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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the no pubes thing is a trend....

530 replies

inmyshoos · 10/01/2018 07:55

My previous career had me seeing people's genitals on a daily basis. Most had full pubic hair. Now I can see (mostly on naked attraction) that fully shaved is the fashion.
But was slightly surprised when a 50 something friend of mine said he prefers shaven as I assumed he would be less 'trendy' like me with my 80s stylefanny
Is it just a personal preference?? In my day at work it was defo rare to see fully shaved. Out of 20 people you'd be lucky if 2 were bald!

OP posts:
Anniethinggose · 10/01/2018 14:35

I tell you what my opinion would've been in that situation, Honky. I'd have said it was terrible that the friend was being coerced and that she should LTB. I'd speak generally about never ever engaging in anything you don't feel comfortable with and that any man who pressures is abusive.
I wouldn't sit there giving me personal opinions on intimate sex acts in order to inflict shame on any woman or man who enjoy mutually enjoyable behaviour as consenting adults.
And I would educate anyone, why calling women slags is completely wrong. Especially any child or grandchild of mine!

Anniethinggose · 10/01/2018 14:36

My* personal

HonkyWonkWoman · 10/01/2018 14:37

Well done you!!

Bimbler · 10/01/2018 14:38

They said "it's only slags do that Dgm and it's gross.

Your grandkids sound pretty gross themselves tbh.

shhhfastasleep · 10/01/2018 14:38

Good luck telling a 19 year old what language to use Hmm.

Italiangreyhound · 10/01/2018 14:40

@Anniethinggose

"Italian I am not 'into nudity' either as you put it, but I don't cover my body with shame if I'm getting out of the shower when my eldest is about, or when I share baths with my younger son. I'm not trying to actively show them my body."

I'm not ashamed of my body.

You actively said about showing a naked body to your children to show what a woman looks like. Isn't that nudity? I'm not saying it's bad to be nude around people. But for me, I am not nude around anyone except my husband. Hence I'm not into nudity. Sorry if that was not clear, not even sure what point I was making so please ignore me! Smile

"I'm not sure what your other comment means, my body is unlikely to look like my son's girlfriend's? It might or it might not, I thought the topic here was body hair?"

The topic is indeed body hair.

"So I'm sure my sons have seen some on me on occasion and therefore will not be shocked or disgusted to discover it's quite normal, but more importantly, a woman's personal choice."

That's good. I can't even remember what we were saying but sorry if the nudity comment offended you. Please ignore me.

JacquesHammer · 10/01/2018 14:41

They said "it's only slags do that Dgm and it's gross

They sound utterly foul. I hope you discussed with them the use of misogynistic language

Anniethinggose · 10/01/2018 14:41

Methinks the damage is already done at the age of 19, shhh I would agree.
Much better to bring kids up without such disgusting attitudes to women than try to correct later but there you go!

shhhfastasleep · 10/01/2018 14:44

The 19 year old is not her kid as many on here seem so quick to point out. She can bear no responsibility for their use of the word "slag".

Anniethinggose · 10/01/2018 14:47

Italian with respect I really think you've got the wrong end of the stick with the 'nudity' thing. I don't give my children graphic lessons on female anatomy or actively show them my body. I really don't like the thought of that. My children have seen no more of my body than most children see of their mothers who don't go to huge efforts to hide their bodies. It was just a small point I made. I don't like where this has gone.
I agree with you on all other points.

Anniethinggose · 10/01/2018 14:48

Shhh if she has the authority to tell them her opinions on anal sex then she has the authority to tell them why misogynistic language is wrong.
They don't have to take heed. But it's worth trying.

Italiangreyhound · 10/01/2018 14:49

@Anniethinggose I'm happy to say Yes I have got the wrong end with the nudity thing and I am sorry if I upset you, not my intention. " I don't like where this has gone." Sorry I really did not mean that. I think I misread you and I really apologuise for that.

shhhfastasleep · 10/01/2018 14:52

I love the idea that Honky has "authority " because she was asked her opinion.

Eleanorsummer · 10/01/2018 14:55

I got ipl as prefer no hair there, don't mind it on my legs though. I prefer the feel of no hair, but don't know how anyone can say there's no pressure on women to remove their pubic hair... there definitely is, I've heard people call women who don't unclean etc.
Yes, more men shave too now, but they are not shamed if they decide not to.

