Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That I don't need in laws checking up on me

102 replies

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 15/01/2018 12:01

I just need to have an in law vent.

AIBU to thing that as an adult I don't need my in laws tutting and shaking their heads when I told them I haven't eaten today yet because I'm not hungry. I am 5months postpartum (not breastfeeding) so it's not like I am exactly wasting away, I still have baby weight to lose! I think I can competently decide if my body wants food and if it doesn't, I really don't need them checking up on if I've eaten and then getting angry at the answer of no.

OP posts:
Fishface77 · 15/01/2018 12:02

Wow.
So they’re concerned about you.

Nicknacky · 15/01/2018 12:04

Does your oh have concerns about how little you are eating?

bfgdreamtree · 15/01/2018 12:04

Don't go around telling people you haven't eaten if you don't want them to comment on it.
And eat something.

Greensleeves · 15/01/2018 12:05

There's a difference between lovingly checking that you are OK and offering to help you, and badgering you and getting snippy when you don't give the answer they want.

You need to set some boundaries, difficult though it is. You need space to feed and bond with your baby without people constantly interfering and undermining your decisions. Is your dp understanding? Could he fend them off for you?

Oysterbabe · 15/01/2018 12:06

Just lie.

Megs4x3 · 15/01/2018 12:08

They sound concerned for you. There are better ways to lose weight. I regularly don't eat before the afternoon when left to my own devices, but then I'm stupid in that regard. Be pleased that they care. It's worth caring about.

Snowysky20009 · 15/01/2018 12:09

Just tell them you are earlier or are eating later

PositivelyPERF · 15/01/2018 12:10

That's the kind of thing that would have worried my wee mil. She was always concerned about me being vegan, but it came from a place of love, so I never worried about it. I would always tell her I had a late breakfast/early lunch, when she was trying to coax me into eating at her house, but she was an irish mammy so feeding guests equals love. Gosh I miss my dear mil.

Just stop telling them you haven't eaten if you don't want to make a drama out of it.

Pengggwn · 15/01/2018 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GreasyHairDoNotCare · 15/01/2018 12:19

The annoying thing is, I eat. I eat like your average person does really. I'm in no way underweight and it doesn't come across as concerning. My appetite may be smaller than what they're used to (big eaters) but it irritates me that just because I, a 5"2, 8stone woman can't shovel down 6pork sausages, a mountain of chips and peas, they think I don't eat.

OP posts:
Original poster
GreasyHairDoNotCare · 15/01/2018 12:20

badgering you and getting snippy when you don't give the answer they want.

This is what they are like

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 15/01/2018 12:21

Does your oh worry about your eating?

Greensleeves · 15/01/2018 12:22

The issue isn't whether you're eating or not. You're a grown woman, it's up to you to manage your eating/breastfeeding etc, and it sounds as though you are doing that just fine.

The issue is that they are not observing proper boundaries and you feel invaded and criticised. Your dh could really help here, they're his family and he should be helping to make sure you get the space you need. If he's not up to it, then you may have to be fairly blunt with them.

Original poster
GreasyHairDoNotCare · 15/01/2018 12:24

Nicknacky - sorry didn't see your post. No he doesn't express concerns.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/01/2018 12:24

Hmmm, what do you mean uou still have weignt to lose if you're only eight stone. I'm guessing they are concerned you have disordered eating and the fact they may be right is what's riling you?

SlowlyShrinking · 15/01/2018 12:25

As a pp said, just lie. I do intermittent fasting, and it’s usually easier to just tell people you’ve already eaten, than face the 3rd degree and accusations of anorexia etc

Nicknacky · 15/01/2018 12:25

Have they always been like that or is it a new thing?

How does it come up in conversation?

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 15/01/2018 12:27

What time are they asking at? It is very unusual to not eat at all for large parts of the day. That's not "average" at all, unless they are asking you during the morning.

Sarahjconnor · 15/01/2018 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 15/01/2018 12:42

If a 5’2 woman I knew weighed 8 stone, and was breast feeding, not eating and saying she had baby weight to lose I would be worried too. Please don’t encourage the OP to lie or hide her lack of eating.

Original poster
GreasyHairDoNotCare · 15/01/2018 12:42

In the OP it states I am NOT breastfeeding

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 15/01/2018 12:45

Regardless of breastfeeding I agree with Bertrand. Like I asked, how is it coming up in conversation and have they always been like that?

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 15/01/2018 12:46

Op isn’t breastfeeding

Qvar · 15/01/2018 12:47

At 5’2 and eight stone, saying you have baby weight to lose and not having eaten by mid day is SCREAMING eating disorder.

They’re concerned because your behaviour is concerning.

Blackteadrinker77 · 15/01/2018 12:50

Older people are stuck on the you must eat breakfast thing.

They don't understand how the human body works and that it is fine to eat only once or twice a day.

And for people saying the OP is under weight she is not, she is in a good range for her height.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread