To think if my marriage ever ends it will be because of SNORING!

[Bedsox]

Aaarrgghhh I cant stand that fucking noise that comes out of my other wise lovely DH! I honestly dont remeber the last time we spent the night in bed together but we live in a small 2 bed house and his snoring radiates through the house waking me and my 18 month old dd!

Ive always hated the sound of snoring it fills me with rage i remeber just wanting to punch my DF in the face every time he fell asleep on the sofa!

DH knows his snoring is bad and rather selfishly fell asleep at 8pm banishing me to the bedroom with no telly so i tried watching documentries on you tube while knitting and that sound is soooooo disruptive. I dont want to sound dramatic but his constant snoring is ruining our lives i feel so tired and tearful! I cant use ear plugs as come the morning i become a very heavy sleeper probably because of exhaustion and im scared i wont hear my dd or alarm.

What can i do? I am on the verge of asking him to make other living arrangements which i dont want to do i love my DH so much but i can feel myself becoming resentful.

Thanks for reading any advice or coping tips welcome!

My husband used to snore all the time he was asleep and as I suffer from insomnia when I did get to sleep he would wake me up. He was obese and when the GP told him to lose weight for a medical condition he joined Weight Watchers and lost 11 stone. As soon as he started to lose weight he stopped snoring, it took a while to get used to the silence as I kept thinking he had stopped breathing. Two years on he says he feels better not only for losing weight but he gets a better nights sleep and I sleep better as well. How does he feel in the morning ? I didn't have a spare bedroom as I have 2 grown-up children still at home, all our lives are so much better. I hope you get some peace.

This would drive me crazy, not the snoring so much as the not caring about you, your well being or your health AT ALL.

He needs to go to the GP NOW

This should not even be a conversation - he should just go - bollocks to the health implications to him what about your sanity???

I’d he usually this selfish?
Not going is him essentially saying “fuck you Bedsox”

Mine had bad sleep apnoea and snored like a freight train but has been solved by the magic that is a CPAP machine.

In the meantime can you try earplugs and get DH to wake you in the mornings?

My DP is the same 10 years I've suffered it even my 4 & 6 year old is saying "dad your waking us up you need to sort it"

He is over weight but I don't think that's the problem because he was so skinny at one point you could see all his ribs ect and was still just as loud.

He's went on a diet which is good for his health but this won't help the snoring as I said when he was skinny he was still the same.

Drives me insane.. I'm currently listening to it right now I feel your pain

Ive always hated the sound of snoring it fills me with rage i remeber just wanting to punch my DF in the face every time he fell asleep on the sofa!

Yes!

There are only two solutions apart from the outrageous one you line out in your second original post at the start of this thread. One is for your DH to go and see his GP, and get scheduled for an operation, and/or to lose weight (if he's overweight). There is the issue of sleep apnoea to consider. The other is spelled "separate bedrooms" preferably a bit apart with you wearing earplugs in your bedroom and him snoring away in the other bedroom.

I couldn't get DH to give up ANY food, let alone all dairy :(

Has he tried one of the mouth pieces? You can buy them cheaply on eBay, they’re called snoring mouthpiece or likewise. DH moulds his to the shape of his teeth at home and wears it at night. Hasn’t stopped the snoring completely but has brought it to a much more tolerable level!

Fucking snoring!! Everyone apart from the baby have been ill this weekend. He says “we’ll have an early night”. I was just away to fall asleep when he started up and woke the baby who then wouldn’t settle again without feeding from me for what felt like hours!

That bastard fell asleep on his back knowing fine well he snores . He “can’t help it” despite the fact he’s done fuck all to do anything about it!

And breathe —clearly because I’m not a selfish bastard and can breathe clearly on my back—

I feel your pain. Genuinely think I will leave DH over it one day. He won't even see GP. In the middle of the night I think murderous thoughts.

Totally feel your pain OP.
DH is worse when he's had a drink or has a cold.
Murder is the only solution

A guy at works wife got him a snoring bracelet thing that basically gave him a shock if he snores so he’d move
Works well until one night he was awake reading and his wife snored and shocked him haha

I’m currently in the spare room as dh is snoring like a fucking warthog at the mo. He sneakily smokes and if he gets the opportunity to smoke a lot,he gets worse. Sometimes it’s bearable but sometimes the man ... well best I don’t Say in case I ever need an alibi

Dh lays flat on his back like a fuckingtoddler when he’s in snore mode, makes me sooo angry. It’s honestly like Japanese water torture isn’t it

How selfish - so he is happy to deprive the rest of the family of sleep, only for the reason that he can't be arsed to book a GP visit?

He may not need a CPAP, issue could be Basel polyps or anything really.
As PP said if he does need a CPAP he needs referral to a sleep clinic, you can't just buy one as there is a specific prescription for the amount of air etc. bit like glasses, they aren't a one size fits all thing.

You have my sympathy- snoring and the sleep deprivation that comes with it is absolutely awful.

I suffered for years - dh was always 'about to go to the doctors'. Things came to a head when we went away to a wedding & stayed in a hotel the night before, so there was no other room I could sleep in. Because of dh's snoring, I had zero sleep the night before and looked like absolute shite. The next morning, when he complained he was tired because he hadn't had a full eight hours I snapped. I pointed out how selfish he was, how awful constant exhaustion was and then said he had 3 months to do something or he would have to leave.

I don't recommend this method because; a) I only snapped because I was mad at looking so tired when i knew I'd be getting my photo taken and b) I'm not really sure I would've followed through with making him leave (he is lovely in all other ways). However he did go to the docs who confirmed he needed to lose weight. He then commuted to losing weight and his snoring is infinitely better. The difference it's made to me getting a decent nights sleep is amazing too.

