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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Borrowed and almost destroyed a car

292 replies

Muffette · 16/01/2018 22:35

Before Christmas I was having car trouble and needed to get some work done on my car. My father generously loaned me one of his cars. He is generous like that and I was extremely grateful. He told me several times that the car needed a service at 30k miles and he would take it back from me then. He is very careful with everything and gets his cars serviced every 10k miles. I felt very secure driving his car knowing that it was so well cared for it was unlikely to break down (unlike my own jalopy).

As the car reached 30k the service light came on (a spanner light), I told him and we arranged to swap cars a week or so later. l didn't do much mileage in that time and so handed his car back with thank you's and so on. When he got home he dipped the engine to check the oil and discovered that it was nearly empty, he called the garage and they came with a tow truck to collect the car and bring it to their garage. He is beyond livid with me and will not speak to me. Now I know I should stick more rigorously to "neither a borrower nor a lender be" but I was in a pickle and he insisted at the time.

The thing is, should a car which is serviced every 10k run out of oil? (assuming the oil is changed at every service) and secondly, am I really thick not to have dipped the oil myself? Honestly, it never occurred to me. I checked the manual to make sure the light was an automated one and not something more sinister. At no time did the oil light come on. I am really upset at being so thick but at the same time my father is often very angry with me (i am in my 40's btw, not 19) and I really didn't need this excuse for him to turn on me again. However, I feel that his reaction to me is extreme, AIBU? (would you have thought to check the oil?)

OP posts:
MrPan · 17/01/2018 12:25

OP, he isn't charging you for the tow costs because there isn't any tow cost.

Notevilstepmother · 17/01/2018 12:35

He is being quite dramatic. Yes, checking the oil once in a while is a good idea, but if it is low you put more oil in, you don’t need a tow truck ffs. For general information if the oil pressure light comes on you shouldn’t drive it without any oil becuase that can damage it, but that just means getting someone to fetch you some oil to put in it, not a tow truck. If you put oil in and it all comes out again in a big puddle then that might be tow truck time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/01/2018 12:40

He blamed his sister for falling asleep at the wheel. . Ummm. That’s not barking at all.

RUN

I agree with MrPan. There are no tow costs

RUN

Snowysky20009 · 17/01/2018 12:41

Thanks for reminding be toncheck mine.......well asking dp to check....

wonkylegs · 17/01/2018 12:49

You'd have to do rather more than not check the oil for 5wks on a 3yo Toyota to destroy it.
My toyota (just got rid of it after 13yrs - sold it to a friend so I know it's still being loved) was bomb proof which is partly why I loved it so much - it was also so reliable and cheap to fix although I rarely had anything to fix.
I looked after it but not obsessively and even when I was child free and had spare hands and time I only would have checked the oil every month to 6wks or if I was going on a long road trip.... which is what the garage told me to do. As the kids came along I probably was less diligent.
Your dad sounds like a drama queen.

specialsubject · 17/01/2018 13:13

More to this than oil, isn't there...

All those who never check - do it. It doesn't get checked at the m o t and for all you know, not at the service. Levels and tyre pressures once a month or more often. And please, it is 2018 - if you are able bodied then do it yourself, you aren't Scarlett o hara!

TittyGolightly · 17/01/2018 13:21

For general information if the oil pressure light comes on you shouldn’t drive it without any oil becuase that can damage it, but that just means getting someone to fetch you some oil to put in it, not a tow truck.

If an engine seized due to no oil, a tow truck absolutely would be needed. Adding oil wouldn’t do anything for it.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/01/2018 13:44

All fluids should be checked every time you fill up.
Flippin' 'eck.
I've had my current car (13 years old) for 2 years and I've never checked the oil.
I must do that.
I do have look at water and tyres if I'm driving more than a couple of hours.

And WOW OP.
Your dads brother was dying.
He went to visit and it's his sisters fault!
Jeez....
I'd keep well away if I was you.

derxa · 17/01/2018 13:45

And please, it is 2018 - if you are able bodied then do it yourself, you aren't Scarlett o hara! Scarlett would have done it herself. She was very practical.

BashStreetKid · 17/01/2018 14:50

If the oil was low after 5 weeks, it must have been pretty low beforehand. You could equally blame your father for not checking at that stage.

HermionesRightHook · 17/01/2018 14:50

Ooh yes, Scarlett wouldn't have stood for any of this nonsense. She have rebuilt her old car out of a pair of curtains by now.

derxa · 17/01/2018 14:51

She have rebuilt her old car out of a pair of curtains by now. As well as running the sawmill Grin

WeirdCatLady · 17/01/2018 14:56

Just to clarify, for reddington

And I’ve never checked my oil in over 25 years of driving. The garage check it for me at the mot.

