Men and wedding rings - AIBU?

[1ndig0]

DH and I are renewing our vows next summer after 15 years (his idea, he "proposed"). When we got married, he didn't want a ring and, at the time, I didn't think much of it. This time we are aiming for a more personalised ceremony. When I said I would like to get him a ring too this time, he said not to bother because he's "not a jewellery person" and he said there's no point in men's jewellery anyway. Some of my friends think it would be odd if I receive a ring, but I don't give him one in return. AIBU to think most men do wear wedding rings these days (he thinks not)? I realise that this is hardly a world crisis, but I do feel as if I would like to give him a ring and was wondering if this is indeed the norm for most people these days?

I got married in September, and my husband doesn’t do jewellery at all, as a compromise we got a cheap £20 one from warren James for the ceremony, and as the actual symbolic thing he got a nice watch that he wears.

The best man at our wedding is getting married in April and he’s also not getting a ring at all.

My DH has never worn his wedding ring. I've never really thought about it, to be honest. He doesn't like or wear any other jewelry, so it's up to him I guess.

We bought £3 plain rings from top shop to exchange and never wear. DH started wearing a different ring on his wedding finger recently, but I think only because that's the finger it fits and he liked the ring. We're still very much married!

My dh never wears his and we have been married nearly 12 years.

My husband doesn’t, I didn’t give him one at the ceremony. He gave me one. I wear mine for work or if I’m getting dressed up to go out somewhere a bit special/in the evening but generally don’t wear mine either. Find them generally uncomfortable and not conducive to household tasks/looking after small kids.

If it's never bothered you that he hasn't worn one the last 15 years then why start being bothered now just because your friends think it's suddenly weird? Or have I misunderstood?

My DH has a titanium one, cost £47 pounds so wasn’t a problem if he couldn’t get on with it. He doesn’t even wear a watch, but does wear his ring. I changed my name and so I wanted him to wear a ring. If you get a cheap one at least you can give him one during the ceremony.

I think it's a personal preference. My husband wears one but my dad doesnt - he's not a jewellery person. You could try explaining to your DH that you would like it but I don't think you should push it too hard if he isn't keen

DH didn’t want to wear one... But I’m from a country where men traditionally wear wedding rings and the idea of me wearing one if he wouldn’t felt very wrong to me personally.

So I proposed that neither of us should wear a ring...

But DH thought that this was weird / felt incomplete. So we compromised and bought rings for each other.

It seems like loads of people don't do rings then, so clearly he is NBU! I personally love rings and mine are very significant to me, but I guess each to their own.

The reason for the renewal was his idea - nothing major has happened, but it just feels like a certain point in our lives, I guess. The first time we got married, his mother took over and we had loads of people there that I wouldn't have invited and I was too nervous to really relax and enjoy it. He knows this, so maybe that's why.

My husband wears his and feels makes without it, but my father never has as it drove him mad. If my husband decided not to wear his, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. It's a personal decision. Does your husband wear a watch? If so, what about giving him a beautiful watch instead?

Have never worn one and neither has my DH. Lovely idea but has never suited either of us.

OP is he giving you another ring for your renewal of vows? If he doesn't like rings etc why not just get him something he'd really like?

Vows don't have an expiry date. No need to "renew" them - I always wonder which of the couple cheated.

Is it something you are doing privately or is it an event?

Have your original vows expired for some reason?

OP, how about getting him a nice watch instead of a ring?

My DH doesn't wear a wedding ring, nor do i half the time! I find rings annoying.

I don't like any jewellery on a man. It's a modern fad

Ha! Tell that to the ancient Egyptians!

My DH wore his for the ceremony only. I only wear mine when I'm dressing up nicely.

He is NBU if he doesn't want to wear a ring (although he's a hypocrite if as you say he thinks you should!) If it means a lot to you to exchange rings, would he consider having a ring for the ceremony, but not wearing it in everyday life? I know plenty of people (male and female) who have wedding rings but don't usually wear them.

Ring degloving... now there’s something I should not have googled. Fuck.

Seriously do not google if squeamish.

Dh was totally an 'in-jewellery person'. But now,having worn a ring for 15 years,he feels 'naked without it.

No nothing has expired! I did say I would like to plan a few new things to do in my "40th year" (someone suggested this helps to take the emphasis off the actual day ) so maybe this is why he thought if it. He is kind of surfacing out of a very intense 10 year work period and the kids are easier now. We are inviting friends and family, but not going OTT - that's the idea, at least.

I did try and get him a watch for his 40th some years back, but he said he would only damage it and now he's happy with his Apple Watch. He will get me a ring. I know it's not about the ring anyway, but as we are having this ceremony, I just thought I would like to be giving him something back, that's all, as a personalised symbol.

Do you actually want a ring? If so go for it!