Left out?

[Pingu30]

Feel a little shocked/upset.

My boyfriend (of three years) has been invited to one of his best mates weddings. The invite has come through the door is addressed to him and him only and has no mention of a +1.

It looks as though the bride-to-be has written it, rather than his friend. But still?

So @bella if hypothetically one of your female friends organised a woman-only meal or night out because she wanted to catch up with her girlfriends without partners around that would be grounds for ending the friendship would it?

I think not including "plus one" is common enough that it's worth asking. If it was my friend who only named me on the invite, I'd just check. Simplest way.

YABU. Really don't see the issue. There are all kinds of reasons for not inviting +1s so I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe they have a family member who has a PITA +1 so they decided to leave all +1s off to avoid issues at their wedding, maybe they really don't have the budget for +1s, all kinds of reasons.

bella and because you wanted no more to do with them your dh has to end the friendship?
I think my dh’s bf is an arse, I just don’t hang out with him.

I've been invited to weddings without my DH and he's been invited to weddings without me. Those have been work friends for both of us though where numbers have been limited and it's been a case of our friend saying to the group in work in advance 'we're really sorry but we can't invite partners'. It's never been a problem. Have to say I would feel odd about it if it was a close friend of either of us though. Even one I'd rarely met. If they're that close I'd definitely get your partner to clarify with his friend

Be sure to leave DP to it for the card and gift!

Your engaged and have a son together, very rude. That would put me off.

Hi OP I don't think YABU. It is hurtful and I would feel shit about it but don't stress about it some people are just thoughtless...but that's a reflection on them / her not you. Treat yourself to something nice on the day...you don't have to buy a new dress or accessories so spend it on something you will enjoy! xx

Sounds deliberate to me...

'You can't be friends with only half of a couple and exclude the other half.'

You can't? That's funny, DH and I both have friends that are just our own. I've even gone to see some friends on my own. And he as well.

'After the friend had made it clear that I wasn't regarded as a friend, I didn't want anything further to do with them.'

TBH, I can kind of see where he's coming from. And if your DH is so under your thumb, they're probably better off without the two of you. I certainly wouldn't want a friend who didn't see her/himself as anything but part of a pair and took umbrage at everything that didn't include their boyfriend/partner/spouse/girlfriend/whatever.

Exactly skinny, don't invite her to the wedding. Let him sort gifts and cards.

So @bella if hypothetically one of your female friends organised a woman-only meal or night out because she wanted to catch up with her girlfriends without partners around that would be grounds for ending the friendship would it?

A wedding isn't a woman-only event though. Lots of couples will be invited, unless the bride and groom have specifically chosen to exclude people.

I'm with you OP.

I think it's exceptionally rude not to invite long term partners to a wedding. I wouldn't lose sleep over it if I was on the receiving end of this but it's still bloody rude.

Glad everyone on here has feelings of steel. Very funny they are celebrating their relationship going further, yet exclude the best friends Fiancé, very hypocritical. Op has every right to her feelings, just because you woukd not feel one way, does not mean she is not allowed.

When I have been invited as a “1” it has been within a group such as cousins, friends and colleagues and have generally known before the invite arrived. Have no problem going to a wedding without DP but would like to be in the knowledge I would at least be sat with people I know and in similar circumstances.

Even a 'not small' wedding can end up with a squeeze on guests. We're having 70,which is medium ish, and it's a bit of a heartache to look at new or never met partners taking the place of dear friends.

We are inviting 3 people we've never met or don't really want there - an uncle's girlfriend (to be fair, I'm thrilled for him, he's been alone so long), a husband of a friend who openly snipes at my fiance (really hoping he says no), and a really fun but barely known girlfriend (ok, she'll be awesome, but I have other long-term friends I'd rather invite).

I didn't invite partners of friends to my wedding.. all were pleased about it tbh.

I had 50 places and they could either come without partner or not. I wasn't going to invite people I'd never met or only met once or twice over my friends and family.

They were welcome to come to the evening reception, which a couple of them did.

If my partner had a friend who was married or engaged or living with a partner, even if I hadn't met them, I would assume a family unit and invite both or neither.

I think it's rude.

I find it immensely rude to invite half of a couple to any social event - it's disrespectful to their relationship and not much fun for the one who's invited on their own. DH's friends did this years ago (invited him to their wedding but not me). I was extremely offended; needless to say I avoided them after that, which resulted in them growing apart from DH because I wouldn't have anything to do with them. We probably haven't seen them for 4-5 years now. I guess they should have respected the fact that we come as a pair!

Well hey, you really showed them didn't you. And what respect you showed to your DH whose friends they were, eh?

I think it’s really rude to only invite one half of a couple unless its a particular ‘group’ and you can’t fit all of their +1’s in as well. That group might be a hobby, work friends or whatever. It’s totally unacceptable for ‘good friends’. It’s about respecting their relationship & making the person you have invited feel welcome & comfortable at your wedding, it doesn’t matter how well you know their partner.

You've never even met her? Why on earth should you be invited?

Ah well op.
One less on your guest list!

I love how you're all putting the BRIDE wants into consideration. Do your men have no say in anything?

If you'd not met a woman but your groom had, she's not allowed?

That's some under the thumb men you have

Funnily enough I wouldn't be as childish as that 😂.

I'd make a point of still inviting her. She is a partner of a friend, she should be invited.

YOur a bigger person than me Pingu as I woulden't. You know, you don't have to op, she is not entitled to an invite, and she does not have to be invited, he is not stuck onto her :-D