Upset about strange bruises on ds

[namechangedforasecond]

Posting here for traffic. Name changed for this.

So ds 4 has been a bit moany when carried for last few days.

He doesn't nap anymore and Dh usually does bedtime so puts diaper on and by low lamp light as it's bedtime.

He was going to nap today as feeling a little under the weather. I've noticed a bruise each side of his groin. Kind of where the big artery/leg vein is prominent.

Asking him how he got it he got very upset and said the monster did it. At our local community centre the other night. (We were there for dinner and the kids all run around in an adjacent room and play.)

I've asked if it was a kid monster (one of the kids was pretending to be a monster) but he's adamant it's a grown up monster. And it gave him monster scratches.

He's also saying it's a secret which is throwing the fear of God in to me. In my experience that's not the kind of thing a four year old comes out with, maybe an older child.

We've always talked about how we don't have secrets. Ever. Secrets are not good things and not something we do.

He doesn't seem upset or traumatised.

But I'm really trying to hold my shit down. The bruises are weird, the only way I could see them happening accidentally are by falling on to a bike saddle or similar. I just can't for the life of me see how they happened.

I don't even know what I'm posting for. It's not like there's anyone to tell or anything much to tell. I feel like I should tell his teacher in case he complains about them or notices and thinks it's odd.

Could they look like the pressure from fingertips poking or knuckles pressing ?

That's an unusual place to get a non accidental bruise

They could. That's what I'm trying not to freak out about. If it was summer and he was on a bike or see saw I could see how but I cannot think of a thing that would cause them now.

And it's both sides. Not just one. Jesus Christ my mind is running away with shit I don't want to ever have had to think about.

Take him to the doctor.

When I said he doesn't seem upset or traumatised I meant since when he's saying it happened. He does get upset when I ask him about it but then he had a foot issue recently and got equally upset about that. Like most kids he doesn't you you for messing or questioning a painful are.

That's what i want to do but dh thinks it's ott. I'd rather get it recorded iyswim.

My heart is breaking. I really don't want to think the worst here. Please see if he will give more information. Maybe get him see by a doctor too.
I'm so sorry I don't want to freak you out by saying the above. I'm a little hormonal. Please update us and let us know how he is xx

Agreed with PP. Take him to see your doctor.

I'd call the nspcc. My child is normally a straight arrow but has said occasional things that give me pause. I think all children come out with something unusual once or twice. If you have any reason to suspect truth in it, however small - ie, he was out of sight, there are marks to back up claims of inappropriate behaviour then you need to follow that up as best you can.

I suggest maybe call NSPCC tonight and a doctor's visit Tomorrow?

OP have a look on the NSPPC website for advice. Sorry you are going through this, your mind must be racing.

Have a casual chat that everyone knows dc don't have to keep secrets from their dm -
kind of thing.
Explain that dps are good at solving problems and making worries go away when they know EVERYTHING about their dc!!
Leave it a few days then pick up the conversation again.

It's not ott

Gp's are trained in safeguarding and recognising when a bruise could be accidental or not

You, and your dh, are not (or certainly not when you are so close to the situation)

I think posters are right here; get it checked out and soon. You will not rest until you know what's up. Praying for it to be an innocent explanation

You have some options here, but you’re right to be concerned. You can call the police or social services if you believe someone has harmed him in this way. They have specially trained interviewers for children and should handle things sensitively. Or you could go to the GP about the bruises- TBH, GP should refer on to social services with a history like this. It sounds scary but you’re right to ask for help. For specialist anonymous advice you can call the NSPCC helpline. Obviously no going back to the community centre for dinner unless you supervise him directly 100% of the time.

When was the community centre event?
When you or your dh get him dressed in the mornings did you not notice it then?

We're in the States. I don't know what there is here similar to nspcc but my friend is a social worker so I'll ask her.

He's saying it was a grown up monster. That he don't know. We're a very remote and tight knit community and we know everyone. He was with some older kids. I could fucking shoot myself. I've always been over anxious and over protective of ds and people have been telling me for ages to let go a bit and this was the first time he'd been out of my eyesight (unless at home.)

I don't want to ask him too much, I don't want to lead him in to saying things that aren't true.

What was the set up at the community centre? You were eating in one room and the kids were all together being supervised in another room? How long was he in there for?

I'd also suggest NSPCC/ GP, as part of safeguarding training they know accidental bruises.

Bruises to both side of the body are classed as of concern. That said I have seen bruises travel, one of my DC hit their cheek (fall) and it became a black eye, and also sliding down the banister

We were eating dinner in one room and the kids were in another playing. But running back and forwards. There's only one policeman here and I very much doubt they've done anything remotely like safeguarding or child safety training.

Are you positive they are bruises? And has he ever made stuff up about monsters hurting him before?

I know one isn't supposed to probe, leave it to the experts etc, but I would be asking him some more questions.

Hope it turns out to be nothing op.

My daughter often used to get bruises there from misaiming when sitting on the potty, but there were no other causes for concern like you have. I’d be inclined to dig further

One is a bruise the other looks kind of sore. It's hard to see and he went nuts as they hurt so I'll have to wait for Dh to get home and hold him down. Which won't make things much better.

Maybe it's a weird medical thing. I'm going to book an appointment with the doctor now.

What kind of play equipment did they have in the hall? Anything that he could have been riding or sitting on? A slide he could have been going down with his legs on the outside?