Left out?

[Pingu30]

Feel a little shocked/upset.

My boyfriend (of three years) has been invited to one of his best mates weddings. The invite has come through the door is addressed to him and him only and has no mention of a +1.

It looks as though the bride-to-be has written it, rather than his friend. But still?

@Haffiana

Isn't separating a partner from their friends Step 1 in emotionally abusive relationships. No wonder they didn't want you around.

@Aeroflotgirl hahaha yes, I'm sure she wouldn't be annoyed about it. After all, we're all allowed our own friends 😂

@pingu I do agree on that point I said earlier I find it weird the groom doesn't want to invite you if he's met you. Of course he should get a say on the guest list as well! but if I were you i definitely wouldn't invite her to my wedding

*I love how you're all putting the BRIDE wants into consideration. Do your men have no say in anything?

If you'd not met a woman but your groom had, she's not allowed?

That's some under the thumb men you have*

Well he obviously didn't think it was important you were invited hence why you haven't been.

And what respect you showed to your DH whose friends they were, eh

DH could have hung out with them on his own if he wanted to. I just made my own decision to avoid them after they clearly indicated they didn't see me as a friend. I'm entitled to refuse to see people who I feel don't like me! DH made his own choice of whether to see them on his own or spend time with his wife.

I invited plus ones that I never met to my wedding, for me it was very rude not to, espcially if they were already a part of an established couple like op. Op you know the groom, that's enough, does the groom not get a say in the guest list?

Bella you are entitled to do that! You do not have to be in their company, you are not stopping him meeting his friends. I totally agree with you,.

After all Bella, couples are allowed their own friends and are not stuck to each other like glue, are they not! He made his own decision, I don't know why you are jumping down Bella neck.

Mabey just mabey, Bellas husband was upset at his wife not being invited and made his decision based on that.

I would never dream of inviting 1 person from a couple to my wedding.

I would have understood if you were a new partner but the fact your engaged, living together and have a child is odd.

I probably wouldn't attend if I was invited to a wedding and my other half or husband wasn't.

YANBU as weddings are shit without your other half IMO but they can invite who they like. If it was a very small wedding I would understand but not for a big one.

Also... the invite is for both day AND night. I'd be less bothered if I was included in night but not day..

Has your partner asked if your invited?

Is it a no children wedding. These are gaining popularity, maybe she assumes you'll be looking after your son as your son, also obviously, isn't invited ??

I think it's mean not inviting you.

Many will say YABU but it is shit to be left out. I’ve been to a few weddings alone due to DH’s work and I’ve enjoyed all of them much less than when he was there, including my best friend’s wedding.

No he's not really made comment. He just put the invite to one side and hasn't mentioned it since
Tbh I'm not sure he'll have even noticed an issue as he's not the type to put two and two together like I would. I haven't said anything as I wanted opinions first.

If/when the penny drops, I think he'll try to avoid it at all costs as he just likes to keep the peace.

Send them a toaster and don’t invite her to yours!

I would talk to your DH about it and see what he feels.

I think the relationship sounded casual to posters because you referred to him as your boyfriend rather than your DP, which is actually what he is. No, I've never been invited to special events without DH or vice versa. It wouldn't have occurred to me not to invite a friend's DP, even if I'd never met them. It does seem off to me so YANBU.

We invited a number of people to our wedding that DH wanted there but that I’ve never met. And vice versa.

I think it’s spectacularly rude and possibly an error. I’d get your DP to make contact with his mate to check.

There was a thing in the Sunday times style magazine a few weeks ago about how people weren't doing plus 1s anymore because it would mean they couldn't afford flower walls or sweet stands to plaster all over Instagram.

Maybe you're a victim of this (if it really is a thing!) but it seems rude to me.

Some of my dh's female friends were at our wedding when I'd only met them a handful of times, one i don't think I'd met at all. They're his friends, and part of a group of men and women that I don't really socialise with. It wouldn't have occured to me not to invite them. I'm with you OP I would be a bit hurt too.

people weren't doing plus 1s anymore because it would mean they couldn't afford flower walls or sweet stands to plaster all over Instagram

If I had a column to write and wanted attention I'd say that too.

Doesn't make it true.

In the circles I move in, nobody ever has a "plus one". Only named people are invited.

On the plus side, weddings can be hard going if you don't know anyone other than your DP. In this case he will be busy socialising with his friends so you might be left on your own quite a bit.

And so what if someone wants to spend the money on flowers and sweet carts, they could spend all their money on a big statue of bon jovi and only invite the cashier from Lidl, it’s their wedding.