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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inheritance - AIBU to have everything crossed for a windfall?

195 replies

UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 13:02

I have a namechanged for this because it may get very identifying...

Early last year my parental grandmother died. She left a small amount of money to me, and the rest of her estate to her two sons, one of whom is my dad . My dad hurriedly left the country 12 years ago to escape from HMRC so his share of the money was to be kept by his brother, who was going to send him an allowance every year.

In October my dad died of cancer, very suddenly. Neither me or his brother had had a lot to do with him for the previous 10 years, very long story but basically he's a compulsive liar) although we did go out and see him in the country he was living a few weeks before he died.

His brother has now sold his mothers house and so has doubled the amount of money he was due to inherit because he will no longer have to share it with his brother.

I do not feel comfortable asking his brother about this, hence I am driving myself mad thinking about it and hoping that it will occur to him to share some with myself as it's money he would not have had if it was not for the death of my father / his brother. Not all of it, it's an extra £150,000, but at least something...? £30k for example ?

OP posts:
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 10/01/2018 13:52

Martha how is she not due anything? Her Grandmother left her estate to her Dad...half of it anyway....his brother was "to keep" the Dad's share and send him a monthly allowance.

The will says half each.

As OP is her Dad's surviving next of kin...of course she's due something.

MsHarry · 10/01/2018 13:53

Wait and see what happens at the drinks meeting. If nothing mentioned, I would casually and innocently ask what happens to your Dad's share of your Grandmothers's house.

burnoutbabe · 10/01/2018 13:54

also the man dies abroad (hong kong?) having lived there as a resident for 10 or so years.

So the will/intestancy may well be dealt with under different laws than the UK one's and establishing which laws apply would be complex.

nauticant · 10/01/2018 13:56

There is no tricky situation

Of course it's a tricky situation DrMarthaJones. The OP has to have an awkward chat with her uncle about a lifetime of mess and now this new mess.

Stop treating this thread like your own personal courtroom for you to prance around doing your Perry Mason impersonation. Pompous is never a good look.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 10/01/2018 13:56

Not if the will was made in the Uk and regarding a UK estate.

Buggeritimgettingup · 10/01/2018 13:56

Martha is correct in saying if you are adopted then you no longer have any legal rights to ex parents estate.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 10/01/2018 13:57

That was to burnoutbabe

PugonToast · 10/01/2018 13:57

@UnravelMyMind

You wouldn't believe the shit that families pull to get their grubby hands in inheritance they think they are due.

Similar circumstances to you but he died with a will. Didn't stop his thieving sibling bastards renting a removal van to strip his house of valuables before we got there (neighbours told us much later) and searching everywhere hoping there was an alternative will which cut us out and left it to them.

They were his executors too. Oh god. It was horrible.
Many sympathies. I wish I could offer you lots of good news and hope but prepare yourself for a shower of shit and money being used up intentionally on solicitors.

Also, they turned on me very fast because I questioned them. You will realise blood may be thicker than water but money is thicker than blood (that analogy didn't work did it)

Also, is there any chance the HMRC could put a hold on the money to claim his debts.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 10/01/2018 13:59

Oh right! Bugger...I didn't see OP's adopted and so not her Dad's nok.

Well OP I hope your Uncle does the right thing!

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 13:59

The easiest scenario would be for us to sit down and for him to mention it straight away! It would certainly be far less awkward.

My uncle is very much a decent person, he is very steady and unassuming, in a stark contrast to how his brother was!

I have had quite a few friends mention whether I will be getting my dad's share of the estate, and I suppose it's fuelled me into thinking about it more and more.

Like I have said in previous post, I'm certainly not going to start sending letters via solicitors, I also strongly suspect that I wouldn't have a very strong case despite being mentioned in the original Will as my grandmothers granddaughter, and also being the official next of kin when my father died in Thailand.

I know that the subsequent adoption when I was very young would be a large spanner in the works. What will be will be, but I don't think I am being unreasonable hoping that I will get something

OP posts:
Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 14:00

Pugon that is awful!

OP posts:
Ellendegeneres · 10/01/2018 14:00

It was made very clear to a family member when her dc was adopted by her husband that the dc would no longer be considered in law to be a relation of her ex h. That they therefore would not be entitled to any inheritance automatically as an heir- only if left something in a will. In which case (of no will I mean) it would pass to the next living family member.
So by this, op would have no legal recourse to the money. I know you say you wouldn’t go for it legally anyway op, but i agree- I recognise you from previous posts (can’t remember username though) and desperately hope your uncle decides to help you out and gift you some of the money.
All the best

ChaosNeverRains · 10/01/2018 14:01

As OP is her Dad's surviving next of kin...of course she's due something. except she isn’t his next of kin because she’s adopted. He gave up his parental rights when the OP was two and as such her legal next of kin is her adoptive father not her biological one. Legally she is due nothing.

