To prefer to live without a man

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

If my relationship ended, in my next relationship, I don't think i want to live with a man again. Clearly it means you can afford a better/bigger place but my ideal would be to live a few streets away from one another, but not the same house.
Reasons:

Different style/taste - I dont want to compromise

More laundry

Having someone in your personal space

Never just being alone with time to lounge by yourself

Having to have his friends/family over every now and then

Obviously those are all totally normal everyday things you have to negotiate, but maybe that's just who I am - a selfish control freak?

How did you feel when you moved in with your partner?

Nothing wrong with wanting your own space and live the way you want.

I am happy with DH. We moved in together because it was getting to a point when not living together was a pain in the butt and finally having all our stuff in one place was bliss. The financial aspect didn't even come into it.

I had years on my own before, and I am glad I did. I still don't recognise my married life in most of the descriptions above. We both have our own space, and neither of us are a slob. I do agree with above, you still need some space and feel at home in the entire house. That's why I think it's really important for each of my kids to have their own bedroom.

If you prefer being on your own, nothing wrong with it. It's not true that all cohabiting couples are miserable. I do enjoy someone making me diner, I enjoy sharing my bed - but I wouldn't survive in a double, even without the kids, I love having someone to speak with. I enjoy someone popping in the shop in the evening when I run out of wine and I fancy a glass but I am already in my pyjamas. Living with my DH doesn't mean I spend my life cooking/cleaning/tidying up after someone (that's being a mother )

I've never been one for snuggling up, I prefer a single bed.

Luckily my flat is so small that no man would dare intrude or else he'd be flung out of the window

I'm happy being single, I want my own space.

YANBU

I feel the same. Numerous benefits as far as I'm concerned;-
The whole bed to myself.
No snoring or fidgeting to disturb me.
I can eat what I like,when I like,without having to take someone else into consideration.
I can go to bed when I like and get up when I want.
I can watch what I want on TV,with the added bonus of not having someone talking over 'my programmes'.
I don't have to bother with anyone else's laundry.
The bathroom is always clean and tidy with no stubble or toothpaste smeared round the sink,or wet towels left on the floor.
The toilet seat is always down,with no wee on the seat or floor.
The flat is always how I left it (i.e. tidy) when I get home.
Probably more reasons but I can't think of them at the moment!

I've been with my DP for 7 years. About 18 months ago he moved from about 6 miles away to about a mile away and it suits us both perfectly!

He lives on his own and I live with my adult DD. One of us stays with the other once or twice a week.

My only problem is other people who always seem to assume that I must be desperate for him to move in with me (nobody ever thinks he's desperate for me to move in with him!) but I'd be quite happy plodding along like this for the next 30 years.

I find it quite sad that most posters seem to think that living with a man means losing your freedom. Having children does that, but a partner?

And pee on the floor? Really?Who does that!

Been divorced for 10 years. I’m happily single and absolutely love living on my own. I can’t imagine I’ll change my mind about it.

I would not live with a man again.

'I find it quite sad that most posters seem to think that living with a man means losing your freedom. Having children does that, but a partner? '

What's sad about not wanting to live with another adult? Some people don't like that, for whatever reason. They're perfectly capable of having a satisfying relationship without living together with their boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.

Currently living on my own for the first time ever! Have dc half the week and absolutely love it, can't imagine living with another adult again....Ive got far less money but it's worth it

What's sad about not wanting to live with another adult?

that's not what I said at all, and you are even quoting my post where I didn't say it.

I think people should live as they please, on their own or as a couple. What I am saying is that I don't understand why some posters think that living with partner = losing freedom. Take children out of the equation, the ONLY thing that I "couldn't" do since moving my now husband is having sex with someone else. I had as much freedom with or without him (then children appeared...)

Didn't Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter have next door houses with a connecting door? That sounds rather good.

Frankly, there's really no extra room in the bed once the dogs and I are settled for the night.

It’s the only thing that I like with DH working shifts. A couple of nights a week he works 7pm - 7am.

Kids go to bed earlier, I get to control the remote and have a nice relaxing evening.

Don’t get to sleep alone though. My 3 year old likes company around 3 in the morning.
And my 6 year old must think I need protecting as she often comes in beside me when daddy on nights.

I love DH and prefer when he is there but do like my own company too

I love it too.......
No-one expecting me to cook like master chef after day at work
A clean bathroom
No disappearing food
No constant whining that food is from Tesco rather than the farm shop
No things being put away broken and unadmitted to
No snoring or endless wandering about in the night
No need to compete over EVERYTHING from scrabble to jogging

It's such a relief !

I reckon having two apartments in the same block, or have 2 houses

And pee on the floor? Really?Who does that!

Have to agree this is not something I have ever encountered with partners or housemates.

I am also puzzled about the argument toilet seat up/down. Even if you have separate toilets, don't people close the lid before flushing?

I totally forgot about the bathroom. Dear gawd, that used to annoy me something awful. The minute I would go in there, ex would need to be in there and would be hurrying me along every bloody time. I couldn't even tell you the amount of times I was expected to talk/explain/tell him to piss off whilst brushing my teeth. No, he couldn't wait for me to finish doing what I was before he had to take a shit.

And I can bath for as long as I please, shower for more than twenty seconds without banging on the door... aahhh cannot believe how one of the things that annoyed me the very most, was forgotten.

My Great Auntie and Great Uncle lived two streets apart for 30 years, visiting each other daily. I actually found it a bit odd when they moved to a different town and moved in together!
I've been single for ages and love living alone, I think I'd find it hard to compromise now.

I think I'd find it hard to compromise now

Agree with this Cheese. I couldn't tell you the amount of people (just one yesterday) who has implied that my attitude to enjoying being alone is not ideal. Maybe for them it isn't, but for me, I think it is ideal. When I asked them why they thought that, he said that the more independent you are, the more independent you become. Well, that is the point isn't it. Not everyone has to have someone to depend on all the time imo.

Is there also an age element? Now (mid fifties), I am very happy living alone, but can see how, in maybe twenty years, I might find having another person around quite reassuring.
But I reiterate- living alone, and being able to run a house, is a luxury. And an expensive one. Once on a pension, do people think differently?

I would love my own bed for sleeping. I love my husband dearly but I find bed sharing incredibly difficult - the noise, the movement, the farting!

@ohfortuna

Accusations of selfishness are used to shame women into devoting their lives to the comfort and convenience of men.

This hit home!!!!! So true. and living alone is the best.

living alone, and being able to run a house, is a luxury.
Only if you compare with 2 adults in full time work, and it also depends hugely where you live and what your income is

It seems that single women seem to have priority and a lot more help than couple for all sorts of benefits

No financial benefits here. Just NMW earnings and a constant struggle for money. At least if I live with someone else I might be able to afford heating/hot water!