To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

You simply cannot micromanage presents

This. Absolutely.

You sound staggeringly ungrateful. And your DS's attitude is disgraceful.

The lego sets can be used in other ways, are a great gift for a small boy and were expensive. If you feel this way about lego, you're a nightmare to buy for to be frank. Regift if you don't have the creativity to use as blocks. The vast majority of little boys would be delighted with them.

Keep the book. My DS has 'grown into' many gifts over the years. You can't expect everything to be exactly right at that precise moment in time.

Exchange the clothes for something else.

But you'd be well advised to watch your attitude. You're coming across really badly here and your DS is already picking up on it.

I think you are getting a hard time on here. I too would be feeling pissed off if so many presents were unsuitable.

But before giving them all to charity, I would have a go at swapping them first or try and sell on Ebay.

I wouldn't regift Lego Cars to 6 year old either. Most 6 yr olds I know wouldn't be interested (I have two DSs 7 and 5). It's just passing the waste/thoughtless present issue onto someone else. I would wait a few months then sell on a local selling site and let DS use the money to choose something he really wants.

Also both my DSs love lego. However what they enjoy the most is following the instructions and building what is meant to be built. Not all children are the same and not all want to tip random bricks into a box.

If everybody had gone to Poundland and bought endless supplies of Playdough, crayons and paper, you might be moaning about that possibly? Where to store it all, the mess, etc.

People are busy and often under pressure to buy for multiple children at Christmas and they probably do their best. As PP have said, the polyester issue is s big deal to you, but not likely to feature strongly at the forefront of other people's minds. Do you always know the specifics of other children's allergies or preferences?

Everyone receives presents they need to recycle - it's to be expected really. I'm sure some of your gifts are being recycled as we speak, despite your best efforts. It's not a bad thing if the charity shops benefit.

Get a grip. Why should they ask its the thoughr not the gift. As if someone would think a dinosaur book was inappropriate for a 'sensitive' six yr old?!! Or that he likes lego but not car ines. Ffs.
Save them for party presents or put thrm away.
You sound a bit precious and snowfaley tbh. If they go to a charity shop theyre not wasted.
HTH

Wow. Ungrateful.

yura any chance you could post a picture of the front cover of the book.. sounds like something my 11 year old would love and like you say can't find "young readers horror stories" anywhere online and I'd love to try and find this book to order it

Bloody hell just reread about your sons comment te regifting. Those comments have come from you. Youre raising potentially a spoilt little brat who is at risk of having few friendd and being very very rude.
Smells a bit off imo.

just one more thing: the lego is all from thid range:
www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/lego-disney-pixar-cars-3-the-movie-range/lego-10730-juniors-disney-pixar-cars-lightning-mcqueen-speed-launcher/p/158506
its racing cars, not much else
most 6 year olds find toys adressed to 4 year old stupid i'm afraid (we do thank the giver though). the are £7 a pack, so a waste of money but not exorbitantly expensive

They might find them stupid but are old enough not to vocalise this.

Which LEGO sets come with no bricks, OP? Can you post a link?

Also YABU to yield to your son’s whims in what he gives as presents to other kids. That’s money you will have to spend on gifts completely unnecessarily. If he is a 6-year-old boy I refuse to believe that NONE of his mates like cars, or would enjoy playing with LEGO cars. It’s statistically impossible!

Most 6 yr olds wouldnt even look at the age tbh. Theyd just want to open it.
If this was my nephew id buy fuck all next yr.
Why is it a waste? Take them back for something else.
Wondering what else isnt suitable tbh. Bet you would find something wrong with most gifts.

We have lots of similar sets from that range. They may not be as versatile as traditional blocks, but you can absolutely use them for other things.

Tolerating DS calling anyone's gift choices 'stupid' is definitely not on. You are raising a brat.

I think this is quite horrifying. When I think of the time in December spent traipsing round the shops, the enourmous amount of cash spent, the wrapping and writing and building- it’s incredibly frustrating to think some ungrateful cow has bundled them straight off to the charity shop without a. Second thought

The set you link to above states it has 47 Lego pieces in it, not "about 5 bricks".