Morally, by receiving any money owed to her dad she is also complicit in tax evasion.

I’d imagine he owed a hell of a lot of money to the Revenue if he was prepared to leave the country over it.

JessieMcJessie · 10/01/2018 14:04

cheapsausages OP explained that she was adopted by her mother’s new partner. The adoption means that she is no longer legally related to her biological father and has no right to claim from his estate under English intestacy rules.

However she is a named beneficiary of the grandmother.

FooFighter99 · 10/01/2018 14:04

OP, I hate to put a downer on things, but I think you need to be prepared for your uncle to disappoint you. Money and inheritance bring out the very worst in people (I don't speak to my dad's side of the family because of a will/inheritance and how it was handled).

You may not be entitled to anything legally, but it would be lovely if your uncle put that aside and gave you a gift because you are his family, but don't hold your breath.

I hope the meeting with your uncle at the weekend goes well

Gingernaut · 10/01/2018 14:05

CheapSausagesAndSpam, did you miss the OP's post stating she was adopted?

Adoption cuts all ties with the biological family.

Unless specifically mentioned in a will, the adopted child gets nothing on the biological relatives' deaths.

The OP was mentioned in the grandmother's will, but unless there was further provision made for her on the death of her biological father, she inherits nothing else.

It's unlikely the OP's bio dad left a will at all and the bio GM wrote her will for one son to hold the other's inheritance in trust.

sycamore54321 · 10/01/2018 14:06

There could be a simple explanation for the house that makes the rest of the complex mess irrelevant. If left to both father and uncle, they can be joint owners in one of two ways - joint tenants or tenants in common. With one form, it means they each own a 50% share which can be transferred in their will or by intestate after death. With the other though, if one joint owner dies, the surviving simply becomes full owner. So it may be that the uncle has become sole legal owner upon death of his brother/OP's father. This will be the first thing a solicitor will explore.

MinorRSole · 10/01/2018 14:10

*Of course he’s not a decent person!

He’s complicit in helping OP’s father to evade taxes, going by the fact that HMRC were on the case,*

I'm totally ignorant on legal matters but the brother was following the will instructions. Yes this makes him complicit but does he have a choice?
It's a genuine question - technically the money is not his is it? If he had paid the hmrc back from that money would he then have been in hot water for going against the specific will instructions.

It's not a situation I anticipate ever being in, no tax dodgers in the family as yet, I'm just curious as to the answer

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 14:16

that's interesting sycamore. I strongly suspect nothing was done officially though but is this automatic?

OP posts:
WhatIWant · 10/01/2018 14:17

Yanbu to hope for some money.

Does your uncle have a wife or any children?

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 14:20

As for my uncle being complicit in tax dodging, he just didn't get involved in any of his brothers affairs as it would only go tits up. This would also include grassing him up to anyone relevant about any of his many wrangles.

OP posts:
sycamore54321 · 10/01/2018 14:21

The terms of the grandmother's will (assuming it was drafted by a solicitor) will say whether the house is left as joint tenants or tenants in common. I'm afraid I can't remember what the default is if it isn't specified but any half-competent solicitor will advise you in an instant.

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 14:23

WhatIWant he has a partner who he has been with for about 30 years (on and off) and she has two children who are now in their early 40's. They all got something out of his mothers initial estate (before they sold the house) despite not being mentioned in the Will (his mother doesn't like them!) I get the impression from my uncle that he would not involve them further with any subsequent money stuff. They get on well but they are very much his partners kids

OP posts:
DrMarthaJones · 10/01/2018 14:23

Of course it's a tricky situation DrMarthaJones. The OP has to have an awkward chat with her uncle about a lifetime of mess and now this new mess

she doesn't have to have any conversation at all. I wouldn't be calling up my ex uncle and saying "hey, can I have some of your money please?". Would you?

OP, I would be "hoping" for a bit too, but not very hard. I am sorry, but you are getting terrible advice on here who are not only paying attention to the details, they are also being rude to those that are and are giving you good advice. It's all very well them telling you to get a solicitor, but its not their money that would be wasted, is it? It's yours.
Because the law is very very clear on this: an adopted person has no legal relationship or claim to the estate of their biological family. NONE.
Unless you are named as a beneficiary in the will, which you know re the gm and don't think there is likely to be one for the bio father.

Original poster
UnravelMyMind · 10/01/2018 14:23

I'll look sycamore as Im now back home after walking the dog!

OP posts: