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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to next time tell him to fuck off?

409 replies

ohreallyohreallyoh · 23/01/2018 17:40

Parking. I get the frustration for people living near schools but I never park illegally and never block people in. This evening at 4:30 I parked up in my usual spot about 2 doors down from the school as we are not allowed to park in the school car park. Bloke in van pulled in behind me, gesturing wildly. Got out his car and banged on my window, demanding that I move my car so He could park outside his house. Several times I head tilted and said ‘why’ and he repeated himself, each time just a little bit more aggressively. I had turned off the car and picked up my mobile to speak to my eldest to see if he’d picked up a loaf on the way home. Once I’d done that (man still shouting at me),I moved the car across the road but walked back past him to a very insincere ‘thank you’. Repeated again that my car was taxed and insured and that as I was legally parked, under no obligation to move my car. He then got really aggressive and yelled at me that he was ‘going to report’ me for being on my mobile. I laughed and said yes, in a legally parked up car with the engine turned off. So his response to that was that it was illegal to use a mobile in a car.

I shouldn’t have moved, I know. I was wrong, AIBU to stalk that parking space so next time I can tell him to do one?!

Am really shaken.

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 23/01/2018 18:48

If this was a woman trying to get a man to move cos he was outside her house, even if she was pregnant with twins had 2 toddlers and SPD, posters would be saying "He's legally parked you have no right!!

And they would be right to say so, if the driver was legally parked!
Why do you sound so horrified about it?
Actual Rules don't change because someone is pregnant and have children.
Of course, if asked politely, then most people would oblige in your (unlikely) scenario.... but if the person demanded and got aggressive then I would totally understand a refusal.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/01/2018 18:50

@taskmaster I'm pretty sure people like you are the reason most people on my street park on the road instead of their driveways. Tough bollocks indeed when the next closest place to park is half a mile away. If you don't like it.. stop being lazy and walk.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 23/01/2018 18:51

@bonnymnemonic

Tbh when it's clearly a visitor it doesn't bother me. It bothers me when the fuckers park their car at 8am, go to work and leave it there all day. Then visitors have to park streets away. My neighbour puts dog shit under the handles!

Slowtrain2dawn · 23/01/2018 18:52

YANBU. He sounds very aggressive, and obviously didn’t respond well to being told fact. His issue not yours. I can’t believe the people who expect others to move so they can park outside their house! I’ve never heard of this. I suppose if you live in a quiet little suburb then you might have an arrangement with neighbours, but if you live near any amenities it’s just not possible.

Pengggwn · 23/01/2018 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gottagetmoving · 23/01/2018 18:53

My neighbour puts dog shit under the handles!

Your neighbour is a disgusting, nasty twat....and totally out of order.

Bluedoglead · 23/01/2018 18:53

You deliberately wound him up.

He was aggressive.

Why can’t you park a bit further away and walk.

Sidge · 23/01/2018 18:53

Bluelady. It annoys the shit out of me. We have no off street parking nor do any of our neighbours, we all respect the space outside each others' houses to the point of not allowing visitors to park in them and get really angry when random people use them.

If I had parked legally and safely in a public road and you came out to get angry and try and stop me parking there I'd tell you to jog on. Not my problem you have no off-street parking. You don't own the road.

Grumblepants · 23/01/2018 18:54

I'm with you OP but I probably would have sat in my car and cried. The man is a bully full stop! And people defending him should be ashamed of themselves. There is no excuse for intimidating aggressive behaviour. He knew there was a school in his road when he moved in. You have to park somewhere to get your children to and from school. If there is a next time then film him and report him!

overnightangel · 23/01/2018 18:54

The sooner people realise they don't own the fucking street or pavement outside their house the better. If there's no parking restriction or yellow lines you can park where the hell you like. Boo boo if someone has to walk an extra 10 yards to their car. Owning a house doesn't entitle you to priority to park outside it

taskmaster · 23/01/2018 18:55

@taskmaster I'm pretty sure people like you are the reason most people on my street park on the road instead of their driveways. Tough bollocks indeed when the next closest place to park is half a mile away. If you don't like it.. stop being lazy and walk

People like me? People who understand that you don't own the road...I think you'll find that is most people.

I don't like it, and I will not walk, I will park legally wherever I want to. How about you stop being lazy and walk?

Lizzie48 · 23/01/2018 18:55

If it's not permit holder only, then anyone is allowed to park outside your house, it's a public highway. If you live near a school then you will face this for about half an hour twice a day.

The OP was completely in the right, though she was a bit passive aggressive about it, I think.

