Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feet on my new sofa - AIBU?

136 replies

wineoclock1 · 08/01/2018 19:08

This is going to make sound v precious and house proud, which I'm not, but this is a real bugbear for me and I'd like to know if AIBU or WWYD?

I had a playdate at my house today for a few mums and their daughters. One of the mums I've known for about 6 months, and she is lovely, but during the playdate kept climbing on my new sofa and putting her feet on it. It was really annoying me but I didn't say anything as I though I would sound anal. It's not the first time she has done it, and I honestly don't think she believes she is doing anything wrong. We don't put our feet on the sofa, it's just our thing, and I find it really rude when people come to me house and do so.

AIBU? Would you have said something to her?

OP posts:
MrsDustyBusty · 08/01/2018 20:00

Why do people revel in making guests uncomfortable in their homes?

UnRavellingFast · 08/01/2018 20:00

We all have our things so not unreasonable to have a feeling that you can't help. But I think you might set yourself up a bit with your group of friends if you say anything. Socked O'r bare feet tucked up at mate's House is nice and normal IMV. But if it makes you unhappy, have a couple of play date blankets you throw on the sofa when the group comes round. Quite wise with kids running about anyway.

Fattymcfaterson · 08/01/2018 20:07

I don't understand. What's going to happen to the sofa if people put their feet on it!?

WaggyMama · 08/01/2018 20:08

OP what do you and your family do, sit bolt upright?

Ginkypig · 08/01/2018 20:09

Tucking your only socked feet under you while sitting on my couch is fine (I do it too) but climbing on my couch especially by a person who I don't know that well, nope!

Ansumpasty · 08/01/2018 20:09

Without shoes I don't see it as an issue as long as her feet aren't black from your floor, which I guess they weren't.
The climbing part is interesting Hmm

WaggyMama · 08/01/2018 20:11

This?

Feet on my new sofa - AIBU?
rothbury · 08/01/2018 20:12

OP what do you do when you have an afternoon nap? Confused

MistressPage · 08/01/2018 20:13

So you never curl up on the sofa OP? Your house doesn't sound very warm or welcoming. To be honest if I was the friend and you asked me not to put my feet on your sofa I would think you were a massive nob...

stickytoffeevodka · 08/01/2018 20:13

Me too, but not on a bloody play date.

Why? What's the difference?

NorksAreMessy · 08/01/2018 20:15

What were the possible consequences?
Dirty sofa?
Broken sofa arm?
Ummmm, ruffled velvet.....

I am failing to see what is the ACTUAL problem

Cantspell2 · 08/01/2018 20:15

What you do on your own sofa is different from what you do on someone else’s. I would do a double take at any one who climbed over my sofa arms and put their feet up.
Having a play date/ coffee in someone else’s house is different than curling up with a dvd and your oh in your own home.

Knittedfairies · 08/01/2018 20:16

I would put my feet on my new sofa, but not on your new sofa.

meredintofpandiculation · 08/01/2018 20:18

Wow, the world has changed! Putting feet up on sofa is something I'd never do in someone else's house. Finding it really hard to believe that it's something that is now thought to be acceptable.

Topseyt · 08/01/2018 20:18

If she had her shoes on then you would not be unreasonable. But she didn't. She had worked feet. No problem there.

She shouldn't have climbed over the arm. That is weird. But having feet up on the sofa is no problem, surely. It is called being comfortable.

Do you all sit formally in your house? Bolt upright with arms folded and legs crossed?

Topseyt · 08/01/2018 20:19

Socked feet. Stupid autocorrect.

StopCallingMeShirley · 08/01/2018 20:25

Climbing over the armrest is more odd than tucking her feet up! Who does that in their own home, let alone on a playdate?

That said, just because I curl up on my on own sofa, doesn't mean I would do it at an acquaintance's house. I would always tend to sit more 'formally' unless with a close friend who is also curled up.

I second the suggestion to put a blanket over the sofa when you are having playdates.

That or barbed wire all round, with gun placements and big bitey dogs on each corner.

blueskyinmarch · 08/01/2018 20:29

I would probably put my feet on your sofa too. I instinctively tuck my feet under me when i sit on a sofa. You should feel pleased that she feels comfortable and at home in your house. I find it weird that you never put your feet on your sofa!

Pannacott · 08/01/2018 20:32

Weird to not want shoe-free feet on your sofa Confused

Pannacott · 08/01/2018 20:32

Weird to not want shoe-free feet on your sofa Confused

Fluffyears · 08/01/2018 20:33

Why would you want to make your mil feel uncomfortable Fluffy?

Tucking feet up is one thing but she had her gnarled bare feet up and they never look that clean, her floors are a bit dusty🤢. It’s brand new and also sitting like that meant not everyone could sit down as I only have two two seaters due to room layout! I don’t put my feet on her sofas as she’d have an absolute fit if I dared!

Gizlotsmum · 08/01/2018 20:33

I take my lead from the host. So if they put feet up I would too but if they didn’t I wouldn’t

Somerford · 08/01/2018 20:37

I think it's rude to put your feet up on someone else's couch whether she had her shoes on or not. I would never do that but she's probably just not thinking. If she does it at home and it's become second nature it probably hasn't occurred to her that it might not be welcome. There is a world of difference between doing something on autopilot and thinking "I wonder if she'd mind if I put my feet up on her couch? I won't bother asking, I'll just do it". I doubt she intended to be rude.

imnottoofussed · 08/01/2018 20:38

I wouldn't put my feet up on someone else's sofa unless they were also doing that. It's over familiar otherwise. I definitely wouldn't climb over the side even on my own sofa.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2018 20:43

We don't put our feet on the sofa, it's just our thing, and I find it really rude when people come to me house and do so

When you say it's our thing op what do you mean? It's an unusual thing for a family not to do that in their own home. So is it not one persons rthing and everyone else agrees?