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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paid off mortgage

332 replies

iwant2know · 16/01/2018 13:39

DH and I paid off our mortgage in November last year. We love our house, it's the perfect size for us and our 2 DSSs so we don't plan to move again.

We hadn't told anyone because it's no one else's business and we didn't want to come across as smug or up ourselves.

My dsis was over this morning and was in when a delivery person came to the door with flowers. I took them off the delivery person and put them on the coffee table and went back to the door to sign for them.

By the time I turned round Dsis had opened the card, which was from our bank congratulating us on paying off the mortgage. I didn't know they did this sort of thing.

Dsis got really upset, saying we should have told her, we hide this from her etc. For background she is older and has just started her mortgage after buying a house last year. She left shortly after.

I have just got back from lunch with a friend who I mentioned Dsis reaction to. She thinks we we're wrong not to tell people. We have acted like we have something to hide. Apparently everyone announces paying off their mortgages. It's a social niceity.

Aibu to think there is no hard and fast rule about this sort of thing? And we haven't done anything wrong.

OP posts:
alotalotalot · 16/01/2018 14:08

Ha ha Cfuckery that backfired.

She was cheeky opening the envelope and it serves her right that she didn't like what she found out.

PanPanPanPing · 16/01/2018 14:08

Congratulations Flowers

Your sister was very impolite to open the card with the flowers - and is weird by saying you should have made an 'announcement' about it.

I suspect many of my friends have paid off their mortgages, but I wouldn't dream of asking them - it's nothing to do with me.

I never got flowers when I paid off my mortgage Sad Hmm Grin

JapaneseBirdPainting · 16/01/2018 14:08

Congratulations!!!!!

No, your sister is completely out of line and who on earth makes a big announcement they have paid off their mortgage? It's no-one's business at all, and besides, it's slightly crass, particularly if the ones who hear your big announcement might be struggling themselves.

crazychemist · 16/01/2018 14:09

How bizarre that she opened your card! Congratulations on paying off the mortgage :-)

Frankly, I'd be astonished at the idea of announcing the end of a mortgage, private financial matters aren't usually something to declare! However, I imagine my family will know when it's coming to an end so I'm a little surprised she didn't know if you see her frequently. Why didn't you tell her? Might she be jealous? That could explain her strong reaction

InsomniacAnonymous · 16/01/2018 14:09

Does your sister think opening other people's post is a social nicety too? What a bloody cheek she's got and I've never heard of announcing that you've paid off your mortgage! It's got nothing to do with anyone else and I wouldn't expect anyone to have the slightest interest anyway. Ridiculous behaviour from your sister.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 16/01/2018 14:10

Processing a redemption of a customer's mortgage was one of the nicer parts of my former job. Flowers were not sent though.

alotalotalot · 16/01/2018 14:10

Although YABU for not keeping a tiny tiny mortgage in case you ever need to extend it for emergency money.

nannybeach · 16/01/2018 14:11

I never had any flowers for paying off mine, just the Title Deeds which you dont get anymore, its no-ones business but yours, you dont have to announce it to your sister,friend or anyone else. Good luck in the house and future.

SandAndSea · 16/01/2018 14:12

Congratulations, OP!

I've actually never heard of these niceties but would be utterly appalled at her opening my post and also her reaction. Your mortgage is absolutely none of her business! She needs some boundaries. Her manners are dreadful!

Mrsmadevans · 16/01/2018 14:13

I don't tell my family or friends anything about our finances , I don't like them knowing and feel as if it would be boasting iyswim. I think it is no ones business either.

Magicnumbers · 16/01/2018 14:13

Congratulations! But I have never heard anyone announce it before, and I agree that it is in danger of sounding smug.

Your finances are irrelevant to others, and your DSIS should not have opened that card! How intrusive.

BigBaboonBum · 16/01/2018 14:13

Unless people are expecting money from you now you’ll have some spare -wtf has it got to do with them? Bizarre.

girlwhowearsglasses · 16/01/2018 14:14

They're all mad!

Sibvvu for opening the card though!!!

MyBrilliantDisguise · 16/01/2018 14:14

I doubt if many people tell anyone simply because those people might assume they have more money to spare and might be tapping them for a loan.

swingofthings · 16/01/2018 14:14

Tweety - also with Nationwide, clearly their customer service doesn't extend to flowers grin
Arggg, why are all with them, I got excited about receiving flowers for a second. Saying that, if I got flowers coming through the door, I would be ripping off that card with excitement to know who it was for. Then be very disappointed it was the bank, so probably better not to get anything in the first place!

JapaneseBirdPainting · 16/01/2018 14:15

The only people I know who 'announced' they had paid off their mortgage are my parents- and that is because they were dancing around the table in celebration and then used a few months of what would have been 'mortgage'payments to take me and my siblings and our boyfriends to Bali for a holiday!!

They didn't tell anyone else though, because that would be ...um... a little odd.

PenguinsandPandas · 16/01/2018 14:16

Never heard of anyone announcing it and I didn't get flowers from the bank. I had a reaction from the guy in the bank of that's a lot of money for a you to have, I wonder what you did to get that, with a have you been working as a prostitute type of grin. Confused

Cath2907 · 16/01/2018 14:16

No-one else's business - I wouldn't tell anyone anymore than I'd tell them how much my monthly mortgage payments were in the first place!

Saysomethingnice · 16/01/2018 14:16

Confused goodness they will be wanting you ti take out an announcement in the Times next Grin bizarre.

TheGonnagle · 16/01/2018 14:18

Serves her right for opening your card, doesn't it? Nosy fecker.
And no, I've never met anyone who announces that they've paid of their mortgage, what a load of old shite.
Congratulations though.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 16/01/2018 14:18

And MyBrilliant I can tell you from personal exprience you are right.

DontbouncelikeIdid · 16/01/2018 14:18

How bizarre. I have no idea if any of my friends have paid off their mortgages or not, and I can't say I care TBH. Are we meant to announce every time we pay off a loan or a credit card too, or is it just mortgages??

HouseworkIsASin10 · 16/01/2018 14:18

Dsis should have been mortified that she'd read something so personal.

I'm very close to my sister but wouldn't dream of reading her mail or sticking my nose into her finances.

amusedbush · 16/01/2018 14:18

Congratulations on paying off your mortgage.

I think it's a deeply personal thing and YANBU for keeping it to yourself.

Last year was the worst year of DH's life as he lost three close relatives in 12 months. A bittersweet outcome of this is that he will be inheriting a house and some money on top, which is absolutely life changing considering we wouldn't be in a position to even look at mortgages for at least another five years due to our credit ratings/lack of savings.

I will not be telling anyone that we own a house outright. I mentioned it to my mum shortly after we found out and she was very bitter and jealous. She could barely offer a strained "I'm happy for you" before she hung up the phone. I've decided it's nobody else's business and it's not worth the hassle.

TroysMammy · 16/01/2018 14:19

Perhaps the bank is buttering up the OP hoping she will invest the extra monthly disposable income with them.

When I paid my mortgage off last year I save the monthly amount instead of blowing it on bits and bobs.