... to fucking explode at partner and daughter on their mobile phones ..

[Fontella]

ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Went out to the local pub this evening the three of us - rare in itself - and they are texting and looking - all the fucking time while we are sat in the pub.

Came back home and I'm cooking supper and preparing everything and the two of them are sat at the table completely engrossed in their phones while I run around like a blue arsed fly laying the table, trying to chat, preparing salad, pouring drinks for everyone, lighting candles, putting on the music - I might as well be a waitress.

I just flipped out - not sure where that came from - and they both looked at me like I was a mad woman and so I came upstairs and the two of them are sat down there eating the food I fucking cooked!

I don't want to share a room with people whose whole focus is a little battery operated handset. I want to talk, laugh, engage, have conversation, interact, enjoy the food, listen to the music .. but I might as well have been nobody tonight because that is how they both treated me.

I hate people being glued to phones but don't be a martyr either. Make sure they do their bit getting meal ready. Not acceptable for them to sit while you do it all.

Yanbu unreasonable op. And sorry for all the posters accusing you of creating a 'bad ambience' or being drunk! Don't you know a woman must never outwardly express her anger

This is clearly the "drop" too many, I understand.
I wonder if you can just make a meal for yourself tonight ?
Can you go out ? (cinema ? swim ? friend? )
Tell them that as you are invisible, & there is so much real humanity on their phone, that you are sure they will find all they need there.
Petty probably, but why bother to make an effort.

YADNBU! And they ate your dinner! Fuckers.

Is it ok for grown men to talk about exploding or boiling? Just not right for women?

I'm still on your side OP you've done nothing wrong and handled yoursel the only way you could last night
Don't let it drop though, draw the line and even if it's just the one rule, no phones at the table (which could also incorporate the pub of course) expect the, as adults to stick to it.
Also maybe a little delegation of household tasks as when they're doing something else with tenor hand s at lest they're not on their phones

They ate all the food? Are you serious? Sorry that would give me the rage. How fucking selfish!

Mix56 exactly but why not without the unpleasant sarcasm - why should everyone spend the evening the way the OP thinks they should? Why not discuss it nicely and come to a compromise?

actually agree with Lady
if you were that annoyed, you could have said, they are your family, they will remember your childish behaviour, they will feel guilty, or at least your dd will, cant speak for your dh.
otoh, make sure they know why you are are annoyed and set rules, make suggestions for future harmony.

YANBU. Don’t back down today. No idea why you chucked a duvet on him though. Didn’t deserve it.

I think ops rage was a bit ott tbh

We have a ban on mobile phones at the table and anyone who breaks that rule has to clear up alone after dinner - the rule has never been broken

The problem seems to have been that OP and her family enjoy different things. She would find talking to them more enjoyable than communicating with the internet, they are the opposite.

TBH, I think their preference makes more sense. If you've known someone at least 22 years, their probability of being more interesting than the most interesting thing currently on the internet must be near zero.

(So why doesn't that apply to the OP? Presumably it's a personality difference. She enjoys talking for it's own sake, it's not about the content. For me talking, to anyone, is in itself is a boring waste of time. I'd honestly rather spend the time washing dishes, a task I hate, but at least I'd have the satisfaction of the house becoming cleaner.)

You know they are going to look at each other 'in that way' and mutter 'it's her hormones', don't you?

A full and frank discussion this morning, I think. TELL them, in no uncertain terms WHY you went off upstairs and how DISGUSTED you were with their behaviour.

Otherwise they will just assume you had a headache and went to bed. Although noone even came to check? Or asked if you wanted some food kept?

I once piled all the dirty dishes up and dropped them in the stone fireplace because no one would help clear the table. They are much better now, but not, I think, because of that incident.

This has not ended well in my opinion.

You had no apology.
There was no acknowledgement of why you were upset.
They ate all the food without even thinking about leaving any for you.
You still ‘looked after’ him with the duvet.

So they tidied up. Big deal. That is what should happen anyway. Don’t chalk that up as a win for you. Tidying up after yourself is a standard, it is expected. They shouldn’t get praise for doing what is completely ordinary.

Just remember for another time-take your share (or more) of the food that you have cooked with you to eat.

I'm still confused as to whether you actually SAID anything to them or not, OP. You didn't want their help preparing dinner but you wanted them to be in the room with you and make conversation, is that right? But did you actually tell them that?

The anger maybe more than most people on her might feel but focussing on that takes away from the real problem

And I agree with Simon btw.

They didn't leave you any food?

Rude, selfish & greedy!

Just read this thread and can see why OP was furious: hope it’s all calmed down now. OP , get one of these ...

www.distractagone.com/

...... and tell them that’s them it will be used at all future meal times in your house.