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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the no pubes thing is a trend....

530 replies

inmyshoos · 10/01/2018 07:55

My previous career had me seeing people's genitals on a daily basis. Most had full pubic hair. Now I can see (mostly on naked attraction) that fully shaved is the fashion.
But was slightly surprised when a 50 something friend of mine said he prefers shaven as I assumed he would be less 'trendy' like me with my 80s stylefanny
Is it just a personal preference?? In my day at work it was defo rare to see fully shaved. Out of 20 people you'd be lucky if 2 were bald!

OP posts:
fastfrank · 10/01/2018 20:20

I just shave the fucking hairs off, seriously what's so difficult about that?

Italiangreyhound · 10/01/2018 20:24

Keepingupwiththejonesys "Serious question, those who don't shave/wax or whatever down there. When you're on your period does your bush not go all...bloody"

It used to get a bit bloody but I took baths and showers and all was well.

My periods are now a distant memory!

BarrackerBarmer · 10/01/2018 20:36

Has anyone posted this yet?

Woman nearly died from shaving her public area. It's rare, but given the risk, I'm hoping I can bring my dd up to be perfectly happy with her hair, and entirely immune to everyone else's expectations before she contemplates shaving. I think it's hard for young girls to contemplate acceptance of what an adult female body looks like naturally, if they reject many aspects of it from the moment they hit puberty.

ArcheryAnnie · 10/01/2018 21:44

Bloody hell Barracker, that's awful.

fastfrank · 11/01/2018 06:07

The argument is now that it's because that's what a women's body looks like naturally. So I'm guessing none of you with this viewpoint wear make up, dye your hair, pluck your eyebrows etc? Surely if your body is supposed to look natural then you should let your grey hair grow and not shape your eyebrows?

shhhfastasleep · 11/01/2018 06:14

Yawn. Of course women who don't shave their pubes do all the other stuff like eyebrow plucking etc. Hilarious that you think they don't Grin. Because people can SEE that and it makes you feel better. Only a select few can see your pubic area.

PinkietheElf · 11/01/2018 06:35

There is such a difference between men and women (should say most men and women) in that men get up in the morning put on trousers or jeans, then t shirt or shirt, comb through hair and out the door. Women have a huge range of clothing styles to ponder over, shoes hi, flat, boots , make up, blow dry hair, etc
I'm talking about people who go out of the house, not all those who are in all day where it is much more similar between the sexes.
It cant' be that women only like the colour and range of styles as in the past men dressed similarly eg the Tudors, even the Victorians when they were in similarly subdued clothing, though perhaps that was the start when women had hoops etc and men had comfortable clothes.
I know many will come on saying they don't fuss about clothes etc. But the norm seems to put pressure on women so much more than on men, I wonder how we got here.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 11/01/2018 06:57

I don’t get this argument that it’s the same as wearing make up. Yes these are all things you do to improve on nature but There’s a spectrum here. Filing your nails is at one end, foot binding at the other! Personally I draw the line at stuff that hurts or damaged skin. pubic hair removal fails on both counts. Notion you would put wax our hose v harsh creams on a delicate area seems nutty to me.

CrashBangWollop · 11/01/2018 07:18

So, a summary of the thread:

OP asks if no pubes is a trend.

Mixed responses ranging from yes seems to be, to meh not really and people I know have been doing it for years etc etc.

Cue discussion about why people go pube free:

  • Perhaps porn has had an influence?
  • Posters giving examples of how they've experienced or witnessed pressure on women/girls to go pube free.
  • Conversely posters saying they personally haven't experienced pressure but do it for their own reasons.

Cue discussion on why people’s do it vs why they don’t:

  • some posters prefer au natural, some don’t like how it looks, some have experienced itchiness/ingrown hairs, some find it a faff, its better healthwise.
  • posters who prefer bare/Brazilian cite personal preference as to how it feels, experiences of better sex, some posters find it less messy/more comfortable during their period, some because their partner likes it.

All of the above perfectly sensible, reasoned discussion from different points of view - what MN is for... yay!! Grin

Then we descend into utter fucking madness....

