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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious teachers keep sitting 'naughty' kids next to my 'angelic' DC

464 replies

Flaky · 18/01/2018 09:21

So he is then upset by them being mean to him and doesn't want to go to school?

This is at least the 3rd occasion a kid like this has been moved next to him.

Last year the teacher admitted that she had done it so DS's good influence rubs off but why should he suffer for it?

He's the youngest in the class as well (Yr2)and some of these DC are almost a whole year older.

Isn't this just very lazy teaching?

OP posts:
DailyMailReadersAreThick · 18/01/2018 20:00

(Should have said attempted suicide... obviously, I didn't succeed Smile)

TeaAndToast85 · 18/01/2018 20:02

I would love to invite all the people who are advocating putting all the ' naughty' kids together to have a go with that in my classroom and then watch at the back, with popcorn. We would start with the Y9 class I have last lesson tomorrow.

goodbyestranger · 18/01/2018 20:02

UpABitLate you can't tell me that my words meant something different to that intended simply because you read them wrong. I meant exactly what I said I meant. You've just put an odd construction on the words. It really is probably better to move on.

To seriously contemplate suicide (in the sense of being likely to follow up on those thoughts) because of a seating plan placing a quiet child next to a disruptive child is unlikely without there being much more serious issues also in play.

To seriously contemplate suicide is incredibly serious.

goodbyestranger · 18/01/2018 20:03

That was a stupid last sentence, admittedly.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 18/01/2018 20:04

Are there many people saying that all the naughty children should be sat together

Or just a few

I can't be bothered to check the thread so its a genuine question

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 18/01/2018 20:05

goodbye

That poster did explain that she was being bullied

goodbyestranger · 18/01/2018 20:05

DMRAT seating a serious bully next to the victim is a different matter entirely. The thread isn't about that situation which is frankly astonishing on the part of the teacher.

TeaAndToast85 · 18/01/2018 20:06

Ps. I don't agree with always inflicting the more difficult kids on the quieter/well behaved kids...I change the seating plans regularly and try to keep things fair. But a table full of naughty kids? Asking for it

goodbyestranger · 18/01/2018 20:07

Cross post Rufus. Yes, different situation entirely and not the subject of the thread. My bad.

TeaAndToast85 · 18/01/2018 20:07

@Rufustherenegadereindeer1 a fair few

UpABitLate · 18/01/2018 20:09

goodbye she's literally just posted and said a bit more about what happened.

Why don't you address her directly? Rather than discussing what happened to her as if she wasn't right here on the thread.

DailyMail I'm sorry you had such a terrible time, when you're a child you're so powerless and there's no choice but to go to school. "Bullies get a kick out of what they do. Trying to 'cure' them by seating them next to their victims is ridiculous." couldn't agree more.

UpABitLate · 18/01/2018 20:10

xposts and more wtf

the whole thread is full of people who have told stories about being bullied in this situation.

UpABitLate · 18/01/2018 20:12

The OPs very opening line is "So he is then upset by them being mean to him and doesn't want to go to school?"

Obviously the thread includes bullying which is why so many people have told stories about being bullied in this situation.

When the child next to you is mean to you all the time to the point where you can't face going to school, that sounds like bullying to me.

It is literally the entire point of the thread.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 18/01/2018 20:14

Thank you UpABitLate

I'm not sure what goodbyestranger is on about (I'll talk about her as if she's not here as apparently that's the thing to do...) since the title of this thread is "naughty kids" and the first line is about the OP's child "upset" because said kid is being "mean" and now the child doesn't want to go to school. I've no idea how it's apparently a totally different situation that I was seated next to nasty kids who made me grateful to be in hospital during my SATs year rather than sat next to them...

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 18/01/2018 20:14

Cross post with UABL but I see we said the same thing!

FlyingElbows · 18/01/2018 20:15

I would seriously advocate that those who are so forthright about their angelic children (and every parent really) go in to school and volunteer for a bit because some of you are very clearly armchair experts. It would take about 15 minutes of observation for you to start thinking "oh... actually...".

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 18/01/2018 20:18

teaandtoast

A fair few...now thats not helpful Grin

UpABitLate · 18/01/2018 20:19

I don't really know either dailymail, I think she's got an idea in her head of what this is all about and what sort of people do what sort of things or something and isn't actually reading what's being written.

AaronPurrSir · 18/01/2018 20:27

flyingelbows so the people who have first hand experience of going through this themselves as children, their experiences are unimportant...?

Alpacaandgo · 18/01/2018 20:27

Any teacher that puts disruptive children next to well behaved ones which ultimately makes the well behaved child's life a bloody misery is a total twat. And a shit teacher.

It shouldn't happen. Same goes for the naughty kids always getting the good stuff to do in the hope it will make the teachers life easier as they might not kick off today. Makes me rage. Those teachers are selfish shits and have zero clue the impact it has on the kids who try hard and keep themselves out of trouble.

And the teachers on here who say it works, we have to do it. Bollocks. It doesn't bloody work. You do it because it makes YOUR life easier. I have huge respect for good teachers and I've known a fair few. I have no respect for ones who puts their own selfish needs above a child's education.

goodbyestranger · 18/01/2018 20:30

It's perfectly straightforward DMRAT, and UpABitLate. The situation of a bully being paired on a seating plan with the victim of that bulling is a) incredibly odd and b) not the very common situation of a disruptive child being paired with a higher achieving non disruptive child. They are two very different situations and I'm having difficulty understanding how DMRAT's teacher could ever have thought that appropriate. That said, I don't think DMRAT should hijack the thread with his or her own story since it clearly is very singular and not the situation which is the subject of the thread, however traumatic for him/ her.

Original poster
Flaky · 18/01/2018 20:30

Update - DS came out of school very happy as he has been moved to a new table.

Teacher did not bother to contact me as I requested (left note with office as notes in home school book are often ignored) but DS said she spoke to him and asked him what the problem was.

Problem solved.

OP posts:
goodbyestranger · 18/01/2018 20:33

Aaron why is their account more weighty than my DD's account which is no doubt similar to many others? Frequently this will be productive for one child and relatively neutral for the other.

kaitlinktm · 18/01/2018 20:34

Unfortunately, despite the lip service paid, nobody gives too much of a shit about high achievers because their scores are never going to be embarrassing on a league table

But of course they can still show up badly on the value added figures - which I think still are part of the league tables - certainly they figure highly in inspections.

I was one of those quiet girls (way back in the 60s, and yes, it happened then) and yes I sympathise and certainly parents should inform school if they feel the seating arrrangement is detrimental to their child's learning or well-being.

But as a semi-retired (secondary) teacher I am SO glad not to have to fiddle about with seating plans any more. I never could get it right. All the naughty ones together at the front was a disaster. Sitting them next to hard-working kids wasn't fair. Scattering them about the room never seemed to work either.

A lot of it depends how good the management in the school are at supporting classroom teachers with challenging behaviour from pupils. Unfortunately what many of them do is just pass on the blame. If your lesson had been interesting enough then Jimmy wouldn't have thrown that rubber at Sophie and hurt her (not sitting next to her you understand). You put them in detention and spend even more of your time with them (if they turn up - if they don't, then that's another job for you - ringing parents to chase them up).

Amusingly, with one class, I was told by the Deputy Head on four different days to seat yet another pupil at the front "on his/her own" following a request from parents - trouble is, I had 30 places and 30 pupils - what was I supposed to do? FML

UpABitLate · 18/01/2018 20:34

Yet another uplifting and empathetic post from goodbye there Confused

Flaky - I'm glad your DS is happy again.

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