Upset about strange bruises on ds

[namechangedforasecond]

Posting here for traffic. Name changed for this.

So ds 4 has been a bit moany when carried for last few days.

He doesn't nap anymore and Dh usually does bedtime so puts diaper on and by low lamp light as it's bedtime.

He was going to nap today as feeling a little under the weather. I've noticed a bruise each side of his groin. Kind of where the big artery/leg vein is prominent.

Asking him how he got it he got very upset and said the monster did it. At our local community centre the other night. (We were there for dinner and the kids all run around in an adjacent room and play.)

I've asked if it was a kid monster (one of the kids was pretending to be a monster) but he's adamant it's a grown up monster. And it gave him monster scratches.

He's also saying it's a secret which is throwing the fear of God in to me. In my experience that's not the kind of thing a four year old comes out with, maybe an older child.

We've always talked about how we don't have secrets. Ever. Secrets are not good things and not something we do.

He doesn't seem upset or traumatised.

But I'm really trying to hold my shit down. The bruises are weird, the only way I could see them happening accidentally are by falling on to a bike saddle or similar. I just can't for the life of me see how they happened.

I don't even know what I'm posting for. It's not like there's anyone to tell or anything much to tell. I feel like I should tell his teacher in case he complains about them or notices and thinks it's odd.

Yep, straight to ER OP.

Hope he's ok, OP

Hope he's OK OP

Of course by the time we got to the doctors his fever had gone down, rash had gone and he'd perked up a little. He's still pretty miserable though and does have a slight fever.

Doctor says it's probably a virus. There's a load of horrid things going around. Possibly an ear infection as he's also complaining that he can't stand as he's dizzy. He's prone to them so it's possible.

Doc thinks the bruises could have been lymph nodes (or that I'm a lying nutcase ) but there's nothing there now, not even a rash. I'm still concerned he was saying it hurt so much but the doctor said they can be tender when swollen.

I'm am still concerned about the monster and the secret comment. My guess is one of the older kids was doing something he shouldn't or trying to get the little ones to do something 'naughty'.

He'll definitely not be doing any unsupervised play with kids (especially older ones) for the foreseeable future (20 years.) It's sad and I'm sure everyone will tell me I'm being over protective as usual but I don't really care.

That was without a shadow of a doubt (apart from ds' birth which didn't go so smoothly) the most panicked and gut wrenching few hours of parenting I've had yet. Thank you for your help all, (apart from those suggesting Dh was abusing him or i was a troll ).

We don't have access to an ER in the evening apart from helicopter unfortunately so it has to be a life or death thing.

It's really made me think about where I live and feel uncomfortable about it that's for sure.

OP I do think you sound caring, but also very anxious. And I honestly say that as someone who can become anxious myself.

you're probably right. I'd hate to be the parent that didn't take them to the doctor when needed or brush something under the carpet though.

Clearly you'd get him to a doctor, OP, that's not the part that's concerning about the anxiety.

The idea that ever letting your child out of your sight will result in abuse, and the huge amount of anxiety you have over that, is really worrying. Children raised by parents who think this way become very anxious and paranoid themselves. I'm all for teaching kids not to take undue risks and I'm all for supervising children, but eventually you have to let them spend some time without being under your constant watchful eye. It's terribly unhealthy for kids to have no time away from their parents.

He has time away from us at school. And at play dates he'll go off and play. I'm just not happy with him going off with older kids or in a public place again for a whole. He's only just turned four, I don't think that's over anxious.

Hope you're ok Op, really glad your fears weren't confirmed. Sometimes we can all have these moments of panic. Hopefully it's all a learning experience in some way or other,

I don't think you over anxious: you've noticed strange thing and wanted to know what it is. Your son is only 4 and can't explain things properly so you stayed calm with your son and then went to MN and put your concerns -- you were absolutely right.

Also I suspected that being in different country, with less familar system and in quite remote location understandably contributed to your worries.
Hope you all are ok!

He has time away from us at school. And at play dates he'll go off and play. I'm just not happy with him going off with older kids or in a public place again for a whole. He's only just turned four, I don't think that's over anxious.

That doesn’t seem particularly unreasonable to me personally.

I hope your DS is ok

Great news OP, glad all ok. Not over anxious at all! You sound like a great mum. Hope you have a less eventful rest of the week!!