  • if you do it you must be a pornstar.
  • if you say you do it for any reason other than because of porn or peer pressure you’re lying.
  • vaginas are the same as heads when it comes to bodily secretions and cleanliness.
  • if you find having periods messier when you’re hairy you’re dirty and need to wash more.
  • if you find having periods messier when you’re hairy you think periods are dirty and something to be ashamed of (no one actually said this ?!)
  • it’s not ok to remove your pubes because of peer pressure/societal norms but it is ok to not want to go out without shaving your legs/under your arms/pluck your eyebrows because people see those (does anyone see the contradiction here?)
  • it’s ok to not correct misogynistic language if it’s someone’s opinion.

and my absolute favourite - only slags do anal sex (how we got to anal sex from pube removal is beyond me)

WTF Mumsnet??????

fastfrank · 11/01/2018 07:44

You're only spending time doing eyebrows etc because people see them. Well people see my fanny, my husband and myself, so how's it any different?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 11/01/2018 08:24

Personally I draw the line at stuff that hurts or damaged skin. pubic hair removal fails on both counts.

Nope, it doesn’t fail on either count for me. It doesn’t hurt and I don’t get damaged skin, but a lovely smooth area I’m happy with.

RoseWhiteTips · 11/01/2018 10:57

We’ve now even got a woman nearly dies post in an attempt to stifle choice.

fastfrank · 11/01/2018 11:03

@RoseWhiteTips I usually like to remind myself that I could die doing the most mundane or essential things, eg choking on food. That's a hell of a lot more likely!

SoupDragon · 11/01/2018 11:18

Woman nearly died from shaving her public area.

No, she nearly died from what appears to be an infected nick to the skin. It just happened to be whilst shaving her pubic area.

PinkietheElf · 11/01/2018 12:02

It’s utterly ridiculous that posters are insisting it’s painless, easy or whatever. It depends how much hair you have, into what sensitive areas it spreads and whether it’s coarse and thick or fine and sparse.
Stop being silly!

JacquesHammer · 11/01/2018 12:03

It’s utterly ridiculous that posters are insisting it’s painless, easy or whatever

Surely no more ridiculous than those suggesting it's painful, hard or time consuming

Grin
stickygotstuck · 11/01/2018 12:07

Totally agree with Pinkie.

On a similar note, those epilaton adds saying that "it lasts for 4 - 6 weeks" give me the rage. Not in my wildest dreams. Or in the dreams of countless women I know. Not even the newly added 'up to' can bring down the surge of anger.

stickygotstuck · 11/01/2018 12:08

Jaques, which is why Pinkie said "It depends how much hair you have" etc. Hmm

JacquesHammer · 11/01/2018 12:11

@sticky indeed. But I've actually seen no-one on the thread suggesting their experience is the same for everyone!

Gottagetmoving · 11/01/2018 12:14

If you like to be shaved or waxed or whatever and its a personal preference then great. If you are doing it for anyone else then not so great.
Years ago, midwives shaved your pubic area before you gave birth..now they don't. There is no need to shave for any other reason than personal preference.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 11/01/2018 12:40

As always, it is NOBODY else's business what a woman does with her body. If she modifies it for herself or even somebody else, it is her choice to do so. End of. Really, really, end of.

You (general) can argue principles all you like - there's absolute rage on MN when there is any suggestion of a man making any sort of decision about a woman's body... but when it comes to other women having agency over what other women do... tally ho!

The last thread was much the same except for an interesting point made by a male poster about his hair removal choices and he was told that what he did didn't matter. I laughed at the lunacy of the same dismissive poster then continuing with her diatribe to the women on the thread, dictating what they should and should not be doing with their own body hair.

There's no need for women to shave/wax whatever body part, all hair is natural. The hypocrisy of some women who rant at women who remove pubic hair yet themselves remove leg hair/underarm hair for 'visibility reason' makes a nonsense of feminism. You either accept that women will make their choices - are free to do so - and you accordingly leave the alone - or you absolutely walk the walk and women will continue to do what they want.

So the 'not so great' bollocks can just get to fuck, as far as I'm concerned because many of us do things to improve our appearance for ourselves - and other people - and as long as there's no coercion there is no issue.

CrashBangWollop · 11/01/2018 13:10

Exactly what @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe said!!!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 11/01/2018 13:14

Ha, I was admiring your post earlier, CrashBangWollop, I think it gave me inspiration for mine.

Bernard46 · 11/01/2018 13:39

Bows to lyingthewitch

shhhfastasleep · 11/01/2018 13:41

Not ranting. Not a hypocrite for shaving under arms. Expressing a preference. You do you. I'll do what suits me.

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