Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed at DH?

153 replies

MrsStinkey · 07/01/2018 10:33

So this morning DH asks our two DDs if they'd like a takeaway breakfast. I wasn't fussed but they all fancied one so we told him what we'd like and he set off. The place is a 20 min drive from us and they stop serving breakfast at 10:30. Had a missed call on my mobile from his which was strange as my phone didn't even ring so tried to call him back and just got his answerphone. Thought that was a bit weird but maybe he'd lost his signal or something. Then a random mobile number calls me. It's DH. He's informed me he's on a busy road with an elderly man that had broken down and has fallen. He now has to wait with him for an ambulance and the AA to come but will miss breakfast at the takeaway. That all is no problem you wouldn't just leave someone like that. But his mobile phone has died and he's calling me from the old man's phone so no way of contacting me after this call. I say to him what will I do about Dc's breakfast? Meaning will I just make something, or wait for him or will he sort something else? He then tells me not to get on at him and that our breakfast doesn't matter this situation is far more important. Try to explain that im asking as I won't get to speak to him again as his own phone has died which isn't ideal. The only reason his phone has died is because he's to lazy to finda charger before bed at night which happens regularly. He has loads of chargers that he leaves lying around the house he just can't be bothered bringing one up to the bedroom. I'm then told again not to get on at him just because I want a takeaway (not true, I didn't want one in the first place). So AIBU to be annoyed not about the situation but about the fact his phone has died which happens a lot, he's made me sound really terribly selfish in front of whoever was there and I'm no further forward really knowing what to tell DC's about breakfast? For context they're 6 & 2 so will just be disappointed they're not getting a takeaway.

OP posts:
buckeejit · 07/01/2018 11:03

YABU as you were in a position to say ok we'll have toast don't worry instead of what will I do toy feed dc.

Have you spoken to him to check how the old man is?

Yes he should have charged phone but he is not BU

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notreallyarsed · 07/01/2018 11:03

Who even does take away breakfast?!

I’m guessing you’re not in Scotland Grin there’s about 5 places local to me that deliver breakfasts, not including all the takeaway places.

OP I’m concerned because your reaction to your husband isn’t what I’d expect. I don’t read it as you being stroppy, I read it as you walking on eggshells. Which is worrying.

waterfall0119 · 07/01/2018 11:03

How is the age of the OP relevant? Hmm

6 and 2 is fine to be having a maccas breakfast as a treat!

I agree that everyone is hailing her husband as a hero - the man is fine, he is only waiting for an ambulance, would it have killed him to let the OP know whether to sort breakfast out herself or not? OP, it does slightly concern me that you are worried about his reaction and feel you beed his guidance to make the smallest of decisions - it would be very concerning if he were to kick off because you had fed your children! Kids get hungry, unreasonable for them to have to wait until after half ten for breakfast.

I would make them a ‘treat’ breakfast at home if you have stuff in, rather than boring old toast or cereal.

Whisky2014 · 07/01/2018 11:04

You are being unreasonable. It's not about it being his idea for breakfast or if his phone is dead. None of that matters. Go make some pancakes or something. Jesus.

waterfall0119 · 07/01/2018 11:04

*need not beed!

Motoko · 07/01/2018 11:07

Give the children breakfast and if DH brings something back, deal with him then. You can point out to him that that was the reason why you asked him about whether you should give the children something to eat. You could also point out to him about charging his phone again, saying this is exactly why he should keep it charged.

He said he's not going to be long, but ambulances and the AA can take ages to arrive, so your children shouldn't have to wait.

He was a dick to be so snippy with you.

LinoleumBlownapart · 07/01/2018 11:08

Anyway that's him just walked in with breakfast and guess who's the bad guy? I was making DCs toast and jumping in the shower.

If feeding your children and having a shower makes you bad then we're all doomed.

Motoko · 07/01/2018 11:08

Oh blimey, 2 more pages of posts since I started writing mine, and it only took a few minutes!

