To be furious teachers keep sitting 'naughty' kids next to my 'angelic' DC

[Flaky]

So he is then upset by them being mean to him and doesn't want to go to school?

This is at least the 3rd occasion a kid like this has been moved next to him.

Last year the teacher admitted that she had done it so DS's good influence rubs off but why should he suffer for it?

He's the youngest in the class as well (Yr2)and some of these DC are almost a whole year older.

Isn't this just very lazy teaching?

I seem to be a lone voice but I didn't have an issue with DD

As i said in my post ds1 had no problem in junior school and early senior school

In a class virtually full of badly behaved, disruptive children in year 10 (one particular subject) he struggled

UpABitLate very well said.

I too found Maisy and Jaunty’s posts patronising and dismissive of the feelings of the “good” children.

As I’ve already said, being victim to this massively affected my schooling. There was one subject I had loved all through primary school, and have done as a hobby for all of my adult life since leaving secondary school, that I hated and dropped at the first opportunity in year 9, because the teacher employed these tactics and constantly put me in a group with the naughty kids.

I learnt nothing in those classes, absolutely nothing. And it turned me off a subject I had previously, and have since, loved. It actually makes me really sad.

And if I ever lost my temper with the naughty kids I was forced to work with after they had pushed me that bit too far (and I have a very thick skin and do not lose it easily), then I was the one who was punished, not them.

I’m sorry but any teacher who employs these tactics is lazy and shit, and in the wrong profession.

Only in the UK do you label young children good/bad.

It breaks my heart. Well done all of those of your good/superior children. Them and you must be protected from those who find it harder at School.

Only in the uk

If teachers dealt with the bullying and the disruption and met the child's needs no one would heed protection from anyone.

WTF none of the women on here who have told their stories around this have described themselves as "superior".

Where is this stuff coming from? Are people not reading the posts or something? I suppose as the posts are written by those who were once quiet, "good" girls, the idea that how they feel is unimportant is somehow being reinforced on the thread?

Finding it harder does not give you permission to stab someone woth a compass or shut their hand in a drawer or stop others doing their work.

No one learns that way

My ds is one of those quite children. A head down won’t bother the teacher types will finish all his work. In yr1 he decided he hated school really took a huge step back didn’t want to go, wouldn’t answer questions in front of other students. Because he kept being paired with the naughty kid for everything which meant him being verbally and physically harmed. His yr4 now and the naughty kid has left the school. My ds still won’t put his hand up to answer a question, won’t tell the teacher someone has hurt him his self confidence nose dived and although bit by bit slowly it’s recovering his still not as confidant now as he was the start of yr1. Thankfully this year he has his yr2 teacher again who really did help him loads where we recorded a feelings diary etc but his going to explode one day and honestly.

Yes of course it's self centred not to give any thought to the disruptive child.

Also, driven to contemplate suicide because of being able but required to sit next to a less able and disruptive child? We are not talking about children who are so disruptive they're in SEMH schools, since we're talking mainstream.

Who has equated good to superior Lndnmummy??
If you took the time to read properly you would realise that people are making a valid point about the crap that their children might be having to put up with on a DAILY basis.
You will realise they are making a distinction between SEN kids and naughty kids. People are complaining about disruptive behaviour not SEN.
The naughty kids aren't always bottom of the set in ability. The good kids aren't always the highest achievers in the class.
My DC has areas she struggles with at school but is one of the good girls who gets sat next to the naughty kids. Why the hell should she suffer gaps in her knowledge just because your child can't shut up and behave in class??

Ah

So now that poster and presumably the others who have told their stories are, what, lying? Or, were they just weak. You have said they are self centred.

I think that telling quiet uncomplaining children that if they express upset they are self centred is disgusting. Telling a woman who was suicidal that she was self centred.

This is bringing out some really really nasty attitudes. Why do quiet uncomplaining children not deserve support, why should they be viewed as self centred and weak if they can't cope with difficult behaviour from classmates they have been placed with?

No wonder they don't tell anyone. It's in their nature, and they are receiving the message loud and clear that it will be ignored anyway. That they are not important. That to care about themselves in any way is self centred.

This sounds like old style army conditioning or something.

