to school.
Less congestion, better exercise and left room free closer to the school for parents with poor mobility or small kids in tow.

Coolaschmoola · 23/01/2018 20:50

Oh do fuck off Friendlycat... I'm a teacher and what I do and say in my private life (and on an ANONYMOUS internet forum 🤔) is fuck all to do with my JOB. If I'd wanted to be held up as a paragon of virtue 24/7 I would have become a nun...

Strangely, as a professional, I'm perfectly capable of behaving appropriately in a classroom and I get excellent results. And, shocker, the kids like me too.

If a child started screaming at me I would react as a teacher, but I absolutely reserve the right to tell aggressive, abusive or sanctimonious people to fuck off.

fairylightsdown · 23/01/2018 20:50

You're both in the wrong. He was aggressive and you were passive aggressive. You were both rude. You were both self-entitled.

The head tilting several times knowing that it would make him more aggressive (seeing as you obviously noticed an increase after each head tilt).. why would you continue to deliberately wind him up? And wtf is it with head tilts... really bizarre behaviour .. it's almost comical.

leiaorganashair · 23/01/2018 20:53

I used to live very close to a primary school. Parking was an utter nightmare as I used to come and go at non 9-5 hours a lot. I had no problem with cars parked outside, the problem was if I came home during school kick out times I would often find my parking space taken- in the residents parking Angry- and the road so full I had to hover outside until the school parents left. Couldn't park in neighbouring roads as they were permit only. It was a nightmare. I would happily park further away and walk doing a school pick up to avoid that situation for residents.

amicissimma · 23/01/2018 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzie48 · 23/01/2018 20:56

MrsKoala

People are utterly unhinged about the perceived moral space outside their house. It's one of the things i find so hard to understand. It makes no sense to me at all.

This 100%. As long as you park legally and don't block anyone, you're really not doing anything wrong.

MiaowTheCat · 23/01/2018 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzie48 · 23/01/2018 21:01

MiaowTheCat, if there is a huge public car park parents can use, then there is no excuse for parents to double park. Our school doesn't have that, I imagine that's the case with most schools.

Pengggwn · 23/01/2018 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ohreallyohreallyoh · 23/01/2018 21:20

you seem to think it's "your" parking spot at pick up time from the "usual spot" comments

Not at all. I probably park there most of the time because most of the time it is free. It is my usual parking spot, yes. But I have no right to park there, of course.

OP posts:
llangennith · 23/01/2018 21:23

If you live anywhere near a school you know it’s going to be impossible for about 15 mins during morning and afternoon school runs. Annoying but you put up with it. You don’t expect someone to deliberately linger, especially just to have a chat on the phone.
YWBU but so was he.

DumbleDee · 23/01/2018 21:26

How dare the OP Tilt her head in a passive aggressive way in response to a man being actually aggressive and abusive!!! Give your heads a wobble. YANBU OP. Bullys are bullys until they're challenged. The OP did nothing wrong.

leiaorganashair · 23/01/2018 21:28

If he lives outside a school he's probably experienced a lot of entitled parents. I wouldn't take a red flag to a bull. If you really can't spare 10 minutes to walk a few blocks, just park, don't engage, get in and out as fast as possible.

Original poster
ohreallyohreallyoh · 23/01/2018 21:29

I wasn’t deliberately lingering. I pulled up, turned engine off, guy knocked on my window. I made the phone all I would have made had he not been there. The phone all was about 25 seconds long.

OP posts:
Original poster
ohreallyohreallyoh · 23/01/2018 21:31

But even if I parked a few blocks away (and sod that after a day on my feetj, I would still be parking in front of someone’s house. I don’t get the logic of this. I don’t tell people to move from the front of my house when I get home.

OP posts:
Fantasticmissfoxy · 23/01/2018 21:33

I think you're getting a bit of a hard time here OP, provided you were parked sensibly in a legal (not designated residents or dropped kerb etc) then he has no business asking you to move! He doesn't own the road outside his house FFS and there is no excuse for being rude about it. I would be tempted to say if he tackles you again 'I won't be moving the car, it's parked legally in a public space - you don't own the road outside your house. I'll be gone in 10 minutes if you want the space that badly, you can wait'

Fantasticmissfoxy · 23/01/2018 21:43

I also can't get my head round people getting stroppy about people parking on the road, legally, in designated public parking spaces just because it happens to be near their house!!

I used to live in the city centre near a university in a house that had no drive / parking and it was pure pot luck whether I'd get parked nearby when I came home from work. When I bought the house I knew that it didn't come with any parking rights and accepted that. The people parking (legally) on my street had no less right to be there than me - what utter nonsense.

Violletta · 23/01/2018 21:44

Legally it's fine to park outside someone's house but it's good manners to move if the house owner returns and wants to park there.

is it bollocks - if the OP can park across the road then so can they - you want guaranteed parking? get a fucking driveway!

Skiiltan · 23/01/2018 21:47

I live opposite a primary school and around the corner from a row of shops. I always have people parking across my drive so I can't get in/out. I don't mind when it's delivery drivers: they have to park there and I know where to find them. I don't mind too much when it's parents picking up/dropping off: they are usually only there for a minute or two, although the ones who hang around gassing at the school gate for half an hour are a pain (as they are to everyone else). The real problems are (a) parents attending evening events at the school, who often park for 2 hours or more, and (b) people going to the pub for the whole evening who are too lazy to park further up the road, leave their cars parked for hours across my drive - usually with one or two wheels on the pavement - and then drive off paralytically drunk.

I once had a guy park right across the drive, about 5 feet from the kerb so he was blocking the road as well as my access, for nearly an hour. When he came back he apologized and said he wasn't from around here, as though it would be acceptable to park like that anywhere else.

Efferlunt · 23/01/2018 22:13

Baffled as to why people are adding stories of inconsiderate school run drivers parking across driveways or blocking streets. Sure that’s annoying but nothing to do with the OP who did absolutely nothing wrong.

StaplesCorner · 23/01/2018 22:33

Efferlunt - baffle over here with me Sad

Gottagetmoving · 24/01/2018 13:51

Both as bad as the other - he thinks he has dibs on the parking outside his house, you seem to think it's "your" parking spot at pick up time from the "usual spot" comments

Why do people make this sort of crap up?
OP thinks nothing of the sort.
She parks in an empty space which happens to be available when she turns up.

taskmaster · 24/01/2018 14:26

Legally it's fine to park outside someone's house but it's good manners to move if the house owner returns and wants to park there

No it isn't. It's bad manners to ask someone to, its worse manners to demand they do.
It's perfectly mannerly to park on any road you like.

AskBasil · 24/01/2018 14:44

It is astronomically bad manners to ask anyone to move their car from a legal space unless you are expecting a delivery or some other such unusual event.

Expecting someone to move their car, just so that you can park outside your house for normal life, is unbelievably entitled.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/01/2018 15:16

I disagree Basil. Neither the OP or van driver came out of this situation covered in glory. They were both inconsiderate and difficult. The bad manners here arose from the hostile attitudes on both sides.

Where I live none of the houses have off road parking and we're all considerate in trying to leave the spaces directly outside houses free where possible. It's a pain in the arse parking further away, particularly with a work van that might need to be unloaded or contain expensive kit. Drivers are often asked (politely) to move up or along.

I've never argued the legalities or started spouting the Highway Code at anyone asking me to move. Forget being right or wrong, where's the generosity of spirit or goodwill for others in being so pedantic?

In an ideal world this as scenario would have played out as follows:

Van man: Excuse me would you mind moving into that space opposite? I'd like to park my van outside this house.

OP: I can do that

Van man: Thanks I appreciate it.