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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if my marriage ever ends it will be because of SNORING!

129 replies

Bedsox · 21/01/2018 23:58

AngryAngryAngry

Aaarrgghhh I cant stand that fucking noise that comes out of my other wise lovely DH! I honestly dont remeber the last time we spent the night in bed together but we live in a small 2 bed house and his snoring radiates through the house waking me and my 18 month old dd!

Ive always hated the sound of snoring it fills me with rage i remeber just wanting to punch my DF in the face every time he fell asleep on the sofa!

DH knows his snoring is bad and rather selfishly fell asleep at 8pm banishing me to the bedroom with no telly so i tried watching documentries on you tube while knitting and that sound is soooooo disruptive. I dont want to sound dramatic but his constant snoring is ruining our lives i feel so tired and tearful! I cant use ear plugs as come the morning i become a very heavy sleeper probably because of exhaustion and im scared i wont hear my dd or alarm.

What can i do? I am on the verge of asking him to make other living arrangements which i dont want to do i love my DH so much but i can feel myself becoming resentful.

Thanks for reading any advice or coping tips welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 00:27

Anyone?? It was a murder documentry so im getting pretty confident i could dispose of his body successfully.. talk me down!

OP posts:
Weedsnseeds1 · 22/01/2018 00:50

Mine had a CPAP machine ( genetic condition, not overweight) and still manages to snore as well as the hissing from the machine.
I have to wear earplugs and get ear infections.
Fortunately I work away from home several nights a week and I'm so grateful.
He can't help it but it's justifiable homicide material.

Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 00:53

What does the machine do? What stages did he go through to get one? My Dh is currently slighty over weight not that you would notice as he is very tall but he has always snored like this even when i first met him he was really slim back then.

Haha if anyone asks we have been talking all night!

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 22/01/2018 00:59

I think he should go to see the GP. It might be sleep apnoea.

SunshineAllTheWhile · 22/01/2018 01:01

I’m posting with my silicone earplugs rammed so far into my ear canals I’m sure they meet in the middle somewhere BUT. I. CAN. STILL. HEAR. IT.

It sounds like a dying blue whale washed up on a beach (I imagine...)

We had separate bedrooms until DC2 arrived - now she has her own room I’m back in the torture chamber, sorry, marital bed...

Maybe we could be each other’s alibis?

Julie8008 · 22/01/2018 01:03

Yip get a CPAP machine, should stop snoring if its sleep apnoea.

Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 01:04

I keep telling him to go to gp and he puts it off which infuraites me because its not him affected its me and our child. I think il be telling him tomorrow he either goes to thr gp and insists on some kind of treatment or get refered for a diagnoses or he needs to find somewhere else to sleep. I just dont know how much longer i can cope.

I do also think i might have a sensitivity to certian sounds theres 2 sounds i cannot stand and thats snoring and the sound of a baby crying.. i have bever been able to bare those noises.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 01:05

Sunshine - the struggle is real. How do i get my hands on one of these machines?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/01/2018 01:05

Your husband needs to see a doctor about his snoring. No bullshit and no excuses not to go. It is completely unacceptable for him to be so disruptive to everyone else in the house. Is your husband overweight/obese?

Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 01:09

Aqua he is slightly over weight hes weighing at 16 and a half stone but he is 6'1 he was 14 and a half stone when we met and his snoring was exactly the same. Yes he really does its driving me up the wall. Poor dd hates the noise to and get scared when hes going full throttle.

OP posts:
Julie8008 · 22/01/2018 01:23

How do i get my hands on one of these machines?

From your DR, he needs to be referred to a sleep clinic so they can monitor him using it. They really do work but they are a medical breathing device so they dont hand them out easily.

MikeUniformMike · 22/01/2018 01:25

He needs to see the GP to rule out sleep apnoea, which can be fatal.

Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 01:32

Yes ive heard it can be a really serious condition i want to be sympathetic to DH and it is a huge worry for so i cant imagine how he feels but if he had gone to the gp back when i first asked him we would probably have this sorted... thats where the resentment comes in.

He wants us to try for another baby and honestly a year ago i would of jumped at it but right now all i can think is im struggling with the amount of sleep i get now without adding a new born baby into the mix. Dd is on the whole a very good sleeper shes actually been sleeping in until half 9/10 some days because shes so tired from being woken by DHs snoring.

OP posts:
thegreatbeyond · 22/01/2018 01:33

I know your pain, I really do :(

thegreatbeyond · 22/01/2018 01:35

Btw DH did go to the clinic and they said it wasn't apnoea, so here we still are...he won't lose weight, though, which is probably it because he is very big.

It is really disruptive and annoying.

Plumes · 22/01/2018 01:42

I understand your torment and you're not being dramatic. Not even a little bit. It's actual torture trying to sleep when a partner is snoring and he's being an utterly selfish git by not getting himself to the GP.

Download one of those snoring apps, record his snoring and play it back to him. And tell him he needs to address the problem today.

thebewilderness · 22/01/2018 01:43

The nose strips worked a treat for my mum. A heavy snorer but not from sleep apnea.
There isn't any medication in them they just hold the nasal passage open so the air can flow.

Original poster
Bedsox · 22/01/2018 01:52

Tried the strips they were useless for us... what i need is one of those shock collars for dogs i could zap him every time he snores... never going to happen but a girl can dream.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 22/01/2018 02:00

He needs to make an appointment to see the GP.
No excuses.

DreamGhost · 22/01/2018 02:01

Currently lying here listening to my DP snore so you have my sympathy. Mine is overweight and I find myself resenting him for not trying harder to lose some weight to see if that would stop the snoring.

It's caused arguments because he just goes into full on defence mode and says "you just think I'm fat!"

Honestly I just want a good night's sleep!

thebewilderness · 22/01/2018 02:11

Turn their feet to give yourself some temporary relief. It won't last but it might prevent a homicide.
It really works.
Separate rooms are your only hope.

CarolsSecretCookieRecipe · 22/01/2018 02:44

I'm a fellow sufferer from DH's nightly snoring. My DH put off going to the GP for years until I was ready to kick him out. He has been given a collar thing ("Night Shift Snoring Aid") to wear around his neck, which buzzes whenever he rolls onto his back. It works - when he wears it. He says it's too uncomfortable, so now we have arguments about him not wearing the collar.

Time40 · 22/01/2018 02:52

I know two men whose snoring got a lot better when they gave up all dairy foods.

RogueBiscuit · 22/01/2018 03:47

These men who think it's ok to deprive their wives of sleep due to snoring really annoy me. It's often seen as a minor issue or something funny buts it's anything but. I put up with it for years with my exh and in the end I hated him for it. Some nights I would not even get five minutes sleep and he would laugh it off and treat me like I was nagging.

It's really selfish that you're being badly affected yet he can't be arsed to see the gp. I'd have no problem issuing an ultimatum here, he'd be on the couch until it was sorted.