Men and wedding rings - AIBU?

[1ndig0]

DH and I are renewing our vows next summer after 15 years (his idea, he "proposed"). When we got married, he didn't want a ring and, at the time, I didn't think much of it. This time we are aiming for a more personalised ceremony. When I said I would like to get him a ring too this time, he said not to bother because he's "not a jewellery person" and he said there's no point in men's jewellery anyway. Some of my friends think it would be odd if I receive a ring, but I don't give him one in return. AIBU to think most men do wear wedding rings these days (he thinks not)? I realise that this is hardly a world crisis, but I do feel as if I would like to give him a ring and was wondering if this is indeed the norm for most people these days?

BUt if he hasn’t worn one for the last fifteen years of your marriage, does it really matter if he doesn’t wear one now?

Dh only ever wore his ring for about two months after getting married and then only weekends as he wasn't allowed rings in work so wouldn't bother me tbh. My dads is in mums jewellery box as he never wore it after the day he got married (saw another mans finger ripped off at work when his wedding ring got caught in machinery).

My husband has a ring, it's the only piece of jewlery he wears as he's not much into jewlery either. We have customised bands. We picked the metals, the design, the diamonds, the engraving. Would that sway him? Something special rather than a plain band? If not, is there anything he'd like other than a ring? Haven't really heard of anyone not wearing a ring tbh so I'm sorry I'm not much help!

I find rings wildly uncomfortable. Maybe he does too.

Learning what 'ring degloving injury' was didn't help either.

DH and I exchanged rings at the ceremony but he hasn't worn it more than a handful of time since. Don't think he even knows where it is. Could you get a cheap one for the exchange as a compromise?

DH wears one, but didn't when he was married to his first wife. He hadn't thought about wearing one, but when I suggested it, he wasn't averse. My dad only started to wear a ring when my mum bought him an eternity ring for their 25th anniversary. I think it's not as usual for men to wear a ring as it is for women, but seems to be getting more common. I don't know if that helps though.

Men either like wedding rings or they don't.
Your husband obviously doesn't want to wear a wedding ring, so go ahead and buy him a ring, but it's unlikely he'll wear it.
(I bought Mr Squiffany several wedding rings (!) and he wears none of them. Doesn't mean he doesn't love me)

I agree with you OP that most men wear them these days. My dad and FIL don’t but DH does and I think nearly all my male friends do. Like a pp suggests, couldn't he have a ring but not necessarily wear it if he doesn’t want to?

My husband doesn't wear a ring. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

DH lost his when he was making up the guest bedroom and never found it. I'm a bit indifferent to rings and see it as just a bit of metal. I don't take mine off as it's lovely to look at, but it won't bother me if DH never finds is. We're still very much married.

DH doesn't. Says it gets in the way of his work (uses hands constantly) and doesn't like the feel of it. I wear his ring on my thumb sometimes as it's quite a nice one and is to my taste. I've had a bit of a moan about it from time to time but I've decided it's his finger so live and let live.

I don’t even know if dh wears a ring. I know he has one but don’t think he wears it. I haven’t worn mine in over a decade. Rings aren’t important.

I don't like any jewellery on a man. It's a modern fad.

My DH doesn't wear a wedding ring,. Neither does his father, or anyone else we know.
Most of the men we know earn a living in the construction industry and the risk of wearing a ring to work just isn't worth the risk.
He works 6 days a week, nagging for the 7th day seems a bit of a moot point to me.

He hasn't worn one the last 15 years so why would he wear it now? However i think it would be nice of him to receive a ring it is the symbolic thing I think might be upsetting you which is fair enough. Dh has a ring but he was a manual worker till last year and he never wore it he does occasionally.

DH has worn his ring everyday since we got married (don't think he's taken it off) byt I hardly ever wear mine. I started by taking it off when I showered and went to bed, and just didn't get into the habit of putting it back on again. Looking back, I was never a jewellery person (hardly wore ££££ engagement ring) so should have just had a cheap wedding ring-or none at all.

I can completely see where your DH is coming from - he is nbu.

My husband has always worn his. I lost his original one - he took it it off to change the tyres on the car and I put it on my thumb, then took the kids to the playground and shopping and when I got home he asked for it back and it was gone retraced my steps but never found it.

I got him a replacement stainless steel one (original was white gold) and he's worn it ever since and no longer gives it to me to look after

I've never seen him wear another piece of jewelry in the 17 years I've known him.

These boards have turned me horribly cynical, but I don't see the point of renewing vows, unless they've been broken (and then if they weren't important enough to keep, renewing them won't change anything).

If he thinks your lifetime vows need renewing and doesn't want to wear a ring, I'd be bothered.

That said, DH rarely wears his because of it being dangerous for work, but he does put it on when "dressing up" for a night out, either with or without me.

DH never had one, another in construction. If we ever renewed our vows I doubt he would get a ring, it wouldn't really bother me!

I might persuade him to accept new earrings... I bought him the 2 sleepers his currently wears ALL the time about 25 years ago. He owns no others!

I am not into jewellery at all. Can't recall the last time I wore my wedding/engagement rings. I don't like the feel of them.

My husband has never even mentioned it tbh.

Thanks - it does seem to me that most men do wear rings these days, but obviously I haven't done a survey! I was just wondering because this time if we're writing our own vows it would just be nice to have something to give to him as well. But as PP say, he would just take it off probably.

To answer your question on would it be odd to receive one of you don't give one, no not at all. If he doesn't want to wear one, what's the point? I've been to one wedding where the groom didn't want a ring and the vows were perfectly lovely - from him 'I give you this ring' and from her 'I receive this ring'. Presumably you had something similar originally and could do so for a renewal?

My dh has lost two wedding rings 🙄 the first one was a Tiffany’s ring, the second was a crappy band he bought to replace it. He’s not forgiven. But, anyway... my df never wore his wedding ring. The only time it came out was for special occasions. He too didn’t like jewellery, but did wear it on my wedding day ❤️

I thought having to renew vows/ have a blessing requires a ring 🤔