Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feet on my new sofa - AIBU?

136 replies

wineoclock1 · 08/01/2018 19:08

This is going to make sound v precious and house proud, which I'm not, but this is a real bugbear for me and I'd like to know if AIBU or WWYD?

I had a playdate at my house today for a few mums and their daughters. One of the mums I've known for about 6 months, and she is lovely, but during the playdate kept climbing on my new sofa and putting her feet on it. It was really annoying me but I didn't say anything as I though I would sound anal. It's not the first time she has done it, and I honestly don't think she believes she is doing anything wrong. We don't put our feet on the sofa, it's just our thing, and I find it really rude when people come to me house and do so.

AIBU? Would you have said something to her?

OP posts:
RoseWhiteTips · 09/01/2018 12:41

Even if it’s cream leather.

Llangollen · 09/01/2018 12:54

not everybody has a Grey house you know...

friedchickenfrickin · 09/01/2018 13:08

YANBU at all op! That's fucking grim! I'd do it in my own home but never in anyone else's! No matter how well I know them.
I think I'd prefer someone putting their shoes on my sofa than their bare sweaty feet.

God I hate it when MIL wears her bare feet in my house, looks like something off the lamisil advert, I die inside when I see them all on my rug that my baby rolls around on. She always picks her heels as well, so so grim.

If you couldn't tell already, I really hate feet.

Littlebitshort · 09/01/2018 13:45

What a strange lady...she was CLIMBING over your sofa with her bare feet!!? I thought you meant the child and was going to say that the child needed telling off. An adult climbing on a sofa and a new cream one aswell.....erm NOPE! I have a beautiful very light grey fabric sofa and a child. I expect my 6 year old to behave in way that dosent ruin our sofa (certainly no climbing or watsits) and we have had no problems. Dining tables are for eating and trees are for climbing! Iv never had a guest climb over my sofa and I would never dream of going to someone elses house and putting my feet on the sofa in anyway, how rude! Before anyone asks, yes we do snuggle on our sofa but we have to be fully clothed altho sockless is fine as we are clean people!

Trinity66 · 09/01/2018 13:50

I thought you meant her child was climbing on the sofa first! How odd for an adult to climb on someones sofa but I agrees with PPs, if she has no shoes on I don't see an issue about feet on sofas, do you not put your feet up on your own sofa?

tabbywabby · 09/01/2018 13:51

YANBU to be annoyed, or not want people to do this.

She was super rude to climb over your furniture and put her feet up without asking.

We put our feet up at home, but I've never done this anywhere that wasn't a) a close friend's home b) where I haven't been invited to. I can't believe people do this at acquaintances' houses and without being told they can Shock If someone I didn't know well did this, I wouldn't tell them off (unless they had shoes on) but I'd definitely think they were ill-mannered.

Trinity66 · 09/01/2018 13:52

tabbywabby

Yeah I guess it would be odd also to put your feet up in someone elses house unless you knew them really well...I still can't get over a grown adult climbing on someones sofa though Grin

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/01/2018 14:09

Guests in our house are welcome to put their feet - minus shoes - on our sofas any time, though I don't suppose anyone we don't know well would do it. (partial exception for a Canadian cousin I'd never met before, who instantly made himself at home with feet up, though maybe I should be glad that he felt comfortable enough to do it.).
I have my feet up on ours all the time. I don't see the point of a sofa where you can't. Might as well just have armchairs.
To me, furniture is for comfort, not for show, though years of feet up has never stopped our sofas looking nice.

WitchesHatRim · 09/01/2018 14:16

Maybe the floor was cold on her bare feet if you'd already made them take their shoes off.

CeciliaBartolli · 09/01/2018 14:49

I wouldn't like it, but I would say nothing. Because I want my guest to be happy and it is not the sort of thing you can say without causing offence. Put a blanket over next time.

Jaxhog · 09/01/2018 14:55

Is it feet on the sofa (OK) or an adult climbing on the sofa (not OK) that's the problem?

ZoopDragon · 09/01/2018 15:01

I think YABVU. It's not like she had shoes on. I always sit on the sofa with my feet tucked up under me or my knees up, it's comfortable. I always wash my feet and wear clean socks before going to someone's house though.

Our sofas are leather, so easy to wipe clean. I don't understand why people buy fabric sofas for a room you entertain in, what happens if a child's nappy leaks on it or a drink is spilt??
If you don't like feet on it, you could always cover it with a throw and wash between guests.