Do a lot of people really dislike quiet children or something?

Maybe the split on the thread here is just showing what sort of children we were.

This happens to my daughter - she's not a high achiever but is a hard worker and well behaved. I've actually had to complain today because due to a few friendship issues the teacher had to move people around, she ended up next to a girl who is always causing trouble. she hates being sat next to those who won't concentrate and as she struggles academically anyway I don't think she should have to deal with badly behaved children next to her who are distracting. As a mum it's easy - I only have my childs best interests at heart but for a teacher of, say 30 children, she Has to have an equal interest in each child and try to manage all the different dynamics.

I'm actually saying that thinking only of one's own child is self centred, not that a young child is self centred. Entirely different point.

UpABitLate I hope you see the distinction, since it's very clear.

You were replying to my post which was talking about the children being self centred.

"And another post who says well the ones who had psychological issues, whose self confidence was destroyed, who attempted suicide,

Yeah

They're just self centred aren't they."

"Yes of course it's self centred not to give any thought to the disruptive child. "

My daughter is one these 'angelic' if by that you mean she would never be nasty to another child. But I've brought her up to be kind even in the face of adversity. If a child is nasty then i say to her to continue to be nice and explain sometimes children aren't brought up the same and don't have the same upbringing, as in their parents might not be very good parents. So the child may not know how to express themselves in a good way towards others because thats all they know. So despite these children being "naughty" or whatever my child will always show kindness and present them with a card a christmas or share her food becuase maybe if this naughty child is shown the right way to behave maybe they will come round to being better behaved

get him moved, its not his responsibility to "help" and trouble maker. its only going to make a intelligent child hate school. I really don't know why teachers do this. the problem child remains the same but the good child is just warn down by their distracting behaviour.

xposts

You answered my post directly. I would've seen the distinction immediately if it made any sense whatsoever in the conversation.

Oh dear.

UpABitLate the sentence 'Yes of course it's self centred not to give any thought to the disruptive child' refers to the parents here not the children themselves.

You read it wrong that's all. That's fine. Going off on one less so.

Erm no I didn't.

You answered my post directly. It's right there and quite obvious.

Patronising me won't make the words on the screen disappear.

Also, driven to contemplate suicide because of being able but required to sit next to a less able and disruptive child?

I can well believe this of a sensitive child

You also referred to children in the next line of your post, which also implies the whole post is about children. If you didn't mean it that way maybe you need to proof read a bit better before you type.

"Yes of course it's self centred not to give any thought to the disruptive child.

Also, driven to contemplate suicide because of being able but required to sit next to a less able and disruptive child? We are not talking about children who are so disruptive they're in SEMH schools, since we're talking mainstream."

You also raised question marks around that PPs story. Do you think she is lying? Exaggerating? That she was weak to be driven to such upset by what was going on in school? Again, not very clear.

I believe that children can and do bully each other and it can lead to a catastrophic effect on the bullied child. I believe this can happen in mainstream schools. I believe the poster when she says she was suicidal over it.

These kids don't need people to "think of them" they need teaching and supporting.

Thinking about then for hours at a time won't do a bloody thing.

Much like pretending their problems don't exist by picking kids who won't tell you about it

I suppose a lot of people do see mental health issues / self harm / suicide attempts as self centred don't they.

It's back to this different personality types thing. Some children are quiet and do as they're told and don't complain and put up and shut up and unless you look carefully it can be hard to see what's going on inside until the damage has been done. It happens. Lots of women on this thread have said it happened to them.

Thank you for the kind comments @whiskyowl and @Italiangreyhound

I'm not sure why a certain poster is playing into the myth that children with SEN are badly behaved. None of the children who bullied me to suicide had SEN and, in fact, the children with statements (as they were when I went to school) were mostly quiet, kind, and non-disruptive. Bad behaviour does not equal SEN and vice versa.

Newsflash: all children are sometimes nasty or naughty. It's human nature. Nobody is kind and compliant all the time. Some kids are nasty and naughty more than others for a variety of reasons, few of which are related to SEN. Bullies get a kick out of what they do. Trying to 'cure' them by seating them next to their victims is ridiculous.