Mine got referred to ENT for this. I was so excited at prospect of reducing the snoring, I went with him. But apparently he wasn't bad enough to warrant treatment! He needed to be falling asleep during the day and being at risk as motorist etc. It seems exhibiting sleep apnoea at night (to the point where he stops breathing for periods at a time) and snoring isn't enough. Sarky doctors comment pissed me right off too "and just because your wife is struggling to sleep is not a justifiable reason to treat you" -she clearly doesn't have a snory partner!

My DP is pretty terrible too. He's put on weight through drinking too much and it makes him snore like a fucking 747 on takeoff. When he's awake he says apologetically that I should wake him and he'll sleep on the sofa or in the spare room, but of course in practice when he's half asleep, he gets really cross with me for waking him up.

No ear plugs even make a dent in the sound; it's awful :(

Mine often falls asleep on the sofa and I actually haven't the heart to wake him as he works so hard. However, I can still hear him snoring through the floor! I do wear ear plugs but find they hurt my ears if I leave them in all night. When he does actually make it to bed, he snores nearly all night - the worst thing is when he turns over and snores and snorts all over me. He gets cross if I ask him to turn back again! I put an app on his phone which was supposed to wake him if he snored but he didn't like that and deleted it!!

I started to lose my hearing in my early 30s and now wear hearing aids. Frankly i think it's the only thing that has saved my marriage or at least the move to separate bedrooms. The snoring starts, i whip my aids out and voila, a full nights sleep. It's a somewhat extreme solution mind you.

I put an app on his phone which was supposed to wake him if he snored but he didn't like that and deleted it!!

Oh, so he does not like to be woken up by snoring?

He should go to the GP but not everyone who snores has apnea so that may not give you an answer.

There's an app he can get on his phone that shows how loud he snores and how long for, that might get him to see the problem that this is for you.

He could sleep wearing a tight fitting t shirt with corks stitched into the back to stop him rolling onto his back.

He could stop drinking and he could lose weight.

Or you could get divorced like we did, I sleep much better now.

At one point me and my husband slept in separate room for about 18 months and it was bliss because I didn’t have to listen to his bloody snoring.

However, about 7 months ago he moved back into our bedroom when I was about 36 weeks pregnant and I was miserable. I would say 4-5 nights out of the week I would either end up leaving the room to sleep somewhere else or I would be waking him and telling him to go somewhere else.

Once the baby was born and I was up a lot in the night anyway I told my husband that I just can’t cope with sharing a room with him and his snoring because I couldn’t handle how much he was disturbing mine and the babies sleep. He has been on the sofa now for about 4 months and I don’t feel remotely guilty. I sleep on a different floor of the house to him and I can still heat him snoring.

He keeps talking about the baby going into his nursery soon (baby is 5 months old) so he can come back into the bedroom and I’m absolutely dreading it. Not one part of me wants to share a room with my husband again.

I have no idea how to tell him this though....

There are medical options. Sleep apnoea is diagnosed by sleep studies and CPAP wouldn’t be given out just for snoring. Does your DH have episodes of stopping breathing at night followed by an extra loud snorty/grunty breath?
Other options include ENT surgery if there are any polyps/large tonsils or uvula.

Then there’s obviously weight loss and stopping alcohol most nights.

Snoring is awful for everyone. Sleep apnoea is dangerous long term and incapacitating for short term (fall asleep on the day, permanently tired).

If my DH had severe snoring every night and didn’t try to fix it, I’d have to ask him to leave. Sleep deprivation is utter torture.

Queen - why not tell as it is, that his snoring is unbearable and keeps you up all night. And he should do something about it if he wants to share a room.

katharin - he’s just so dismissive of it. He doesn’t believe husbands and wives should be in separate bedrooms and he thinks I’m just using his snoring as an excuse not to share a bed with him.

I remember being 39+3 weeks pregnant and I was squeezed onto the end of my other child’s single bed whilst he slept just because I couldn’t bear to spend the night with my husband.

He always says “just wake me up if I snore” but there’s no bloody point because he just rolls over, goes straight back to sleep and starts snoring again. It’s unbearable.

I think when we move the baby into his own room I’m going to buy a single bed and move in their with him and DH can have the marital bed to himself.

He keeps moaning that he’s got back ache from sleeping on the sofa and having done it for so many months but nothing he says will ever make me feel guilty enough to allow him back into the bedroom with me.

Thank you soo much for all the replys on this! I always knew people suffered with partners that snored but i never knew to what degree! Thank you all for not making me feel like a complete lunatic about feeling tearful over it.

Some of these stories and suggestions have really made me laugh!

I am worrie also the doctor is going to say that just because I'm being affected its not a good enough reason for treatment. Husbands gp is quite dismissive from what ive heard.

I have told DH this morning he is to go back to his gp and tell her that the weight loss recommendation alone is not good enough and his wife said not to come back home until he has been referred to a specialist i have also told DH we will go on a health kick together so he can shed the extra weight he is carrying (i dont believe its the cause of his snoring but at least that way he can't het fobbed off by a specialist)

DH is usually really considerate and 9/10 i cannot fault him as a father or a husband he listened this morning after i burst into tears and has said he will come home after work for some family time and then around 10 he is going to go over to my DF to sleep to give me dd a break. (He stays there ususally if i ever have girls night or if i am ill df sleeps like a log and snores like a train and isnt bothered by DH snoring) he also said he will get a gp appointment and he will tell his doctor what i said.

Just to clarify me and dh already sleep seperately but our house is tiny so you can hear everything.

Seeing his face this morning when he saw how much of an impact this is having on my emotional well being really killed me i think finally realised.