AIBU to be annoyed at DH?

[MrsStinkey]

So this morning DH asks our two DDs if they'd like a takeaway breakfast. I wasn't fussed but they all fancied one so we told him what we'd like and he set off. The place is a 20 min drive from us and they stop serving breakfast at 10:30. Had a missed call on my mobile from his which was strange as my phone didn't even ring so tried to call him back and just got his answerphone. Thought that was a bit weird but maybe he'd lost his signal or something. Then a random mobile number calls me. It's DH. He's informed me he's on a busy road with an elderly man that had broken down and has fallen. He now has to wait with him for an ambulance and the AA to come but will miss breakfast at the takeaway. That all is no problem you wouldn't just leave someone like that. But his mobile phone has died and he's calling me from the old man's phone so no way of contacting me after this call. I say to him what will I do about Dc's breakfast? Meaning will I just make something, or wait for him or will he sort something else? He then tells me not to get on at him and that our breakfast doesn't matter this situation is far more important. Try to explain that im asking as I won't get to speak to him again as his own phone has died which isn't ideal. The only reason his phone has died is because he's to lazy to finda charger before bed at night which happens regularly. He has loads of chargers that he leaves lying around the house he just can't be bothered bringing one up to the bedroom. I'm then told again not to get on at him just because I want a takeaway (not true, I didn't want one in the first place). So AIBU to be annoyed not about the situation but about the fact his phone has died which happens a lot, he's made me sound really terribly selfish in front of whoever was there and I'm no further forward really knowing what to tell DC's about breakfast? For context they're 6 & 2 so will just be disappointed they're not getting a takeaway.

Are you scared of him op?

Lots of mean people here today OP. Don't mind them. So righteous about your hero husband who it sounds like was using his hero status to make you feel small rather than answer a simple question.

Yabu and ridiculous. This is really not a drama.

Life existed before mobile phones. Lots of people still don't use them as a matter of routine. Just use your common sense. Feed your kids. This is such an unbelievable non event.

Could you explain to the DC that Dad went to get their breakfast, but did a very kind thing and is helping a poorly man who needs to go to hospital so they’re having toast/cereal/whatever instead?
It could be a really good way of explaining that doing the right thing for someone in need is more important than treats.
If he routinely is uncontactable I would be pissed off, but this morning I wouldn’t iyswim.

UnitedKungdom that's pretty much it. He'll be annoyed, argue and then it'll set the tone for the rest of the day. As simple yes or no would've been fine so I knew what was going on, I don't care about the takeaway! The DCs will but that doesn't bother me either they'd just be told not to be so selfish. Instead of an answer to a perfectly reasonable question I got made out to be a horrible, selfish person. "I'll just come home when I'm done here" would've been more than sufficient for me. No problem, I'll sort the DCs breakfast and do you something when you get in. Easy peasy.

Mountains and molehills op. Give them some toast and if he still brings something home I’m sure they’ll eat it

Is every little thing a drama in your house/relationship?

He is also regularly uncontactable which I suppose is why I got so annoyed with the uncharged phone this morning. Not the first time we've had that conversation.

What?? How old are you OP? Just give the kids breakfast

Costa, everything in houses with passive aggressive partners tends to be a drama.

So you are walking on eggshells with him in general?

I take it this is McDonalds? I absolutely adore a double sausage and egg meal with fizzy juice (Irn Bru) and and extra hash brown.

A few things you could do:

• make toast, scrambled egg etc for the kids. They should be pleased that they have a kind daddy who helps people in need
• Go to Burger King, their breakfast isn’t as good
• or an all day breakfast place- I enjoy a nice Morrisons

About the charging a phone. It happens and no one is perfect. He sounds stressed, and so do you. Cut him and yourself s bit of slack. Ultimately he is being a good person and priority is this sick gentleman. Sounds like wires crossed, lost in translation!

God, you sound like a nightmare! Just give them some cereal and if he returns with takeaway breakfast, then good - they can have a second breakfast.

I would be more concerned about the poor old man, tbh.

1. There was a time before mobile phones. Humans managed to survive.

1. Your kids demanding a takeaway breakfast (whatever that is) at 6 and 2 is an issue.

1. Can’t you just whip up some scrambled egg on toast and talk to them about the kind act your husband is doing?

Also, although I do adore a Maca D’s breakfast I tend to feel a bit shit 2 hours later.

If you’ve got an Asda locally they do sausage patty things that look like a McDonald’s sausage and all the other bits and pieces to make a fake McDonalds takeaway. It’s our kids favourite holiday treat.

I'm not scared of him and actually there isn't a lot of drama in our house at all. We live a relatively drama free life. Just his reaction was a bit crap. Anyway that's him just walked in with breakfast and guess who's the bad guy? I was making DCs toast and jumping in the shower.

Oh and my phone runs out of charge all the time. I am notorious for it and I don't really care. It's just not a priority for me. However, it bothers my DH immensely, so he tends to put it on charge for me, if he gets the opportunity. He never nags or complains, he just does it.

Perhaps this is something you could consider doing if it bothers you so much?

He is also regularly uncontactable

Why does he need to be permanently contactable?

What the hell am I reading here.

say to him what will I do about Dc's breakfast

Oh FFS really?

Do you not think 'ok, hope the man is ok, see you when I see you' may have been a more reasonable response?

Needy or what!

Has your DH made you like this? Your reaction isn't normal (sorry) and the crux of it seems to be the expected reaction either way from your DH.

I've lived with someone who will create a drama if I do the wrong thing, so I get why you're in a dilemma. But you need to feed the children, so just do it and shrug at your DH if he turns up with food. Let him have a little paddy, but don't react to him.

Hmm. On the uncontactable thing I think you are being unreasonable. There is no need for an adult to be contactable 24/7.

However, you seem paralysed with anxiety about whether you make the wrong call. Do you have anxiety problems in general or is your DH likely to be angry/criticise if you do the ‘wrong’ thing?

Who even does take away breakfast?! This is what you should have said to dh. 'That Poor man, thank God you're there to help him, Don't worry about the kids breakfast. I'll feed them. Just make sure that man is ok' - or something similar!

Cross-posted.