Paid off mortgage

[iwant2know]

DH and I paid off our mortgage in November last year. We love our house, it's the perfect size for us and our 2 DSSs so we don't plan to move again.

We hadn't told anyone because it's no one else's business and we didn't want to come across as smug or up ourselves.

My dsis was over this morning and was in when a delivery person came to the door with flowers. I took them off the delivery person and put them on the coffee table and went back to the door to sign for them.

By the time I turned round Dsis had opened the card, which was from our bank congratulating us on paying off the mortgage. I didn't know they did this sort of thing.

Dsis got really upset, saying we should have told her, we hide this from her etc. For background she is older and has just started her mortgage after buying a house last year. She left shortly after.

I have just got back from lunch with a friend who I mentioned Dsis reaction to. She thinks we we're wrong not to tell people. We have acted like we have something to hide. Apparently everyone announces paying off their mortgages. It's a social niceity.

Aibu to think there is no hard and fast rule about this sort of thing? And we haven't done anything wrong.

Our bank didn't congratulate us when we paid off our mortgage!

We didn't announce it as such either! Several of our friends know now because it's come up in conversation but it's not like I put it on Facebook or anything. The way we saw it was we borrowed money with an agreement to pay it off after 25 years, after 25 years the endowment policy paid out and we paid off the loan - that's just how loans work so nothing to need "announcing".

What bollocks from your friend - she's nosey. You wouldn't tell people you'd paid off a credit card balance or any other sort of loan. And whilst I'm on my soap box, just because you have paid it off doesn't mean you haven't had some tough times ensuring you could make the repayments in the past.

I'd b angry she read my private message . Nobody announces paying off a mortgage in my experience

Congratulations! But your sister is being daft. It could be just as likely that people accused you of being boastful or gloating. You can't win! She had no business opening the card anyway. FWIW my Dad called me all excited to tell me that he had paid off his mortgage some years ago which was lovely, because he didn't normally get excited about anything, but I don't think he told anyone else, not even my siblings. Social nicety, my eye!!!

Our bank (Hsbc) only sent me flowers to say sorry when they did something wrong (ring me up on my mobile when it was about a company account that DH is involved with and nothing to do with me).

They just sent us a congratulatory letter and that they wouldn’t be taking any more money off us. We haven’t told anyone apart from my sister and I definitely didn’t announce it at work!

Sister and friend just want you to feel bad because they are jealous. There’s no obligation to tell anyone about your finances however close they are to you.

Typical timing with the flower delivery!

When we paid ours off we ordered a Deliman cream tea for just us. We told our adult kids but it really isn’t anyone’s business but yours.

She's hardly well placed to speak on the subject of social niceties when she opens other people's cards. What a nerve!

Congratulations OP. We paid our mortgage off last year too, it’s a nice feeling isn’t it.

It’s not a secret, but we haven’t announced it either. We didn’t do anything special or clever to pay it off, we’ve just been here for twenty years, and have never remortgaged to release equity, like some friends of ours have.

Your friend and DS sound a bit bonkers to be so upset about it!

Nope, C & G didn’t send us flowers, chocolates etc. when we paid ours off in 2009. Mind you, it was still a building society back then. Have they gone all upmarket since becoming banks then? 😂

We definitely didn’t announce it either. Several people now know as it has cropped up in conversation over the years but as we are in our 60’s now - and live a pretty nice life - I would assume most people have guessed. I would feel REALLY uncomfortable announcing it as IMO it would sound really boastful and smug.

Would be fuming if someone had the cheek to open the card which came with any flowers, sister or not! 😡

We paid off our mortgage. I remember walking into the branch to write a cheque for the final £400 and we went out for lunch to celebrate afterwards

But I wouldn't tell anyone. I think it's a private matter

I have some sympathy for your sister, if she thought that you were in similar financial situations and now realises that you aren't, but she was out of order for snooping

Cheeky sister! No why would you tell anyone? I expect that your sister was reacting in jealousy and your friend sounds very nosey.

Wtf.. why do you need to announce it! It's not like you're having a baby

What utter tosh - paying off your mortgage is something you keep to yourself.

I've never heard of anyone 'announcing' it & have no idea among my friends which ones are still paying mortgages & which ones aren't.

Who opens someone else’s flower card?
And it’s your choice, people get so angry and jealous over people paying off their mortgages, that it makes people ashamed of their successes. That’s the problem here.
My DP and I own our house outright, in our early 20s, but we don’t tell a soul because we know people will be angry and bitter.

Ignore it, if you can.

If it was a 'thing' then surely Clinton's would be selling cards for it?

Congratulations on paying of your mortgage!

We're thrilled to announce that we've paid off our mortgage!

Look who's paid off their mortgage!

And the obligatory helium balloon, sash to wear etc.

our 2 DSSs

How does that work?

The rest of it sounds like Mapp and Lucia updated. I can't really take it seriously.

We paid ours off about 8 years ago and didn’t get flowers either, but we did get the title deeds delivered by courier which was much better I think . I’m surprised someone up thread said this doesn’t happen now? Ours have proved useful in a number of ways so we keep them at home for reference.

OP your sister is jealous and very cheeky reading your card. I hope she’s not the gossipy type; if so the world will probably know by now. Also your friend is totally bonkers. We didn’t tell anyone, but it’s a great feeling, especially the first month you don’t see that payment going out of your account.

Enjoy your new found freedom ........

WTF? That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life. Very strange behaviour from them

I can't believe she opened your card...how rude.

It took Halifax quite a few weeks to even acknowledge I had made my last (several thousand pounds) payment and got a little shirty at my impatience when I phoned to ask if they had received it. No way would they.send flowers miserable fuckers

Your sister is bonkers, and probably jealous. Don't be surprised if you face a future of snide comments about you having disposable income while she does not. Ignore it.

Your friend is also bonkers.

Congratulations, OP. You are SO lucky

By her snooping OP’s Dsis has put a strain on their relationship— whenever money is mentioned, even in the most oblique way, she is likely to make a snide comment implying that “its all right for some “. etc, she will expect the OP to be more generous with her gifts and hospitality than formerly etc etc. In an effort to avoid jealous remarks the OP will be on eggshells, will probably feel resentful that Dsis expects to be endlessly treated.
I just don’t get why people resent other’s good fortune when they have lost nothing themselves. And short of a windfall, most mortgages are paid off because of the mortgagors hard work and financial planning and they are to be congratulated.
Well done OP, you’ve done nothing to feel apologetic about.

Come back and explain the "our stepsons" thing OP

@Battleax I'm sorry I should have said my dss's. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

That makes a bit more sense.