If you have worked all day, and looked after kids, and have glandular fever, and cooked dinner... your DH should choose to help you rather than go out for a fucking run?!

[MaryPoppinsPenguins]

I’m so bloody exhausted. But I’m in a new role that’s my dream job so I can’t have loads of time off sick. So I’m working... and then looking after kids (4 SN and 7)... then I cooked dinner. Just pasta. But still... I’m dead on my feet. House is a mess, I can’t swallow. Kids are still up.

DH decides to go out for a long run and have a long bath.

Disclaimer, he is training for the marathon. But seriously. I need to lay down. I feel like I’m dying. It’s 9.30 and I still haven’t managed to get the 4yo to sleep and he’s laying in the bath with his eyes closed.

Plus. My mum is coming tomorrow. I cannot have her see my house like this.

I just needed to vent. I’m fucked off.

I don’t think your mum will judge you. If she knows you’ve been ill and she’s coming round on the proviso that she’s going to help; she sounds pretty nice and not judgey. She’ll have been there before herself I’m sure, ill and behind on housework. It happens.

I would definitely bring it up with him though; he can’t just mentally check out of his family life until marathon day. That’s not fair, and as you’ve seen with other posters; people are getting by on less training than your DH.

Isnt glandular fever highly infectious? Im shocked your employer is happy for you to go to work with that. Hardly fair on the other employees.

What on earth? Have you told him his behaviour is unacceptable? A tactical shitfit may be in order.

I’m working from home... but I was still on the computer all day and had a huge deadline... and conference calls (that the dog barked through ) and had loads to do when all I want to do is sleep. I was still answering emails at 8pm.

MaryPoppinsPenguins

Working from home doesn’t mean ‘do the housework’, it’s done to give people flexibility with childcare and spend less time commuting. It also allows for companies to spend less on office space. You’re working, and pulling in a wage regardless of the job’s location.

Usually I work at a children’s hospital in London. But I’m lucky that I can be at home this week. But I’m still stressed that they’re going to be pissed off with me... I’m so new that they don’t know I’m not a serial call-in-sicker (which I’m not)...

My mum is lovely, but there’s no way I can let her arrive to a sink full of washing up and kids toys everywhere. It’s like I’m expecting her to do it, and she’s doing enough already. I feel really guilty.

In your situation I would have told him that he’s making dinner and putting kids to bed.

If he said he’s going for a run, you should’ve said ‘no you’re not’.

My dh is known for his tactless moves like this. I swift and firm response is required, and some direction, otherwise he’d take the piss 🤔

longdistance that’s a really good idea.

Man with a hobby

Everything else can go fuck itself sadly.

OP - you need to rest with GF. There is a risk of post viral fatigue syndrome if you don't. Your health is a million times more important than your H's marathon.

I worked so hard all my life and pushed myself far too much because I had no help. I am seriously ill now with an autoimmune disease and won't get better. I have so many regrets.

Please insist your husband pulls his weight and let your mum help you.

Of course it was cheeky of your DH to go for a run. Get a cleaner in. Why should you work and come home to a mess.

If you were my daughter I would put you to bed and tidy up. I'd also have a word with your husband that he wouldn't forget.

Christ on a bike. Make a list of the stuff that needs to be done. Get your dh to do it.

Why the fuck would your poor mum come and put away your Xmas decs and walk your dog when you have a healthy dh?????????

What a useless bellend he is.

Did you tell him you needed him at home? He could have run tomorrow - the world doesn’t end if you change your running schedule

Glandular fever is serious and you need to rest. It can lead to post viral fatigue which may be difficult to shift. Go to bed and say there till you feel better

I've had flu this week so my husband has skipped all his triathlon training and done 100% of the housework, cooking and looking after the kids including all night wake ups. He couldn't even take a shower yesterday morning because the 19 month old wouldn't be put down and I was out for the count. He hasn't complained once and I would do the same for him in a heartbeat. We are a team and we'd never let the other one suffer
I'm sorry he's so shit

No he's being selfish, I'd be in a ball of tears by now & I would've chucked the toys at him, I mean why can't he sort the bloody toys out? Tell him straight - give him a list of things to do. You deserve a break whether you're ill or not!

Why on Earth isn’t your DH walking the dog or taking it with him on his run.

I’d have pulled the plug out his bath but then my DH would never be that selfish. Hope your mum gives him an earful tomorrow and hope you feel better soon

Ltb!!!

Your DH should be ashamed of himself. How selfish can you get? Your mum is coming to help you, she won’t judge you. You are unwell. Go to bed ASAP and tell DH he is in charge. If he doesn’t help then next time he goes out for a run tell him keep running and don’t come back!

That's appalling that he hasn't walked the dog. I really couldn't be fucked with a DH like this.

I can’t believe he didn’t run you the bath and take over while you had it.

Just go to bed, tell him to sort stuff out.
Your mum can tidy the house tomorrow.

Hide the bath plug.