We're a shoes off household too. I wouldn't think anything of a visitor's bare feet/socks touching my sofas! It would be very rude and offensive to ask them to keep their feet on the floor, as you're implying their feet are dirty!

SpiderWilliesOnYourFrillys · 09/01/2018 15:06

The climbing over the sofa was very weird I would tell off any on my Dc of or doing that

I never know how to relax on my own sofas I always feel awkward as growing up we were never allowed our feet up or even lie down on the sofa we had to sit upright at all times Hmm and my m was in no way house proud

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 09/01/2018 15:10

Ugh, I hate feet anyway, so smelly bare feet on my sofa would be well yucky. Socked feet no problem. But each to their own.

purpleweasel · 09/01/2018 15:59

I am very short and it is rare that I can sit in any chair/settee and touch the floor with my feet. This gets uncomfortable after a while so I habitually sit with my feet tucked under. Definitely no shoes though!

HarrietSmith · 09/01/2018 16:08

This is a bit of a diversion but on the first page a suggested 'house rule' to me made clear to guests was

'Downstairs loo - wees only.'

Now nobody has ever indicated to me what is and isn't an acceptable use of their loo. When necessary I've asked, and people have given appropriate directions.

How do you see the conversation going?

'Can I use the loo.'
'What do you want to do there?'

Can I use the loo?
'Yes, provided you're not planning on any bowel movements.'

'Can I use the loo?'
'If you're weeing downstairs. If you're pooing, upstairs?

'Can I use the loo?'
'Wee only. Otherwise could you please leave now.'

CeciliaBartolli · 09/01/2018 16:14

I know a Mum and she is always shoes off, climbing on everything , sits cross legged perched on a table( yes a table) Secretly, we call her Monkeygirl. At least, my Mum does. It's a bit gross. She sat next to me with her legs folded against her and broke wind recently.
Just weird. It's an affectation.

userofthiswebsite · 09/01/2018 20:26

OMG I can't believe someone is comparing this to putting feet up on seats on trains.
People who put feet up on trains are wearing shoes that have walked in the general muck, dirt, dog mess and god knows what else that cover our pavement.
People's socks are clean, unless of course, your guest walked to your house in her socks...

Very obviously not the same thing at all.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes · 09/01/2018 20:29

There was a thread the other day about ridiculous rules from your childhood. If my parents wouldn’t have allowed me to put my feet up on a sofa, I would’ve written it in that thread. Luckily however, they believed in people being comfortable. When I have people visiting, I like them to make themselves comfy too.

Gwenhwyfar · 09/01/2018 21:09

I hate sitting on a sofa in the same way I would sit on a hard backed chair. That's really uncomfortable. I always sort of sit on my feet. I wouldn't want to stay more than about an hour at your house.

Llangollen · 09/01/2018 22:00

I am amazed how many people own completely uncomfortable sofa. As much as I do like lounging on mine when we are alone, they are perfectly comfortable and allow you to sit.
How do people survive at work, or even just in a restaurant if you can't sit properly for a little while?

Gwenhwyfar · 09/01/2018 22:15

I have an office chair at work Llangollen.
I can manage in restaurants, but I find long-distance bus and train journeys difficult unless I can adjust myself in some way. The cinema hurts my bum too much.

Gwenhwyfar · 09/01/2018 22:16

"If my parents wouldn’t have allowed me to put my feet up on a sofa, I would’ve written it in that thread. "

My dad moaned about it sometimes. I'd put my feet down and then just put them back up again a few minutes later.
It was funny because at school if we sat in a comfortable way and the teachers would sometimes ask 'Do you do that at home? to which the answer was 'yes'.

RhiannonOHara · 10/01/2018 10:25

Are you so sure they were sweaty?

I have been known to put my socked or occasionally bare feet on other people's sofas. No one has chucked me out, although I guess it's possible people have started MN threads about me. Grin I wouldn't climb over someone's sofa though and I don't even climb about on my own.

It's shoes off in our house; it's cleaner but, more to the point, more comfortable. How can you relax with your shoes on?

Slightly off-topic, I also hate seeing kids being allowed to stand/walk on chairs and tables in public with shoes on.

e1y1 · 10/01/2018 10:42

Not RTFT, but non shoe feet, whilst a bit too overfamiliar for a play date guest, I wouldn’t bother too much. Climbing on the sofa I’d be deeply annoyed about. Shoes on the sofa and I’d go mad.

Swipe left for the next trending thread