Am I being a princess or should OH remember this kind of stuff?!

[notonmynelly]

I know life doesn't revolve around me. OH has a demanding job but for example I've had important interviews, hospital test results (not serious ones but still) he will never ever remember. I don't get a good luck or "how did it go?" Just makes me feel like I'm not on his radar at all! But I just put it down to busy job and he genuinely forgets. Don't think I would forget if it was the other way around but still.

Today is the anniversary of my Dads death. It was quite traumatic and I was with him when he passed. I feel fine today. To me it just feels like the other 364 days I've been thinking of him. But I find it almost embarrassing that he is the only person who has forgotten again! Admittedly I do keep my emotions to myself, my lovely friend is taking me to lunch to raise a glass to my dad, another friend sent me flowers and a lovely text. But he has completely forgot!

I don't know if I'm being a princess or not. I'm not saying I want to mollycoddled today I just want him to remember my dad that's all.

All morning he's been texting me about an important meeting he has and I've been supportive etc but I think fuck sake come on how you can forget 🙁

This wouldn't bother me to be honest. My boyfriend would never remember the date my father passed away.

Sorry for your loss x

Fair enough. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Thanks x

Sorry forgot to add it's the first anniversary so maybe that's why I'm being a bit daft about it.

I honestly doubt I would remember this - sorry

My parents are still alive but all my grandparents have passed - and although I could tell you the month I wouldn't be able to tell you the date.

Just gently remind him later.

I wouldn't expect him to remember that kind of anniversary. But your other examples? Yes I would.

Possibly you are being a bit sensitive - though for your father and for you at this difficult time. The reason I say you may be being a bit sensitive is that I cannot remember the date of my own father's date let alone anyone else's father's. It sounds that you have lovely friends though.

I just thought the first anniversary he would remember that's all. I don't know why. Thanks everyone for your replies 🙂

I always remind mine when it’s coming up to that date and I think he’s now got it on his phone. I also have to remind him about stuff like hospital results etc, when I’ve been really busy I’ve forgotten stuff like that so I understand how it can slip.

I think context is key here... how long have you been together?

I’d be pretty miffed with my husband if he forgot something like this and carried on without a care in the World!

My boyfriends dad passed away a year ago. I remembered the date, how could I not? It was a very sad day for him and its been a difficult year.

On the date, I gently asked if he was going to go to the cemetery or a mass (hes not religious but his dad was).

When he came home that night I had a bath waiting for him and cooked a really delicious and comforting stew.

Thats just to let you know what I did for my partner for the one year anniversary of his dads death.

I would expect him not necessarily to do the same, but at least to ask how i was feeling.

I’ll change my answer a bit actually now I’ve seen it’s the first anniversary as I think he should have remembered and done something special for you.

I think December/jan is just a funny month for me. Dad would have been 60, first xmas and new year without him. I do get it's me being sensitive though, will go have a glass of wine at lunch and cheer up 🙂

We have been together ten years.

Yeah I probably wouldn't remember a date like that either tbh but things like hospital results and interviews etc, if my DH always forgot to ask how they I think I would feel like he didn't care too much either, I mean if he forgot some stuff it wouldn't bother me but if it was literally everything then yeah I'd feel like that.

Sorry about your dad though :(

I’m with you on this. If friends can remember these things then DPs/DHs should. I think it’s another example of men being let off stuff by virtue of being “a man with a busy job”.

I’d talk to him about it otherwise it could brew and harbour resentment.

how they went*

It would annoy me tbh. This day your dad passed obviously has alot of meaning to you - I had this kind of thing with my exh when I lost my mum 19yrs ago - I put it down to him having not lost anyone close to him.

Though when his mum did pass away he was very matter of fact about it - just another day kind of thing.

Strange men ain’t they !!!!

No I would be upset at this. He would maybe not remember the exact date but as it's so early in the year you would remember it was sometime after new year. Sometimes people just don't think, would he be apologetic if you reminded him? Sometime life is hectic and people forget. Hope you have a nice lunch with your friend, sounds like a very thoughtful friend. It's so hard. Not asking about job interview etc is thoughtless too

YANBU my OH remembers important dates.

I would text him back to say you would rather not be bothered with information like this due to it being the anniversary of dad's death.

He probably isn't doing it deliberately, and perhaps he's telling you about his day to distract you/keep you from getting too upset or down? I know it's never an easy thing to go through. Perhaps gently remind him when he gets home if he still hasn't mentioned it, or drop a subtle hint. He may be planning on something later on to let you know he hasn't forgotten and that he does care.

Yes Hesterton (sorry don't know how to tag people?) I do think it is that he's just bloody awful with dates. I'm probably being a bit of a martyr and should just gently remind him.

I think he sounds like an egotistical arse. "Oh i have an important meeting..." so fucking what? Pull your head out of your arse and notice your partner and what is going on in her life.

DMil died 7 years ago this Easter. I remember every year and give my husband extra hugs. Because i'm not a thoughtless arse.

I think YANBU. It’s the first anniversary of a huge event in your life

My mum died after a horrific disease and several years on, my lovely DH remembers the date without needing reminders.

Yes he always pulls out the "well I'm sorry I've had a busy day" card. Twat.

Well anyway, I'm going to go and raise a glass and listen to dads favourite reggae song later, that's enough for me 😀