Upset about strange bruises on ds

[namechangedforasecond]

Posting here for traffic. Name changed for this.

So ds 4 has been a bit moany when carried for last few days.

He doesn't nap anymore and Dh usually does bedtime so puts diaper on and by low lamp light as it's bedtime.

He was going to nap today as feeling a little under the weather. I've noticed a bruise each side of his groin. Kind of where the big artery/leg vein is prominent.

Asking him how he got it he got very upset and said the monster did it. At our local community centre the other night. (We were there for dinner and the kids all run around in an adjacent room and play.)

I've asked if it was a kid monster (one of the kids was pretending to be a monster) but he's adamant it's a grown up monster. And it gave him monster scratches.

He's also saying it's a secret which is throwing the fear of God in to me. In my experience that's not the kind of thing a four year old comes out with, maybe an older child.

We've always talked about how we don't have secrets. Ever. Secrets are not good things and not something we do.

He doesn't seem upset or traumatised.

But I'm really trying to hold my shit down. The bruises are weird, the only way I could see them happening accidentally are by falling on to a bike saddle or similar. I just can't for the life of me see how they happened.

I don't even know what I'm posting for. It's not like there's anyone to tell or anything much to tell. I feel like I should tell his teacher in case he complains about them or notices and thinks it's odd.

You're doing the right thing going to see the doctor as soon as possible.

Good luck op.

Don't want a row with you Op. Sorry you don't like the advice which you asked for.
Drip feed there from you about your own s.a. Yet you claim that you don't know anything about safeguarding and post on a forum?

Perhaps stick with your social worker pal and your husband's take on things. Did you want us all to tell you the child had made it up and not to worry?

I sincerely hope things go ok for your little one.

Thanks, Allfed.
I agree that the bruising is terrifying - but in the OP's case, it surely would have spread by now? And initially, they looked a bit like chicken pox spots. With time they turned purpuric and didn't blanch when pressed. That was when the panic began!
(and despite the kidney damage dd had, and 14 years of follow-ups at GOSH until she was 18, dd is fine)

OP would this help as you are in the US

www.childhelp.org/hotline/

Hope the link works

Get the professionals involved. We had a potential safeguarding issue last year. Sounded not-good from what little DC said at first, but on investigation at school, with a number of people being questioned, it turned out to be not exactly innocent but not a safeguarding issue in the way we had feared. I wrote down exactly what DC said, as soon as they said it. Then phoned the school safeguarding officer. Their instructions were not to ask any more questions but to leave it to the pros.

Oh do fuck off. Seriously.

Why is it a drop feed that i didn't mention something that happened to me as a child?!

Where did I say I know nothing of safeguarding? I said people where I live now don't do the whole safeguarding thing they do in the UK or other states.

If I was in the UK I'd have known to have gone to the NSPCC, there isn't an equivalent where I am. I know, I've just asked a fucking social worker who works exclusively with children.

Im not sure what you're trying to imply. I'm not brushing it under the carpet or a troll. Report this thread. Mumsnet can confirm I've been on here for 10 years.

It wasn't a drip feed at all, thats just ridiculous.

Dont get sidetracked OP. You're handling this right and getting lots of good advice - focus on that.

Op you are doing the right thing, hugs to you and your little boy

Please get him checked up asap by the Gp.

Hopefully it's something innocent

Hi OP I wouldn't question anyone at the centre at all yet. Don't raise suspicions and give anyone a chance to cover up. Would they have cctv in that room? Again be very careful not to raise the alarm yet in case it gives someone a chance to wipe it or something. (Sorry I watch too much tv). You are handling this great, well done you. Also second NSPCC they work closely with police and know what to do. Maybe you could Skype them from the U.S.

He's woken and bruises are gone (in two hours???????) and there's a rash and he has a fever of 103 and is floppy. WAiting for doctor call back.

How can bruises disappear in two hours? It's right where his lymph nodes are and I could see them swelling if ill but never heard of bruising.

I'd take him to the ER if he was mine op x

My little lad occasionally got bruises sometimes in his groin if his nappies were too tight. I would find it in the morning after he'd been in it all night, move him up to the next size and he'd be fine after that.
The nappies always used to fit fine, it's just that he wriggles so much that he manages to get it pulled up almost like a wedgie and then it bruises him.

But I would try and get him to talk, take him somewhere just the two of you and make sure he knows you will protect him against anything and anyone no matter what and he might open up.

Also doctor would be a good idea if they are bad bruises and not just something you might get as a normal bruise - if that makes sense.

OP, take a photograph, then you'll have something to refer to if it happens again. Make a note in a diary too then any patterns can be monitored.

Are his joints aching at all? And what sort of rash is it?

When lymph nodes swell they often become discoloured, due to an illness and infection, could it be that?

If he's floppy, has a rash/bruising and fever he needs to see a doctor urgently, don't wait for them to call back.

My 3 year old gets bruises like that a lot because my 6 year old has taught him to slide down the bunkbed ladder like a fireman sliding down a pole. However he has never said anything about secrets or monsters, that would be the concerning thing for me.

Hope he's ok OP

How can bruises disappear in two hours?
If they were not bruises to begin with then I would imagine they can disappear as quickly as they appeared.
Do you have a hospital emergency department you can take him to rather than wait for a doctor to call back?

Floppy, rash, bruises etc mean that he has to see a doctor urgently/ go to the ER.

Hope you're ok OP. I second emergency department too if he has rash, fever and floppiness.

Please get him to the emergency room!

Not hives are they OP? My DC have had hives from allergic reactions in their groin area.

This would explain them disappearing fairly quickly

With or without bruises, a rash + fever+ floppy means he needs ER now