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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to be annoyed that church is so boring and missing an opportunity to teach something inspiring

418 replies

somethingmustchange · 08/01/2018 08:31

We rarely go except on visits to MIL. Each time the service is read from exactly the same booklet, the sermon teaches nothing and is just boring reciting of the bible, the hymns are dire and sung terribly by everyone including choir. I always leave feeling depressed and cross that the vicar doesn't try to inspire a new generation or give feelings of hope, happiness, community etc. Then the church goers (all 70 plus apart from maybe 2) have coffee and judge other people that are their supposed friends. How are churches supposed to have a future if they carry on like this?

OP posts:
RueDeWakening · 08/01/2018 11:14

YABU, it depends on the church so perhaps try a different one?

When I went to church yesterday, more than 50% of the congregation was under 18. That's not unusual at the (afternoon) service I attend.

Subtleconstraints · 08/01/2018 11:18

I agree with the op so far as massively declining church numbers suggests that Christian churches of all kinds are failing to inspire and 'nourish' their congregations.

After all theology is one of the most inspiring subjects of all in that it asks all the important questions, such as, why am I here, what is my purpose etc?

And I think in many cases, the Sunday service has become removed from what is central to our lives and our interpretation of the liturgy is increasingly turgid and complacent. And perhaps too content with the status quo (ie middle class church goers picking their way through homeless sleepers in the church yard after Mass).

I am RC and have become disillusioned with the male led hierarchy. But our church does very inspiring outreach work (mostly women volunteers) providing practical and emotional help to the elderly, those with disabilities and those living on the bread line; so those are the things I involve myself with.

I think Muslim and Jewish religious communities are often succeeding where Christian churches are not, because they are more geared to, and inclusive of, practical family life.

maddiemookins16mum · 08/01/2018 11:21

Our church is fab, everyone wears jeans, we have songs instead of hymns and a 4 piece band made up of our youth leaders all in their early 20's.

SpadesOfGlory · 08/01/2018 11:25

My church is nothing like what you've described at all! I find it really sad that this is the case at all nowadays.

My church currently doesn't even have a church building, we meet every week in a community hall! We don't have ordained clergy, our leaders are energetic, genuinely happy, and have a passion to reach people for Jesus. About 70-100 people of all ages weekly, mix of traditional hymns and modern worship songs, thriving community outreach programmes, English classes for Syrian refugees, football midweek groups etc. The people are real, friendly, and so supportive. Church is about rejoicing with those who rejoice, weeping with those who weep...being right there with someone in whatever they are going through. However, no church is perfect, as it's made up of imperfect people.

YellowFlower201 · 08/01/2018 11:30

Golden why do you go??? Several people have asked you on this and other threads yet you never respond but insist on telling everyone how awful church is. Why not address the question?
Don't go if ya don't like it! Simples!!!

hollowtree · 08/01/2018 11:33

I do see what you mean OP. I went to a service with my grandmother once... I was so horrified I kept the reading! It was really 'Hellfire and Damnation'!

Our vicar is welcoming, forward thinking and teaches the bible. Not reads it. He finds new ways to interpret the text and make it relatable. This is what you may be looking for OP, and church services like this do exist.

However, you can't do anything to change the ones who judge in their little clicky Christian circles. IMHO, they have grossly misinterpreted the bible and seem to have forgotten that judgement is for The Lord and The Lord only to make.

Our vicar often says (during communion) "We welcome all, gay, straight, rich, poor, believer or non- a great many non believers approached Jesus' table and I don't recall him having turned a single one away".

He is amazing- and I totally agree with you that we need more people like this to let the community know the Church is there for them and to welcome them.

donners312 · 08/01/2018 11:34

I completely agree with you OP!

It is so boring although i enjoy the music and i just don't relate to it at all (I go to support DD who goes for a hobby and enjoys it).

It could really be an inspirational place but they need to be more relatable.

GoldenWondering · 08/01/2018 11:36

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Nikephorus · 08/01/2018 11:40

This is nothing like my church. I leave feeling inspired, relaxed and recharged.
This ^^. I've only just started going again after years & the service I go to is an early one so the congregation numbers less than 20 & is more older, but I've felt so relaxed and calm for the whole day afterwards. It's a great feeling. I've enjoyed the sermons too.

LoniceraJaponica · 08/01/2018 11:41

Oh Golden that sounds like a miserable existence Flowers

Eltonjohnssyrup · 08/01/2018 11:42

Then the church goers (all 70 plus apart from maybe 2) have coffee and judge other people that are their supposed friends. How are churches supposed to have a future if they carry on like this?

