Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feet on my new sofa - AIBU?

136 replies

wineoclock1 · 08/01/2018 19:08

This is going to make sound v precious and house proud, which I'm not, but this is a real bugbear for me and I'd like to know if AIBU or WWYD?

I had a playdate at my house today for a few mums and their daughters. One of the mums I've known for about 6 months, and she is lovely, but during the playdate kept climbing on my new sofa and putting her feet on it. It was really annoying me but I didn't say anything as I though I would sound anal. It's not the first time she has done it, and I honestly don't think she believes she is doing anything wrong. We don't put our feet on the sofa, it's just our thing, and I find it really rude when people come to me house and do so.

AIBU? Would you have said something to her?

OP posts:
Jigglytuff · 08/01/2018 22:07

Do you never lie on the sofa?

I admire your optimism in buying two new cream sofas when you (presumably) have a baby!

Llangollen · 08/01/2018 22:07

nd don't have close friends lounging round, drinking wine, eating crap and chatting

...should I feel bad that I have? Don't you realise that not everybody lives the way you do?

Bluntness100 your playdates certainly sound.. different! Grin

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2018 22:08

Sorry not play dates, just friends round,,,

Notso · 08/01/2018 22:11

No wonder some kids find it acceptable to put their feet on the chairs in waiting rooms, restaurants or other public places. No one has bothered telling them no to do it!
No doubt some haven't been told not to but it doesn't have to one or the other. My kids can put their feet up at home but would never do it in a restaurant etc.

Maryann1975 · 08/01/2018 22:11

I didn’t know anyone would have a problem with this. I do it all the time without thinking, maybe I should check with the sofa owner before putting my feet up next time.

Llangollen · 08/01/2018 22:12

I can picture the face of my hubby if I had taken off my bra when we popped for a quick drink at my neighbours earlier Grin

Llangollen · 08/01/2018 22:13

My kids can put their feet up at home but would never do it in a restaurant etc.
but the point of the thread is about putting your feet up on other people's furniture...

stickytoffeevodka · 08/01/2018 22:15

No wonder some kids find it acceptable to put their feet on the chairs in waiting rooms, restaurants or other public places. No one has bothered telling them no to do it!

Yeah, because there's no difference at ALL in between doing it at home and out in public Hmm

Oooocrikeyitscold · 08/01/2018 22:15

My friend filed her nails on my new sofa........!!!!!

LexieLulu · 08/01/2018 22:28

YANBU, really bad manners from friend

SequinsOnEverything · 08/01/2018 22:41

Now I'm worried I've offended loads of people, I always sit with my feet under me on the sofa. Never occurred to me anyone would be annoyed by it!

RainbowWish · 08/01/2018 22:45

No one is allowed to sit on my sofa arm Angry
I doubt she would be fine if the rolls where reversed and you were clambering all over her stuff.
My fil sat on the arm of my sofa. He got pulled up straight away but I don't like him so I was fine at doing that.
It's awkward with an aquaintence.

Llangollen · 08/01/2018 22:46

I think at the very least you take your cue from the host, if they do it in front of you, they won't care if you do,

RebelRogue · 08/01/2018 23:20

First thing I do when i get to two of my friends houses is ask if i can take my bra off now Grin

confusednorthner · 08/01/2018 23:43

I'm quietly realising that I've possibly been upsetting friends for years, I can't sit straight, feet are normally tucked up!

Sillybilly1234 · 08/01/2018 23:49

She must feel very relaxed and welcome at your home if she is sitting that way.

You don't make yourself that comfortable unless you are at ease with your host.

With that in mind I would think that you could talk to her.

Better still, try it yourself. It is much more relaxing.

funnyfoursome · 09/01/2018 11:34

I'm petite and a lot of sofas are really deep so unless you've got tons of cushions I actually end up perched on the edge unless I've got my feet curled under me

TattyCat · 09/01/2018 11:57

I'd never put my feet up on someone else's sofa, unless they were a very very good friend and I knew it was ok.

My DSD's always do this and it used to drive me nuts (sofas are too small now so they don't tend to do it and they're only visiting these days - bit older now). It drove me nuts because all 3 of them had seriously horrible stinky feet. They'd take their shoes off at the door and although had socks on, you could smell their feet from 3 rooms away! So yes, I had a problem with them on my sofa.

lookingforthecorkscrew · 09/01/2018 12:05

I don’t understand what the problem is with having feet (in socks) on the sofa. How are feet in socks worse than butt cheeks in trousers?!

lookingforthecorkscrew · 09/01/2018 12:06

Are people allowed to fart on your sofa too, or do they have to go to a designated area?

Chaotica · 09/01/2018 12:06

Another thread where MN amazes me. I don't think I tend to put my (shoeless) feet on other people's sofas much, but not because it occurred to me that it was wrong. (The DCs told me in amazement that former MIL has such a rule, but she has ridiculous rules.)

2rebecca · 09/01/2018 12:07

I think it's rude in someone else's house unless it's a relative or a small child.. I mainly find it odd that there are still people wandering around without socks in this freezing weather. I suspect I wouldn't invite back an adult who climbed over furniture as they sound very juvenile, but I didn't have kids round to play until they were old enough to come alone unless the parents were good friends and I wanted to see them. I couldn't be bothered with entertaining adults who aren't my friends. You say she's otherwise lovely so next time just ask her not to climb on the sofa or put her feet on it. She may think you're a bit anal but it's an easy thing for her to stop doing.

Mia1415 · 09/01/2018 12:11

I always sit with my feet tucked under me (even on my office chair at work!).

I never realised I might be causing so much upset!

(although this thread has reminded me of my dear Nan, who put a towel on her sofa when my dear Dad (her son) and I visited in case he was wearing shorts and had sweaty legs). It still makes me giggle.

sinceyouask · 09/01/2018 12:12

She didn't have shoes on, so I genuinely don't see the problem.

lookingforthecorkscrew · 09/01/2018 12:12

Also who buys a cream sofa a) in 2018 b) with small kids in the house? Ours would be covered in Wotsits dust within a week!