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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Interview tomorrow but I'm broken

164 replies

Dailymailshutyamouth · 10/01/2018 16:34

I've got a big interview tomorrow for something I've always wanted to do since graduating.

I've prepared but I just feel so anxious. I feel like they'll laugh at me for thinking I even have a chance. I can't stand my voice and I feel like I'm rambling.

I feel broken this week. I've had a hellish time since breaking up with my narc ex, being sucked back in and then dropped again this weekend. I feel like crying all the time, I can't eat properly. And the worst thing is I can't speak to anyone about it because they're all saying they knew he would leave me again.

I feel like when i go tomorrow they'll just knock me back and so there's no point. Aibu to ring and cancel ? 😔

OP posts:
goldenlilliesdaffodillies · 10/01/2018 17:09

Don't cancel! Go for it.

I have always found hypnotherapy CD's really helpful. Paul McKenna does a great one about confidence. Maybe you could download something like that to help calm down.

Go for the job- whatever happens it will good experience.

millymollymandy46 · 10/01/2018 17:10

Ps boyfriend has done you a favour. Repeat that to yourself every five minutes!

Catanddogmake6 · 10/01/2018 17:10

Agree with the advice above but you also need to separate your personal life from your professional. Yes your personal life is upsetting and you may or may not have made the best decisions but that in no way reflects at all on your professional capabilities. You are not being assessed on whether you are good at choosing boyfriends. They want to see if you are a good fit for the role and if your CV didn't suggest you would be then they wouldn't interview you. Best of luck.

chickenowner · 10/01/2018 17:11

Strungout

Just reported your nasty and unhelpful comment.

Hoppinggreen · 10/01/2018 17:12

No OP you aren’t broken, you are just bruised
If you managed to leave a narc you are amazingly strong and you can do this
Good luck, knock their socks off x

Hoppinggreen · 10/01/2018 17:12

Me too chicken

whiskyowl · 10/01/2018 17:13

Use it! Stop being upset and get angry, and channel that energy to focus on this to the exclusion of everything else if you possibly can.

My friend got a job the day after her flat burned down. Shit happens, sometimes it can work for you.

Charolais · 10/01/2018 17:13

What??!! Your are saying you are considering not trying to get your dream job because of a bad relationship that made you feel like shit?

We all make mistakes by getting involved with a loser or two (I married mine - first husband) But they are not us, they don’t define us. This job is about you, your future. Go for it! If they don’t hire you, then keep trying. That is what life is all about - looking for our place in this world.

Keep knocking on doors and one day the right one will open. Never stop trying.

NewImprovedNinja · 10/01/2018 17:14

I went for an interview where I assumed I was only there to fill space and without feeling under pressure, I really enjoyed myself.
They offered me the job and said I was clearly competent as I was so relaxed and obviously knew my stuff (which I did).
Even if you don't get offered the post, try to enjoy the experience of meeting new people.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 10/01/2018 17:14

Reported nasty poster.

Not sure if anyone has already said this but when I'm recruiting I'm ruthless about who I invite in for an interview. You've passed the first stage - keep going for tomorrow.

Mrsmadevans · 10/01/2018 17:15

Don't cancel just try your best, you never know and anyway whatever happens it is brilliant to just get an interview and the interview experience is very useful for you in future. Try to let the man go .......he is no loss seriously.... the only thing you should be worried about is him coming back .

Charolais · 10/01/2018 17:15

StrungOutMummy It appears a lot of people care about her, including me.

orangewasp · 10/01/2018 17:15

Do not cancel, you've got to be in it to win it! You've done well to get an interview and it means they see you as a credible candidate. Dance around a bit before setting off to release some of that nervous tension and try to listen carefully to questions and slow yourself down a bit when answering to avoid gabbling.
Worse case scenario is that you get some valuable interview experience for the future.
Sorry about your ex - you're understandably upset , not broken, accept it will take while to feel better and be kind to yourself in the meantime.

ClashCityRocker · 10/01/2018 17:16

What's the worse that can happen? You don't get the job, but get an insight into the interview and recruitment process. Next time you will feel better prepared.

What's the best that can happen? You get the job.

Both situations are an improvement on your current position.

Sorry you've had such a shit time of things Flowers

ShellyBoobs · 10/01/2018 17:16

You’ve got to go for it.

What I would suggest is taking the positive from you thinking you should cancel.

If you cancel, you’ve definitely got no chance. If you go to the interview and screw up, you’re no worse off.

So try to relax and not worry about messing it all up because the worst that can happen is no worse than not going at all, is it?

Just try to take a “nothing to lose” stand point.

If nothing else it’s practice for future interviews!

chocatoo · 10/01/2018 17:18

Um well you do sound like you need to get a grip. Grit your teeth, pull yourself together and put on your big girl pants, etc. etc. If it's a big job, you need to be able to separate home/work life. Now: go for it!!!

RumTiTum · 10/01/2018 17:18

If you cancel you definitely won't get the job.
If you go you have a chance.
If you go but don't get the job you're no worse off than if you'd cancelled and have had good interview experience.

Go for it and good luck Flowers

RumTiTum · 10/01/2018 17:19

x post with ShellyBoobs, agree completely.

category12 · 10/01/2018 17:19

Don't cancel, this could be really good for you, a new start. Brave face and do it.

morningtoncrescent62 · 10/01/2018 17:20

Some good advice here.

I do a lot of interviewing at work, and we're used to people being nervous and a bit rambly. Our job is to make them feel sufficiently at east to come across at their best - after all, we're interested in what candidates have to offer. Any decent interview panel will do this, and if the interview panel aren't decent, then you wouldn't want to work there!

Something that always impresses is when candidates have done their homework about our company. So this evening, instead of dwelling on your past difficulties, try to refocus on the company you want to work for. If they have a website, study it in depth. Think about some questions you can ask that will show you've thought about how you can contribute - e.g. 'would there be opportunities for me to gain experience in task x'. What you've been through sounds hellish, but tonight is not the night for thinking about it, because that would be self-sabotage. Tonight is for imagining a positive future doing this job or something very similar. The very worst that will happen, as someone said upthread, is that you don't get the job but get useful interview experience.

Good luck!

bellagood · 10/01/2018 17:20

Don't cancel! Just go and be yourself! Smile

I wish you well, I really do. You sound lovely, I hope you get it!!!Flowers

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 10/01/2018 17:21

You're not broken op, just a bit bent out of shape!!

Don't cancel....

Otherwise you'll never know how you would do...
Companies DONT waste money interviewing people they don't think can do the job!!
If you go and don't get it - you may find sth interesting about the company /people

If you do get it - woo hoo! The start to a new life!

GingerbreadMa · 10/01/2018 17:22

OMG cancel OP definitely cancel. Say you would love to opportunitu to interview for the position again if it comes up but do cancel.

You can reapply another time but if you go now you might burn bridges, trust me, been there done that!

I DIDNT cancel in a similar position. They hired nobody from that round and re-advertised. I couldnt reapply as they asked for new applicants only.

I now sometimes see my interviewers professionally and its mortifying and awkward as I did SO BADLY in the interview and I worry it may affect my future progression.

Im not talking about just not doing well, I was not up to being there at all.

Rebeccaslicker · 10/01/2018 17:23

Lots of good advice here already so I just wanted to say good luck with whatever you decide to do, OP 🤞🏻

blueshoes · 10/01/2018 17:26

Everything everyone else has said.

I do interviewing. The people who put me off are the cocky over-confident ones. The ones who are a little nervous and unsure but clearly trying their best makes me want to root for them because I know they are happy to be given the chance to shine in a role.

Attitude is more important at graduate level) than actual experience. You have already passed the qualifications test, since your CV deemed you above the pack for an interview. You have more of a wind on your back than you realise.

Gird those loins and give it your best shot Flowers

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