You've just started an entire thread judging them and their church! Maybe you should listen closer to the bible readings? You might get something out of it:

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

YellowFlower201 · 08/01/2018 12:09

Who is 'they' Golden? The vicar and his wife? Or someone else?? What denomination is this? Sounds like your parents are in a cult. You can distance yourself and you should. Get help if you need to!!

araiwa · 08/01/2018 12:14

Why am i here? Random chance
What is my purpose? Up to you. Your life, make of it what you will

speakout · 08/01/2018 12:18

Frankly i dont know why any woman would want to go to an openly misogynistic place such as a church

THis x 100

GoldenWondering · 08/01/2018 12:20

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BarbarianMum · 08/01/2018 12:40

How can this possibly be true?

LoniceraJaponica · 08/01/2018 13:03

GoldenWondering I remember you posting about church before. What would happen if you just went out for the day and avoided being frogmarched to church?

PatriarchyPersonified · 08/01/2018 13:31

Thankfully religion is dying out in this country, (although not as fast as I would like) so you won't have to worry about it for to much longer.

For all the posters saying that the christian message is uplifting and inspiring, I'd say you are not being particularly honest, probably not even with yourselves. Some parts of the bible are nice, even inspirational, but most of it is horrendous bronze age myths that threaten people with eternal damnation if they commit such terrible sins as masturbation or lying.

Just think about that for a second, to give you some idea, there are as many atoms of water in a teaspoon of water as there are teaspoons of water in the Atlantic ocean. Now imagine how many atoms of water there are in the Atlantic. A lot. If I went to Hell and was hideously burned and tortured for a year for every atom of water in the Atlantic, once i reached the end I would not even have started my punishment, which is by definition, infinite.

Now just think, that is the fate of every single non-christian person who is alive and has ever lived, (according to the bible) while any mass murderer, paedophile, rapist etc who happens to be a christian can sin their entire life, then just ask for forgiveness at the last minute and spend eternity in heaven.

Doesn't seem fair does it? almost like the whole thing is an evil load of bollocks.

Flyingflipflop · 08/01/2018 13:35

Why am i here? Random chance
What is my purpose? Up to you. Your life, make of it what you will

Well done for being sneery.

FuzzyCustard · 08/01/2018 13:37

Narrow view patriarchy..what about all the good that people of faith do? Shown to be greater than those of no faith.

And I don't recall any of the Bible talking about atoms in the ocean...I genuinely don't get that analogy.

And thirdly, the "hell fire" stuff is rather Old Testament, whereas Jesus preaches love - his New Covenant. And hell is often described as being separated from God, or the absence of God.

But anyway, we are all fortunate to be able to have a difference of opinion on faith and belief and to be able to express it in public.

coconuttella · 08/01/2018 13:48

Those who are so against Christianity on this thread seem determined to put it in a box by insisting that it must be defined by a literal fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible. Yes, there a some Christian churches who are like this, but many are far more nuanced... As such they are creating a straw man.

I would call myself a Christian - albeit a liberal one - and tend to agree with most of the positions put forward by atheists!

PatriarchyPersonified · 08/01/2018 13:48

Atoms in the ocean is simply a device to illustrate exactly how long eternal torture actually is.

You are correct that Christians have revised their descriptions of Hell to make it seem slightly less bonkers/cruel. Does that mean the Old Testament is wrong? How do you choose which parts of the Bible to take seriously then? Even if Hell is actually not that bad, do you think it's fair that every non Christian who has ever lived has ended up there regardless of how they lived their life? What about the people who were living in say Australia or China at the time of Jesus' life? They had no chance to become Christians because God chose to make his divine revelation in one of the most backward out of the way part of the entire planet. Seems a bit... Weird doesn't it? Almost like it's not true.

araiwa · 08/01/2018 13:49

we are all fortunate to be able to have a difference of opinion on faith and belief and to be able to express it in public.

you sure about that?

coconuttella · 08/01/2018 13:52

Yes! I go every Sunday & we have a new priest. The service is over an hour. I have small children who start fidgeting as 45 mins is their max.

Not surprised.... Sounds RC? Every church I’ve been to has had a “Sunday club/school” that they children go out to during the service.

coconuttella · 08/01/2018 14:01

Does that mean the Old Testament is wrong?

It was the product of Bronze Age society and their attempts to understand the deeper questions of life. It has to be understood through that prism. Yes, there is much barbarism, but that’s also intertwined with the sublime. It’s a false dichotomy to regard it as either “divinely written” or “total garbage”.

How do you choose which parts of the Bible to take seriously then?

You use your mind and your conscience. The Bible can’t be interpreted in a vacuum, even if you try and interpret it literally you’ll inevitably apply your prejudices and preconceptions to it (hence why you can get JWs and Pentecostals believing very different things whilst both claiming to regard the Bible as infallible).