To prefer to live without a man

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

If my relationship ended, in my next relationship, I don't think i want to live with a man again. Clearly it means you can afford a better/bigger place but my ideal would be to live a few streets away from one another, but not the same house.
Reasons:

Different style/taste - I dont want to compromise

More laundry

Having someone in your personal space

Never just being alone with time to lounge by yourself

Having to have his friends/family over every now and then

Obviously those are all totally normal everyday things you have to negotiate, but maybe that's just who I am - a selfish control freak?

How did you feel when you moved in with your partner?

I live 6 minutes walk away from my partner.... Close enough but not too close 😄

Don’t Tom Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter have neighbouring townhouses in New York? That sounds like a luxury!

Tim*

Oh fine, sorry, it’s adjoining apartments in Hampstead, not townhouses in Manhattan! I googled.

I love living with DP, but mainly because he's out a few times a week at different hobbies. When we're both home all of the time, we get on each others nerves. Or, at least, he gets on mine...

What about if you're married and choose to live apart but be together in a committed relationship? I'm so going to do this when I win the euro millions lottery! I like my own space now more so I'm no longer a young 'un. I just want to sit in my pjs, drink coffee and watch telly uninterrupted in my dotage.

I've gone back to living with a partner after having a few years living on my own after my marriage ended and I found it hard to adjust after having my independence, much as I love him.

I think if we ever did split up I'd happily live on my own for evermore.

I lived with my ex husband for 23 years before I kicked his lying cheating backside out.
The guy I've been with for the last 2 years has his own home, and life is brilliant!
Date nights are more exciting coz you just go to more effort when you're inviting someone round / going to theirs...
The fact that it doesn't affect me if he hasn't picked up laundry / emptied the bins / done the washing up (he always has, but that's not the point) is so refreshing!
Any you don't have to check with anyone if you want to go out with the girls unexpectedly, it's completely up to you!
In fact I can't see us moving in together for a very long time, if at all! I'd 100% recommend it :)

DH definitely makes more work around the house than he saves me.
Especially food wise. DS and I would be quite happy with scrambled eggs for an evening meal. I find myself making moussaka.

You wouldn't catch me dead picking someone's dirty pants off the floor. I'm a wife and cohabiter, not a fucking skivvy

I definitely agree with this! But then DP doesn’t leave his pants on the floor because I’d probably throw them at him.

I wouldn’t want to live with someone who made me feel uncomfortable. We work because we both work together in the house, I don’t do everything and I’m not expected to by him. He works long hours so time to myself isn’t in short supply either, and we both love football, rugby, F1 and boxing so no issue with sports either. If he watching sports I don’t like I’ll go off and do something else, and if I’m watching my crime shows he’ll do something else.

I suppose it all comes down to respect doesn’t it? A lot of the issues women have raised on this thread aren’t about men per se but about men who have no respect for women. XH was like that, the 4 years between getting away from him and meeting DP were lovely! It was just me and DS1.

I was a bit nervous when DP moved in because I was so set in my ways (and have diagnosed OCD specific to germs and contaminants) but he was great. I made it clear I’m not a skivvy and housework isn’t “wifework” and neither is childcare. But then if he thought it was we wouldn’t be together.

@BaronessBomburst

Completely agree re the food thing. I find myself buying meat to make a proper dinner 6 times a week when I would just have a bowl of cereal or some beans on toast left to my own devices.

I have no intention of ever living with another man again.

I'm not good at sharing my space with anyone other than me and my kids.

I'm an introvert and need time alone to decompress, or I start feeling depressed, trapped and like I'm going insane.

The older I get, the stronger my feelings on feminism and society in general become. I've not yet met any man who agrees with me enough that I could live with them.

No way am I making myself vulnerable to emotional, financial, sexual or any other form of overt or coercive abuse/control ever again. You don't truly know anyone until you live with them (and even then, people are very God at hiding their true selves for a long time). Never.

That all makes me sound paranoid, lonely and sad, but I'm really not! I love not being answerable to anyone other than my kids, the thought of having to run it by someone else every time I go out, cook or buy something just doesn't appeal any more.

YANBU

I happily(ish) married but if anything happened to DH or we split up I can't imagine wanting to live with a man again

A relationship with someone who lives nearby sounds ideal to me!

My DH works away all week and has done for pretty much of the past 20 years.. I work also F/T

We are just about to retire..

I love him dearly and hes definitely more domesticated as concerns housework than I am .. BUT its going to be a MASSIVE change! DCs grown and flown so I am so used to having my own space.. just me and Dcat all week

I have to say I am slightly worried , (but I wouldn't tell him that!) I may have to build a shed/chalet in the garden - just for me!

I find myself buying meat to make a proper dinner 6 times a week

WHY?!?! That's what I don't understand.
Why can't you ask your husband to prepare diner because you can't be bothered, ask him to grab some food on the way, tell him you are having a bowl of cereals so he needs to organise himself.
It's mean if someone expects diner, but why don't you just tell him in advance?

Laska5772 you BOTH need a hobby that takes you out of the house AT DIFFERENT TIMES/ DAYS, and start compromising about routines. Good luck, it must be a shock to start.

I have a lovely DH, but I also agree, if anything happened, I would live on my own (or with the kids). I lived for several years on my own before we met and it was completely fantastic.

Well I don't think I could afford not to
But we have a four story house and wen dc at uni he eYvjdx to in their room so there's room to spread out - wd love to live alone tho .