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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inheritance - AIBU to have everything crossed for a windfall?

195 replies

UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 13:02

I have a namechanged for this because it may get very identifying...

Early last year my parental grandmother died. She left a small amount of money to me, and the rest of her estate to her two sons, one of whom is my dad . My dad hurriedly left the country 12 years ago to escape from HMRC so his share of the money was to be kept by his brother, who was going to send him an allowance every year.

In October my dad died of cancer, very suddenly. Neither me or his brother had had a lot to do with him for the previous 10 years, very long story but basically he's a compulsive liar) although we did go out and see him in the country he was living a few weeks before he died.

His brother has now sold his mothers house and so has doubled the amount of money he was due to inherit because he will no longer have to share it with his brother.

I do not feel comfortable asking his brother about this, hence I am driving myself mad thinking about it and hoping that it will occur to him to share some with myself as it's money he would not have had if it was not for the death of my father / his brother. Not all of it, it's an extra £150,000, but at least something...? £30k for example ?

OP posts:
maddnessintheroost · 10/01/2018 14:53

Get your gf's will and grant online. Go to a solicitor. You will need to know how your father's property was held - on trust/jointly with brother etc. Your father may have made a will. There is also the HMRC issue which could be lots of things - tax/benefits/etc

IAmNotThrowingAwayMyShot · 10/01/2018 14:53

Before anyone jumps in to nitpick my post, obviously I meant that in certain circumstances courts will look to the facts and intentions of the parties rather than just what’s in paper. Considering the OP was a child and had no voice in the adoption, and her father continued to behave as her father, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was one of those situations. As I said, though, I know nothing about probate, so I could very well be wrong. But the situation here is certainly ambiguous enough that it’s worth OP chatting with a solicitor who specializes in this sort of thing.

wishiknewthen · 10/01/2018 14:54

Hi OP,
What a horrible business.

I have sent you a PM!

blueshoes · 10/01/2018 14:56

DrMartha, it is not blackmail unless voiced as a threat.

Knowing the relative bargaining positions is a basic premise of all negotiations. I was just setting out the position.

Mxyzptlk · 10/01/2018 14:57

Don't be too shy to bring this up with Uncle. And check the situation out with a solicitor.
It's not being grabby. It's finding out your rights. Uncle should have thought of this anyway, or he's the grabby one.

DrMarthaJones · 10/01/2018 14:57

Sure, blushoes. You tell yourself that. Your post was very clear, but sure.

StaplesCorner · 10/01/2018 14:58

Why can't the OP just make enquiries after she hears what her Uncle has to say? I feel like some posters are making out she's greedy - how ridiculous, good luck to her I say!!

If OP is in the wrong for thinking she may get something then Uncle himself must be a complete and utter bastard purely by dint of the fact he received the money in the first place!

blueshoes · 10/01/2018 14:59

DrMartha you are beginning to lose your perspective. Why are you so invested in this?

sunandmoonshine · 10/01/2018 15:01

I think the OP should have been entitled to that money, and also any siblings she has.

@ladystarkers

'Wow just wow. Op its not your money.'

Wow just wow ! She is entitled to it more than her uncle is!

I mean like WOW just WOW that you would even say that! Hmm

DrMarthaJones · 10/01/2018 15:02

I think I explained that already. But then nobody rtft do they?

DrMarthaJones · 10/01/2018 15:02

Wow just wow ! She is entitled to it more than her uncle is!

Nope. Not even close!

StealthNinjaMum · 10/01/2018 15:05

Surely HMRC should've taken what was owed from your grandmother's estate? It's a lovely thought that you might be entitled to some money but I'm pretty sure when someone dies debts to HMRC get paid first, then other debts (e.g. mortgages etc) and any leftover goes to the relative. But a solicitor will advise you.

nauticant · 10/01/2018 15:05

Why can't the OP just make enquiries after she hears what her Uncle has to say?

No reason really since she considers him to be a decent sort and it would make sense rather than rushing around getting costly legal advice before the weekend.

But some posters aren't happy until they're having the OP jump through hoops.

sunandmoonshine · 10/01/2018 15:11

Wow just wow drmartha

Are you a lawyer???

Or a doctor like your name suggests???

Neither I expect.

You don't know for sure that the OP is or is not entitled to anything, so stop spouting your opinions as facts.

metacrisis · 10/01/2018 15:12

They aren't opinions though, I don't think? A simple google says that drmartha is correct, the law is simple enough.

beelover · 10/01/2018 15:12

Grandmother didn't owe the money to HMRC her son did.

QueenOfThorns · 10/01/2018 15:16

I think that until the OP returns and tells us in exactly what context she is mentioned in her grandmother’s will, we’re all just going around in circles!

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 10/01/2018 15:17

It is interesting that the OP was the one with the job of sorting out the funeral arrangements if she is not even next of kin (anymore) should the brother not have done that? Since she was allowed to do this does that affect anything?

sunandmoonshine · 10/01/2018 15:18

No, she cannot be certain.

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 15:19

I was mentioned in the Will has her grand daughter who was to be left £5000, and the rest of her remaining estate to be shared between her two sons.
Hence, my uncle now has my dad's share of the house to because my dad died and didn't leave a Will

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 10/01/2018 15:20

I hope you got the £5,000 at least, OP - ?

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 15:21

Yes, I was the one who sorted everything out with regards to his death, funeral et cetera.

Partly because I was named as next of kin by my dad in hospital, which is how we found out he was ill in the first place (the hospital contacted me) but also possibly because if it was left to my uncle he would probably still be in the morgue (he doesn't move fast!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 15:21

I did yes, I got it last Easter

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 10/01/2018 15:23

That's good!

Coyoacan · 10/01/2018 15:32

No expert in law, OP, but from the information you have given here, it sounds like the chance of you having any entitlement is slim. First you were adopted and then the taxman will have first dibs on your dad's estate. Add into that legal expenses and the damage to your relationship with your uncle, it sounds like a hide onto nothing