Anniethinggose · 10/01/2018 15:02

Shh, you pointed out that Honky wasn't the mother. So I said IF she has the authority to say one thing then surely she could say another (authority as in, parental/grandmotherly/other respected member of family).
Whatever.
Italian thank you I really appreciate that. I won't be on here again though, it's really upset me how I've portrayed myself as something I'm not. I can't anymore

HonkyWonkWoman · 10/01/2018 15:03

I know shhhfastasleep!

I answer a question and apparent I now have authority!

These people are actualey on another planet.

But, it's making me laugh, how up themselves they are about a little conversation I had with my Dgds 19.

Italiangreyhound · 10/01/2018 15:03

@Anniethinggose shall I report my comments re you and try and get them deleted? Sorry again. Blush

HonkyWonkWoman · 10/01/2018 15:09

Anythingoes, I actualey don't need any authority to answer a question to my Dgc.

I was just answering a question! They gave their answer.

What is wrong with you?

Bimbler · 10/01/2018 15:12

This thread makes me yearn for the halcyon days of my youth where I’d side by the fireside with my grandmother and discuss anal.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/01/2018 15:13

Honky you said:
"...and don't get me going about anal sex, that someone mentioned. I've told my Dgd's if anyone suggests it tell them to eff right off!"

Are you, or are you not sweeping all people up with your goady statement? Or was it specific to your family only?

I said 'agency' by the way, not 'authority'. You don't have that.

Same old, same old. No woman is allowed to take off her body hair without being harangued by the same group who are so very vocal BUT do actually remove hair from their legs for swimming as they aren't that brave. And yes, I was shocked by that statement from a very strident feminist on here who I'm not going to name.

=====

Anyway, for anybody who get ingrown hairs, that lotion is really quite good.

shhhfastasleep · 10/01/2018 15:14

Honky, I think it's pretty great that a 19 year old is asking your opinion on anal sex.

When I was 19, I didn't have anyone to ask. Like most 19 year olds, I had my own views which bitter and lovely experiences have tested over time.

shhhfastasleep · 10/01/2018 15:16

You seriously think that the decision to remove leg hair is the same as the decision to remove or not remove pubic hair?
Funny old world.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 10/01/2018 15:21

HonkyWonkWoman So you haven’t tried anal sex then, as I thought, which means you don’t have an accurate or informed opinion on it.

There’s nothing wrong with it; many women find it pleasurable. I also find it hilarious that you have the gall to call other posters pearl clutchers when you have such vitriol about an act you haven’t even tried and consider abnormal.

Considering your granddaughters happily use mysoginistic language around you without being corrected, it pretty much tells me all I need to know about how they, and your own child, were brought up.

Bimbler · 10/01/2018 15:34

You seriously think that the decision to remove leg hair is the same as the decision to remove or not remove pubic hair?

Well what’s the difference?

It’s only in recent decades that women have removed leg and armpit hair. It doesn’t serve any purpose other than (some) people decided it was more aesthetically pleasing. And full removal of pubic hair is just a continuation of that.

sunandmoonshine · 10/01/2018 15:36

I absolutely fucking hate anal sex, but don't judge other people who do it. Not for me though, not at all. (And yes I have tried it a few times in the past.)

It's quite clear why men want to do it, (nice and tight in there,) but I cannot fathom why women want to do it. It's really not pleasurable IMO. And it made me feel horrible (in my asshole,) afterwards.

Meh each to their own, but I dislike it, and DH has never mentioned doing it again, after we tried it 3-4 times over a number of weeks (about 15 years ago,) and I didn't enjoy it. He wants me to be happy and comfortable, and knew I hated it, so he never bothered me about it again after I had said 'no more.'

To say women are sluts for having anal sex, is fucking disgusting though. Were these individuals who said this raised in a barn! (In the 19th century?!) Hmm (Although I don't believe the grandkids said that and it is actually the opinions of @HonkyWonkWoman Wink )

@RavingRoo

If a man is only into oral on a shaved clean vagina, then I’m sorry but he isn’t into oral. If a man absolutely can’t stand pubic hair then he’s probably not into grown women.

What a load of fucking shit. Do you actually read your inane drivel posts before you click 'post message?!' Hmm

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