... to fucking explode at partner and daughter on their mobile phones ..

[Fontella]

ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Went out to the local pub this evening the three of us - rare in itself - and they are texting and looking - all the fucking time while we are sat in the pub.

Came back home and I'm cooking supper and preparing everything and the two of them are sat at the table completely engrossed in their phones while I run around like a blue arsed fly laying the table, trying to chat, preparing salad, pouring drinks for everyone, lighting candles, putting on the music - I might as well be a waitress.

I just flipped out - not sure where that came from - and they both looked at me like I was a mad woman and so I came upstairs and the two of them are sat down there eating the food I fucking cooked!

I don't want to share a room with people whose whole focus is a little battery operated handset. I want to talk, laugh, engage, have conversation, interact, enjoy the food, listen to the music .. but I might as well have been nobody tonight because that is how they both treated me.

Rarely for MN this thread has a resolution.

Daughter went to bed.

I ventured downstairs and OH was sprawled on the sofa so (call me a mug) I did chuck a duvet on him.

All food I prepared earlier has been eaten, every morsel, but they have washed up and cleared away - a rare bonus.

I made myself two slices of marmite toast and a cup of green tea and I ate two cream crackers with butter while I waited for the kettle and toaster.

I'm now going to watch an American Civil War video on youtube .. and I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who posted here!

xxx

I hate people staring at phones if I'm doing jobs. It enrages me for some reason. I wouldn't do it. I would rather have the occasional row than put up with that so say something like ' come on let's get dinner started- you do the meat, I'll do the salad' or if it's ignored - " Hey why am I doing this ? Come and help me"

And, we always put music on for dinner - DP selects something every night and sometimes it has a link to the food eg. Slightly Latin feel if it's Mexican ...

Ooh . Read update . At least they cleaned up . It's great you have a passion - you need to prioritise it . Leave the house hold druggery in another room

They ate ALL the food?! That’s pretty off!

fontella, your post at 01.18 was quite mean spirited. I think the poster in question was just trying to lighten the mood.

2Cold4me mean spirited or whatever. You think she was trying to lighten the mood, I think she was taking the piss or being sarky or whatever. Who cares?

I was absolutely BOILING with anger at my daughter and partner tonight and I had the good sense to leave them, come upstairs, start a thread on mumsnet .. and now it's nearly 2am and they are both sleeping and the situation is defused.

And I've also learned something from all the collective wisdom on here ... some of which has helped, some of which I will ignore .. but then if you post on AIBU you know what to expect and as an old timer, I knew exactly what I would get when I posted here.

I just read back through this thread and I can understand why the poster who asked 'are you drunk?' wrote what she did.

So many typos and spelling mistakes due to the RAGE I felt when typing.

I am calm and zen now and just thinking whether I should go back downstairs and make a couple more slices of Marmite toast!

Thanks again everyone.

xx

I would think that them clearing up and putting stuff away suggests that they have realised they've pissed you off mightily.
I would also think that they decided that, since you hadn't made a reappearance while they were up, they were just going to leave you to it and hope you woke up in a forgiving frame of mind.

What I don't believe is that they think they've actually done anything wrong. :(

So maybe tomorrow you need to spell it out to them, if you didn't already when you exploded, how used and ignored you felt while they just let you skivvy around them, not even engaging with you. As for eating your portion of the food as well, that's just fucking rude.

Sort out what you want to change, and how you want that to look before tomorrow, then tell them. And stick to it as well.

It's an addiction and they'll find it very hard to stop. Just scrolling through video clips mostly. Empty little bits of useless info constantly feeding into the brain. Its like the rise of the mindless automatons. Scary when you think how many lose hours and hours doing this.

Glad it's all resolved OP. But in your shoes I'd do fuck all if they spent all that time on their phones absorbed in the minutae of other people's lives instead of living their own and being present in the moment.

How are things today OP? I hope they've apologised?

I had been rooting for you the whole time if you cared to read it. I was responding humorously to your previous post.
Shame.

Will he be sat at the kitchen table. Will he have gone into the lounge for the 'sleeping on sofa' scenario?

I'm about to find out.

To this to be precise.

It was noted by everyone else, Lucy - Just seems to be the OP that took your comment the wrong way.
Like you said, shame...

Maybe I am not as funny as I think I am

More fool you for running around like a blue arsed fly. Just let them get on with it.

Am late to this.

Completely get your point OP.

They are due a serious wake-up call.

And as for eating all the food - that was just bloody mean and they should be ashamed of themselves.

I understand why they’d rather spend more time on their phones than speaking to
You to be honest.
Unnecessarily rude to Lucy and your a martyr.

Yeah, you lost me when you were rude to Lucy.

and you are a fishface i think, fishface

hopefully things will change
just tell em, No phones.

my dm, bless her, has this rule, as we do quite often. i get it is hard to make rules to dh and a 22 year old, but you can ask nicely.
put the phones in a basket.

I am with you all the way and it is not unreasonable to want to have a lovely sit down dinner and create an ambiance in your own home.

Although I love my phone (for reasons etc. too long to go into here), it's not on during dinner time. That's sit down, chat and catch up time!

Nobody wants to play second fiddle to a bunch of strangers in a box!

erm, that is exactly what i said pengg

anyway, hopefully op got a result, the washing up and clearing up done and no more phones at the table

I wouldn’t like the way I spend my evening to be determined for me like that, I must say. All that “fun” and “engaging” (whatever that’s supposed to mean) sounds forced and deeply irritating.

I’m glad they cleaned up, they probably realised they’d overstepped the mark.
Have a ban on phones at dinner. To be honest we don’t often eat together but when we do definitely no phones at table. I used to get really pissed off at my exP who also was always on his phone scrolling aimlessly through Facebook or playing games or something. He would talk to me with one eye looking at the phone. I would either stop talking and stare at him until he noticed and say I’m not talking to you until you put the phone down. It felt really disrespectful that he couldn’t give me the attention he gave to his phone.