Crikey; perhaps you should send out a ten-page information pack about your family's likes and dislikes to any unfortunate soul who might be thinking of buying you a present next year.

I don't understand why on earth the Lego can't be re-gifted because your dc doesn't like it. I've never known a 6 yo to not like Lego so I'd imagine your dc is in the minority. I have twin 6 year old girls. They love Lego but wouldn't necessarily choose cars, they'd still be happy if they were given it though because I have polite grateful children.

Material issue is frustrating so I'd mention that to the givers if they were close family.

Book - put to one side until older.

Oh dear.

We don't have many people to buy for our twins - this christmas gifts came from one aunt and their grandmother, and a little thing from a friend. That's it.

My boys are complex - they have eczema and allergies too, and they are in much smaller clothes than their age, so clothing gifts are often unsuitable because they're the wrong season when they fit them or they're synthetic etc. That's just what happens. I don't expect anyone to know the ins and outs of my kids issues and sizing - Christ, DH has a hard enough time keeping on top of it.

One gift was a bubble machine - one of my boys is terrified of bubbles. Again, I don't expect anyone to know this.

Return and exchange what you can, send a big thank you explaining that they couldn't be worn because of his skin condition but you have swapped them for this lovely item which is so useful. Keep the left go for regifting (I don't believe not a single one of your son's friends would appreciate what is an expensive gift) or exchange it.

I'm sure I've bought gifts for people they haven't liked, no doubt about it. You do your best.

YANBU about Lego junior for a 6 year old, at 6 my DS had built half of Lego City and was asking for Ninjango and Star Wars sets. The Junior range would’ve been wasted on him, and it is too expensive to waste like that.

The book thing is a bit odd, but I’ve got a far from sensitive child so I can’t relate to that at all, DS would’ve found that book pretty awesome.

YANBU in regard to the PJ material, if your children have severe health issues which dictates what they can and can’t put on their skin then I’d expect family members to know and remember that. I would with my family anyway. Not seeing the issue with a two piece though.

I'm a charity shop volunteer and we're always deluged this time of year with unwanted gifts.

We'd be very grateful for Lego as it sells very well. And clothes with tags on. And all other new or as new gifts will sell wel too, either now or put away for next Nov/Dec.

But please don't bring us jigsaws with half the bits missing, sticker books which have been done, edibles or the "designer" bag your Mum bought in Turkey. All will get binned/recycled and disposing of fakes and things we're not allowed to sell actually costs us money.

I think people are jumping all over you, but I hear what you’re saying. Christmas this year felt like a big fat festival of waste - of course it’s sad when people spend their hard earned money and effort on buying a nice present and then it can’t even be used and has to go straight to charity shop! My mum is great at buying clothes but my dad and siblings just ask each other what would be nice, what they need/want. It’s just so inefficient otherwise. Some wise mum at school instituted ‘fiver in a card’ for all parties, i was a bit at first but now think it is win win win - less crap plastic waste, less expectation of opening a bajillion presents, child gets to choose one large thing they want after the party, no running round going WHERE IS THE WRAPPING PAPER 2 minutes before leaving.

I think in such an age of rampant consumerism and waste, we have to rethink old norms of just-be-grateful.

Where I live some kids get one truck or doll for Christmas, most get clothes that they need and parents use Christmas to kill two birds with one stone. I sometimes buy unwanted Christmas presents in the UK charity shops and bring them here as the postal service have a system that they will deliver them to very poor children who will otherwise get nothing. Lego toys are very expensive so usually only very rich people have them. Getting one of these toys would be amazing for them, even kids older than 7 would cherish a toy like this. Most people feel sorry for developing world kids like these, but I don't , the ones I know are some of the nicest and happiest children I know. Just give the stuff to charity.

Apart from the polyester you sound like a brat. Next year issue a card/text message saying no presents thank you so people don't waste their money on you.

Why doesn't your ds own any other Lego bricks? You said earlier he likes Lego bricks.