It’s certainly not checked as part of an MOT. One assumes you have it serviced at the same time?

One would be incorrect to assume that. My garage, at my request, give my car a general ‘check up’ when it goes in for its annual mot (oil, filters, antifreeze etc).

TheCowWentMoo · 17/01/2018 15:26

It's generally a good rule to check the oil on your car regularly, having said that I have never had to top up my oil outside of a service and my car is an old banger.

I wouldn't expect oil on a 3 yr old Toyota to go down that quickly, if the oil on a Toyota was so low after 5 weeks that it couldn't possibly be driven then that suggests it was also pretty low when he lent it to you which means a) He didn't check it himself, and probably not for a long time either, certainly not in yet last 5 weeks. If he had checked it he would have topped it up b) he knew it was low and knew you wouldn't check it, giving himself something to be angry with you about. If he is that precious about his car thag he gets it towed for low oil then why on earth would he lend it to you without checking the oil? He checked it as soon as it got back, so why not before?

And no car low on oil needs a tow truck, ever, you just put more oil in Hmm it would only need a tow truck if it was completely seized up. Hes being ridiculous and purposefully finding things to be angry about, if you had checked the oil something else would have been wrong. He was probably hoping you would do something worse than just not check the oil, he had to be overly dramatic so he had something to be angry about

Lillygolightly · 17/01/2018 15:38

Ok couple of things

If the car was low or oil after a service Just 10k miles, there is something wrong with the car for it to be burning that much oil in the first place. Most normal service intervals on cars are every 30k miles or so depending. If it was burning or using oil, you’d know from the exhaust emissions and the smell. If with that of car has an oil leak which would be noticeable on the drive or where it was parked regularly.

I suspect what is most likely is that because he has it serviced so regularly and probably at the same place is that they took his money and didn’t do much of anything (if there is no fault of issue with the car). Anyway point is, it’s not your fault you didn’t break it. Also the car being low on oil didn’t and doesn’t mean it’s broke.

SandyDenny · 17/01/2018 16:14

Snowsky - why can't you check your own oil? If you're able bodied there's no reason you need to get someone else to do it.

wowfudge · 17/01/2018 16:18

Did he really call a tow truck, or is that just what he has told you? Does he always expect everyone to dance to his tune in this unreasonable way? If so, he is a controlling arse.

PiffleandWiffle · 17/01/2018 16:22

Funny that it’s still considered valid in the 2015 iteration

Have they updated the stopping distances to reflect disc brakes & ABS yet or are we still on Drum Brakes?? Grin

PiffleandWiffle · 17/01/2018 16:24

Harder to see/smell exhaust smoke in a car. Not impossible, but still requires a driver to use more than just the one brain cell

Not that hard (I can do it in mine), just involves looking behind you whilst driving, which most MNers do - otherwise how would they notice all the people stuck behind them on NSL roads (it's a limit, not a target Wink)

JennyOnAPlate · 17/01/2018 16:34

He’s completely out of order op and being utterly ridiculous! Why on earth did he get it towed rather than just put some oil in it??

I’ve had my car 11 years and have never checked the oil or put oil in it. It’s never occurred to me Blush

reddington · 17/01/2018 17:24

oil, filters, antifreeze etc

That’s called a service and is nothing to do with the MOT

If the car was low or oil after a service Just 10k miles, there is something wrong with the car for it to be burning that much oil in the first place

Simply not true. Many cars could’ve burnt 9-10 litres in 10k miles and still be within acceptable tolerance. Most cars hold around 5 litres of oil and will be on minimum after burning a litre of that.

HighwayDragon1 · 17/01/2018 17:34

My car guzzles oil (2003 ford), she isn't leaking as the garage have checked. Some cars use more than others.

As for your dad, he's a massive Dickhead, sorry.

WeirdCatLady · 17/01/2018 17:36

reddington, read what I wrote. I am aware of what happens during an mot. I’m saying that AT THE SAME TIME my garage ALSO checks my oil, filters and antifreeze. It’s not a full service, it’s them checking some things for me so I don’t have to do it myself.

Fucks sake. Are you related to the OPs Dad??

reddington · 17/01/2018 17:45

Sorry Weird I read that as change the oil. When do you have it serviced then?

WeirdCatLady · 17/01/2018 17:50

I’ve never booked it in for a service. The lady at the garage tells me when things need doing and then does them. She has been known to have to remind me when my mot is due Blush

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