Whisky2014 · 07/01/2018 11:08

He got on at you because you asked a ridiculous question. You say he could have just said "I don't know when I'll be done and that's fine "easy peasy you say. If it were me the fact of even asking him wouldn't have crossed my mind because he was calling to say "i won't make the takeaway breakfast therefor you sort it." It's common sense No?

Fruitcocktail6 · 07/01/2018 11:11

I don't understand why anyone is the bad guy in this situation? Unless, as other posters have suggested, there are much deeper issues here than breakfast.

BattleCuntGalactica · 07/01/2018 11:11

😶

AIBU to be annoyed at DH?
IamaBluebird · 07/01/2018 11:13

Let the children have the breakfast. You have the toast and Brew

Branleuse · 07/01/2018 11:15

just make them some breakfast. If he is wierd about that later than just ignore him.

Honestpotato · 07/01/2018 11:16

What did I just read?

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 07/01/2018 11:17

What am I reading

Motoko · 07/01/2018 11:19

If it were me the fact of even asking him wouldn't have crossed my mind because he was calling to say "i won't make the takeaway breakfast therefor you sort it." It's common sense No?

Well, seeing as he's just got back WITH breakfast, and the OP has done toast...

This is what the OP was trying to avoid, and all her husband had to do was answer her question.

Fruitcocktail6 · 07/01/2018 11:21

Motoko

But so what? It's a bit of toast. They can have the toast AND breakfast. Or, in the grand scheme of things, a bit of wasted toast won't hurt anyone.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/01/2018 11:21

2 separate issues....

SilverySurfer · 07/01/2018 11:24

WTF?

lovelystar · 07/01/2018 11:30

I sympathise about the phone dying as know it's annoying for you but there is a time and a place. If you were going to bring it up maybe you should have waited until he was home/later that day. He's probably aware he's made a mistake but just didn't need telling there and then! As for breakfast should have just made some toast or cereal or something for your dc while you waited for more info

RhiWrites · 07/01/2018 11:30

I really feel for OP. All she tried to ask was “shall I feed the kids something here or wait for you?”
And her partner (and posters here) all said “stop moaning on about your takeaway when someone is hurt”.

She’s been clear she didn’t care about a takeaway she just wanted to be on the same page. And when she decided to go ahead and feed the kids she was in the wrong again.

I’m sorry OP, I hope this is a one off and not a pattern of you always being made to feel wrong and small for asking a question.

HermioneAndMsJones · 07/01/2018 11:31

I think the OP had sussed her DH right. (As partner usually do btw ....)

He made a huge fuss out of helping the guy, refused to answer a simple question about him still getting b’fast or not.
And now he is making her feel crap because he did get the b’fast after all and she didn’t wait for him.

OP I’m sorry but actually I dont think that your relationship is perfect at all if he is regularly playing that sort of tricks on you.
And the fact you knew you had to ask the question and clarify if he would be getting b’fast is not is telling me that it’s not a one off occurrence.

HermioneAndMsJones · 07/01/2018 11:34

If feeding your children and having a shower makes you bad then we're all doomed.
Well actually it’s quite easy to make someone being the bad guy in that case.
Dad went out of his way to STILL get the take away b’fast DESPITE acting like a heroe buy helping a elderly man.
And when he comes home, everyine has had b’fast.

So of course, the person who didn’t wait for him will be the bad guy seeing all the efforts he did and how kind he has been all morning ... to everyine bar the OP.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 07/01/2018 11:34

Jesus wept, is it International Bitchy Day?

OP YANBU. He could have easily answered that question without making you sound awful & giving you some idea whether to wait for him to bring breakfast home or just give the kids breakfast. But of course, he’s a man, so lots of wimmin are rushing to blame you for being inept, because, of course, it’s not him being bloody irritating.

It is irrelevant that when dinosaurs roamed the earth we didn’t have mobile phones, we do now., and most people have them & keep them charged, especially when they have small children.

I hope you’ve put him straight about his grumpy attitude? He was unclear about what he was going to do so you fed hungry kids, he has NO reason to be grumpy. Stupid twat.