Bowerbird5 · 23/01/2018 18:56

I had someone nearly park in my house yesterday.I'm off sick and was watching afternoon film she had a large Range car? and reversed in right outside my sash window she kept reversing and I actually got up to look because I thought she was on the stone flags directly outside and nearly into the house.She must have seen me move and tried again so she was within the kerb. It gave me a fright though she must have been pretty close to the wall of my cottage.
I sometimes get home early at school time-village school around the corner, not many village kids now.Townies because it is outstanding. It annoys me if I can't get parked but I would never expect anyone to move.The road isn't mine!
The worst was the parking further up either side of the road past a junction and cars actually parked across next doors gate ON the junction so the school coach from Secondary school (6miles away)can't get around the corner and then when dad comes back and I say something to him he gives me and bus driver(who I know) a right mouthful and tells her she needs to learn to drive. She is an excellent driver we ask for her on school trips.There is no way on earth she could squeeze through the gap he left. She says it happens most weeks. We reported him for abuseGrin well there was children present no need for that language!Wink

Lizzie48 · 23/01/2018 18:56

And the man was definitely far too aggressive, that was totally uncalled for.

etap · 23/01/2018 18:57

legal =/= inconsiderate

Bojangles33 · 23/01/2018 18:58

Obviously I'm in the minority here but I just don't think it's particularly ok to just tell someone to fuck off!! Which was the question here.... sorry but I don't think being rude back to someone is helpful. I completely agree that he shouldn't have jumped straight to being aggressive but OP sounds like she didn't want to really help the situation either. Maybe I'm just overly anxious but I always hate parking in front of other peoples houses incase I'm inconveniencing someone so I just can't imagine ever telling the home owner to fuck off if they ever asked me to move! 😂

Crashbangwhatausername · 23/01/2018 18:58

There are two sides to this but in this instance it boils down to the fact that the man was rude, aggressive and deliberately intimidating. I occasionally park on a residential street and then walk to work for the day. I once returned to a polite note on my windscreen asking me not to park there anymore as it was inconvenient for a resident. I could legally have ignored it but morally chose not to and now park elsewhere probably annoying someone else instead. If I were in the OPs position I would continue to park there because the man is an arse and I'd want to be petty and piss him off

BarbarianMum · 23/01/2018 18:59
taskmaster · 23/01/2018 18:59

There are not two sides to it. This is one of those really easy ones with only one side.
You don't own the road. There is no other side.

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 23/01/2018 19:00

I live near a primary school. Today I got home from work twenty minutes before the end of school. Took me ten mins driving around to find a spot five minutes' walk away.

That's just how it is. It was very very convenient over the many years my children went there. Obviously I wanted to ask the woman sitting in the car outside my house with the engine running to move to my spot (actually nearer the school!) but I didn't, because she has every right to park there. But she's a knob for leaving her engine running.

Gottagetmoving · 23/01/2018 19:00

Bluedoglead..You deliberately wound him up.He was aggressive.Why can’t you park a bit further away and walk

Ah,....It's OPs fault not obliging and backing down to an aggressive, entitled, demanding man when she was totally in the right and he was totally wrong?
He had no bloody right to get wound up. He did that all by himself.

HeebieJeebies456 · 23/01/2018 19:02

Lazy, entitled fuckers like the OP don't get any sympathy from me.

You know about the parking situation when you apply to send your child to that school so why not be considerate of the residents who actually live there?

OP could have easily parked up a street/block away and waited in/at the school and walked back to her car.
Instead she expects residents to park somewhere that not only inconveniences them but then expects that they should go to the trouble of moving their cars back after she's picked up her child.

I hope you get told to move from that spot every single time OP!

Curtainshopping · 23/01/2018 19:02

But if you want to keep parking on that road, it is helpful to work with the residents, or they will consider applying for residents' only parking, and then tends to make things worse for people who want to park just occasionally. You'd be parking a lot further away in that case.

The irony is, they probably won’t make it residents only, because of the school being there.

I really think if you’re the type of person who gets worked up by people parking outside your house, you should really move to somewhere where it’s not an issue. It can’t be much of a life getting tense and angry every day, not to mention bad for your health.

Flatwhite32 · 23/01/2018 19:02

I don't understand people getting annoyed at people parking outside their house, unless it is a private parking space, or their driveway is being blocked. People park outside where I live ALL the time, but as long as they don't block me in, I don't care as it's not my private piece of road! If you buy a house with no drive and no space, you need to take that into consideration! My DH sometimes has to park a bit away from our place, but he doesn't care, as the road isn't ours! Really don't understand the 'it's outside my house therefore it's my space' mentality.

GumsnNoses · 23/01/2018 19:03

You own a house, not a road, so the resident has got no more rights than anyone else to park outside it.

I do kind of see his perspective, in that it is annoying, but he handled this horribly and there's no excuse for banging on someone's window like that!

The school near me has awful parking problems, and I do feel for the residents - but what's the alternative? If it's not within walking distance and people need to drive, they need to park! As long as people are legally parked, not blocking drives/dropped kerbs etc., then really there shouldn't be any complaint.

ALSO The dogshit neighbour should be reported to the police.